Oh My Oh My Oh Mucus, Sex Pistols Never Say Die (Except That One Guy... Ahem...)

As I sit here, with undoubtedly the most viscous and opaque mucus on the terra firma of this green and slowly warming planet (if we are to believe some) filling the necessary pathways to my body, I wonder: is there a band that adequately represents my current dilemma?

I search for the obvious, The Mucus, to no success. The Runny Noses, nothing. The Phlegm-induced Fits Of Coughing And Hacking At Four In The Morning, not a one. And here’s me thinking that if I Google these hypothetical names with the word ‘band’ afterward, I’ll actually find a band to fit the name -- next time. (Edit: here’s Snot and Phelgm...enjoy...)

For now, The Sex Pistols will have to do. And they will do by celebrating (such a PR word) the 30th anniversary of Never Mind the Bollocks by headlining Saturday night at the Isle of Wight Festival this June. Stick around and you might even see The Police close the next night.
06.14.08 - Isle of Wight, UK – Isle of Wight Festival

Camel Try to Infiltrate the Indie Music Market, Just Like Every Other Corporation Ever

This is how PR works. It's all that fucked up kind of sneaky stuff. The four-page foldout Camel cigarettes ad in the 40th anniversary issue of Rolling Stone isn't the worst of the worst; it's more bizarre than anything.

If you didn't hear about it or see it, there's a gigantic 4-page pull-out ad in the November issue of Rolling Stone that's called the "Indie Rock Universe," featuring a solar system of cool bands who wear black converse that was also an ad for the now out-of-service "The Farm" website, where you could stream the bands in the ad. Of course, it was all really just a big ad for Camel cigarettes.

Is it as bad as when Edward Bernays christened cigarettes "torches of liberty" and handed out free packs to suffragettes in order to make them popular amongst women? Or astro-turfing?

Not really...

BUT, several different parties are pissed for several totally understandable reasons.

So far, nine State Attorney Generals have sued R.J. Reynolds (company who owns Camel) for violating the 1998 Master Settlement Agreement between 46 states and tobacco manufacturers, which includes a ban on using cartoon images to advertise tobacco, of which the Indie Rock Universe ad is guilty. Because of the violation, which R.J. Reynolds claims they didn't know the ad would take cartoon form, the company faces up to a $100 million fine.

Not to mention the fact that the majority of the named-dropped and streamed bands were never asked permission.

In reaction to this, R.J. Reynolds, as mentioned above, has shut The Farm website and has halted all Indie Rock Universe advertising. Not only that, but due to continued pressure from anti-smoking groups to have the company stop print advertising entirely, R.J. Reynolds has announced it will not advertise in magazines and newspapers at all in 2008.

The use of indie culture for corporate gain is really nothing new, (remember this?); the creepy part is that one of these ad geniuses is probably somewhat "in the know," even though there are some fuck-ups (Spoon is from the Northwest?). For the most part, it's completely packed with self-referencing music geekness, along with the fact that some of the bands listed have done tours sponsored by Camel. Of course, this gets into the tricky debate over whether or not accepting corporate money signifies anything positive about the relationship between art and commerce (assuming they can be truly separated).

But that requires a whole discussion in and of itself.

New Throbbing Gristle DVD Set to Spread Joy/Fear This Holiday Season

Pornography. Synthesizers. Tampons. Screaming. Who can imagine the Christmas/Kwanzaa/Hanukkah/Solstice season without them? Just as millions of people in cold places eagerly await to see if snow will arrive in time for a picturesque festive season, at least several hundred people are now breathlessly anticipating the release of a very special new Throbbing Gristle DVD. That's right, just in time for the holiday season, everybody's favorite industrial noise performance artists are putting out TGV, a DVD collection including footage of the band's 2004 reunion at London's Astoria Theatre as well as nine complete shows from the period between 1979-1981.

Feeling a little peace-on-earth-goodwill-toward-men emanating from our friends in Throbbing Gristle? Well, stop it! In an official press release, the band states that while you, the proud owner of the TGV DVD, may be getting an insane amount of footage, it's not exactly guaranteed to be on the level of a Merchant Ivory production. This is some raw Gristle! According to the band "the shows from 1979-81 were shot on a single VHS hand-held camera, often in poor lighting conditions, reflecting TG's guerrilla approach to live presentation, technology and documentation." So if you're in the market for a little noise this holiday season, TGV is available on December 24 from Spacelab Music.

Throbbing Gristle live show footage and more:

Oundle School

Recording Heathen Earth at the Industrial Records Studios, Martello St.
London

Sheffield University

Rafters Club, Manchester

The Lyceum, London

Kezar Pavilion, San Francisco

The Derek Jarman film 'Psychic Rally in Heaven' London

Andrew Wheatley ?s film of the Cabinet Gallery Exhibition 'TG24'

Footage of a rehearsal at Mute Studios in February 2004

RE~TG at the Astoria Theatre

All Tomorrow?s Parties at Camber Sands

Turin, Italy

UK, Get Ready for MIA AND Rye Rye Tonight!

So, I was with a friend the other day, sitting around reading zines and listening to Television Personalties and Huggy Bear, when suddenly he's like,

"Have you heard Rye Rye?"

"No."

"She's on an MIA song?"

"No."

"Gggggggggiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllll!"

He put on her 12-inch of "Shake It to the Ground" and I immediately crapped my pants. Crapped. My. Pants. But seriously, have you heard Rye Rye on the remix of "Paper Planes"? It's pretty ripping, but also ripping are her other songs. "Shake It to the Ground" and "WASSUP WASSUP" are A-fucking-mazing -- they kind of blow my mind. I mean, fierce teenage girl rapping over minimal beats? Uuuuhhhhh yeah!

And MIA? Also pants-crappingly awesome. Do you need to be
reminded?

If you don't happen to live in the UK, at least take advantage of the internet and go check out the hitssssssssssss.

Tourdates:

Lee “Scratch” Perry and Andrew WK: Together At Last!

Hitting it off after being introduced to one another at SXSW, Andy & Mr. Lee Perry have been, by all accounts, working on an album together, laying down what's undoubtedly going to be some of the sickest party music anyone has ever heard ever. Known as Repentance, the album's sessions began in Anaheim, CA before moving to New York City for laying down vocals and then to Jamacia for mixing. Ari Up of The Slits and David Tibet of Current 93 are both contributing vocals to the album, and despite the presence of many more talented artists, everyone's favorite motivational speaker/former Wolf Eyes member Andrew W.K. remains as the primary producer ("Scratch" retains the title of "co-producer").

Repentance is to be released on Narnack Records, temporary home to the likes of The Fall, XBXRX, and Yellow Swans, sometime next spring. Why not?

Beastie Boys Radio Is Back! First Show Airs… A Few Days Ago. Sorry. Well They’re Putting Out a New DVD and Heading Back to the Studio, If That Makes You Feel Any Better

I really meant to tell you about the radio show. I was thinking about it in the shower, and I wanted to write it down. But then I started thinking about that new Beastie Boys DVD, then about the Daft Punk movie, then about how I want to buy a vocoder, and then about how ugly Auto-Tune sounds. By the time I got out of the shower, Beastie Boys Radio had completely slipped my mind. Then I slipped on the bathmat and hurt my groin.

Well, I’m sorry you missed it, because it was really good. The theme for the show was “dance songs,” primarily featuring songs with titles like “Do The Dog” (The Specials version) or “Do The Kick Back” (by JJ Williams). But they also played M.I.A.’s “Bird Flu,” a couple of Rufus Thomas tracks, and a cover of “Monster Mash” by The Misfits. Pretty much everything they played was great, but the best part were the interludes with the boys themselves. Those dudes are so funny, could listen to a two-hour show of them talking. Oh yeah, the show was two hours long.

If it makes you feel any better, I tried to record it. But I couldn’t get the software to work, so I had to install a plug-in. But the plug-in was too new, so I had to upgrade the software. But my stolen serial number didn’t work with the new version of the software. Then I slipped on my laptop and hurt my groin.

The good news is you can catch them next week, and indefinitely after that. The show airs Tuesdays from 4-6 PM EST on littleradio.com. Oh, you’ll probably still be at work at four. I guess I could try to record it for you, since I’ll be home on disability leave for my multiple groin injuries anyway.

Oh shit! I almost forgot! One of the Beastie Boys let slip that they’ll be heading back to the studio soon! Already! You should have been listening! Right, sorry.

Oh hey, it looks like some guy recorded the show and you can download it for free. Cool.

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