Our Brother The Native Finish Second Album, Plan Tour, Create Arby’s Melt/Beef ’n’ Cheddar Hybrid

There are several mysteries on earth that man may never know the answer to. Riddles that need solving, problems that need solutions, puzzles that need, er, jigsaw-ing — that kind of thing. But who are we as mere mortals to expect everything to be placed on our lap like a dinner-time napkin? It’s just not how life works... some things are meant to remain a mystery.

For example, what’s the difference between an Arby’s Melt and an Arby’s Beef ’n’ Cheddar? They both have beef, both are lavishly topped with cheese that should by all rights be plopped on a nacho, both are housed comfortably by a bread-based bun. Questions like this have haunted man for centuries; you could spend your entire life knocking your brains out, or you could just accept that you don’t know everything... but man, what is the difference? And why do tortilla chips have to be a snack and not a meal, you know? I don’t understand stuff like that...

Many people were equally confounded when I put Our Brother The Native’s debut album, Tooth and Claw, wayyyyyyyy up high on my 2006 Top-25 list. “What are you thinking, you fool, you blasphemist, you conjurer of messy roast beast!” they said. “Go back to the indie cave from whenst you came and take your beefy cheddars and large curlies with you. You... you disgust me. [whispering] Oh, and could I bum a few curlies before you hit the road?”

My reasoning? Well, I think it’s a great album. It stirred the juices of inspiration in me like only a superior piece of art (or a superior order of curlies) can. When I heard it for the first time, I stood up in the middle of my sprawling workplace and yelled, “My life now starts ANEW! Things are going to be different for me from now on!! You! Yes you, with the purple shirt, GET ME A CUP OF COFFEE!! You with the arched eyebrows, FLUFF MY SEAT CUSHION! THAT’S RIGHT, REALLY KNEAD THAT SHIT!!! I’ll be back to rule some more after my two-hour lunch break. BE AFRAID!”

And that was about it. I might have also used my super-powers to manipulate the weather, thus causing a huge indoor hurricane, but I don’t really remember. I was pretty tired that day. Speaking of tired, Our Brother The Native aren’t tired at all. In fact, they’ve completed their sophomore [pronounced ‘Soph-OOOO-Meuvre] album for FatCat Records, to be entitled Make Ammends, for We are Merely Vessels. They’ve even planned a short beef ’n’ cheddar, I mean, tour, for March. Well how about that, a tour! Some real go-getters, they are.

[I think it has to do with the size/persuasion of the bun, the weight of the roast beef, and the mandatory use of special sauce]:

Oh no! It’s Ono. (Yeah, that’s the news story title. Do I want to rewrite it? No, why? It’s too short? Well, it’s not as short as your weenie. Burn!)

When she is not busy pissing off residents of Liverpool for covering the city with posters of a woman's breast and vulva during its 2004 biennial celebration or blocking the latest Lennon documentary, Three Days in the Life, from being screened publicly, Yoko Ono is releasing a lot of music. Exactly why Ono has been embraced so warmly in 2007 after years of indignation and outright hatred is anyone's guess, but it is happening.

Important artist or hanger-on? Honest primal vocalist or a bowel obstruction set to music? No one polarizes people quite like Yoko does, and for that reason alone, we love her. [For the record, why would anyone want the old and tired Beatles of 1970 to soldier on when you could have the often-brilliant post-Beatles output by all four members, especially in the early 1970s? Bah! Give me any of Plastic Ono Band, Imagine, Ram, Band on the Run, All Things Must Pass, Living in the Material World, or Beaucoups de Blues over another Let It Be any day (Sorry Ringo, only one from you, just like your vocal contributions to The Beatles albums!). There. Rant over.]

Where was I? Oh, Yoko! After the widely-applauded release of her guest interpretive/collaborative album Yes, I'm a Witch in February, the 74-year-old, conceptual and performance artist, filmmaker, feminist, activist, humanitarian, mother, ex-wife, ex-collaborator of John Cage and Ornette Coleman, ex-Fluxus member, and ex-junkie will see a remix album of her work released on April 24 by "the home of uncompromising music" (read: Astralwerks). The tracklist contains mixes by some well-known giants in the electro, futuristic, gyration scene like Pet Shop Boys, Basement Jaxx, and Felix Da Housecat, and others that are less famous (at least to this close-minded, dance dance ignoration news writer).

Open your mouth, open your legs, open your wallet, open your ears. Randomly play CD and record an excerpt onto a slice of scotch tape, then send it to a stranger you've known for years (note found in Nadelle's forgotten Fluxus Box #4):

1. "You're the One" - Bimbo Jones Main Mix
2. "Everyman Everywoman" - Basement Jaxx Classic Mix
3. "Walking on Thin Ice" - Felix Da Housecat's Tribute Mix
4. "Hell in Paradise" - Peter Rauhofer Reconstruction Mix
5. "Give Me Something" - Morel's Pink Noise Vocal Mix
6. "Walking on Thin Ice" - Pet Shop Boys Electro Mix
7. "I Don't Know Why" - Sapphirecut Mix
8. "Ying Yang" - Orange Factory Down & Dirty Mix

Number9, number9, number9. "Will I" - John Creamer & Stephen K Mix
10. "Everyman Everywoman" - Murk Space Mix
11. "Kiss Kiss Kiss" - Superchumbo Main Mix
12. "Open Your Box" - Orange Factory Club Mix
13. "Walking on Thin Ice - "Danny Tenaglia Walked Across the Lake Mix
14. "Give Peace a Chance" - DJ Dan Vocal Mix

Victoriaville, Quebec. It is a quaint blip lying on the Nicolet River, the Trans Canada Highway, and Canadian National Railway. It is about a hundred miles northeast of Montréal and 72 miles south of Québec City. It is famous for its hardwood. Originally a settlement known as Demersville, the city changed its name to honor Queen Victoria in 1861 (I am guessing much to the distress of the town's French-speaking majority). It is regularly referred to as the "arsehole of Quebec" by a friend of mine, but I know this is primarily because he got his ass dumped by a girl from ‘Victo.' As a lumber-heavy mill town, Victoriaville is definitely most famous for the hockey sticks that bear the town's name. I switched my stick allegiance many years ago to Sherwood 5030s after planting the blade of my Victoriaville in a sidewalk crack while playing road hockey and bagging myself something terrible in the process.

For our purposes at TMT, the city's royal name will only be spoken in conjunction with the "musique actuelle" festival it hosts every year, namely, The Festival International de Musique Actuelle de Victoriaville. Priding itself on booking and presenting "modern" music in the very best sense of the word, this is the 24th edition and once again features visceral international inventors, composers, and installers alongside neo-classical heavyweights alongside noisy sound wrestlers alongside musique-concrete manipulators alongside non-traditional sound sculptors alongside, well, you get the picture, right? Additionally, Victoriaville loves introducing "world" or North American premieres of ensembles and shows and gets off on giving the spotlight to many artists before others catch up and are forced to. There is no downside I can think of; there's no reason why you shouldn't take a trip north to visit the economic capital of the "Bois-Franc" region of Quebec from May 17-21, despite what my bitter friend says.

Here's the lineup so far: Anthony Braxton 12(+1)-tet, John Zorn (solo), Acid Mothers Gong, Marilyn Crispell/Lotte Anker/Andrew Cyrille/Mark Helias, Corkestra, Jean-François Laporte, Michael Snowith Alan Licht/Aki Onda, Theresa Transistor, Melvins, Koenji Hyakkei, "Signal Quintet" (Jason Kahn/Tomas Korber/Norbert Möslang/Günter Müller/Christian Weber), Victoriaville Matière Sonore, Larry Peacock, Carla Bozulich, Magik Markers, Quasar/Alexandre Burton/Julien Roy, Anthony Braxton Diamond Curtain Wall Trio, Fine Kwiatkowski/Hans Tammen, John Tilbury/Stevie Wishart/Christof Kurzmann/Werner Dafeldecker, Fond of Tigers, Joane Hétu, Kevin Blechdom/Eugene Chadbourne, Daniel Menche, and Keiji Haino/Merzbow.

Brother Ali Ignores MTV’s Advice, Locks in Freshness, Disses Martha Stewart, Tours

[Rustling of paper, a hand raking over face, sound of metal tapping glass table, two heavy snorts, licking of plastic bag]

WOAH, what the hell happened there? Sorry about that, folks; I was doing some crystal meth in my breakfast nook, and when I returned to my computer, I passed out. I woke up, peeled my bare torso from the seat of my pleather computer chair like a fruit roll-up from its wrapper and found this idiotic poem on my desktop. So sorry about that! Hey, speaking of wrappers, Brother Ali is a pretty good one. He doesn’t have the patented burp that locks in freshness, but he DOES have a secret weapon: twist-ties. You don’t need one of those trendy, blog-approved freshness seals when you’ve got a corral of twist-ties! They do the trick every time, from the backstreets to Blackstreet.

Another thing... in my blackout-induced haze, I realized Brother Ali isn’t taking the steps necessary to get famous in the rap game. First off, he needs to get shot a few times. Last time I checked, you had to have at LEAST 24 bullet holes in your torso to deserve a major-label contract. And where’s the "dancin’ bitches"? I saw this special on MTV and it said you HAVE to have "dancin’ bitches" in your videos to win the game. Hear that Brother? And not having a Martha Stewart-produced track is the nail in the coffin; look, you can spend your time writing seamless albums if you want, but only a M-to-the-Stewart shout-out will land you in a limo with Luda or a sitcom with Ice-T. Then she’ll make guest appearances in your videos and maybe sign you to her vanity imprint. Then she'll get hella-jealous of you and have you rubbed out. Then she'll write a tribute song to your sorry, dead ass. Hey, it’s all about survival. Thought you knew that.

Brother Ali's Undisputed Truth is set for an April 10 release through Rhymesayers.

Look for jiggling flesh at the following tourdates:
04.10.07 - Duluth, MN - Pizza Luce
04.11.07 - Fargo, ND - House of Rock
04.12.07 - Mankato, MN - What's Up Lounge
04.13.07 - Iowa City, IA - Picador
04.14.07 - Omaha, NE - Sokol Underground
04.16.07 - Aspen, CO - Belly Up
04.17.07 - Boulder, CO - Fox Theatre
04.19.07 - Menomonie, WI - University of Wisconsin
04.20.07 - Madison, WI - High Noon Saloon
04.21.07 - Chicago, IL - Subterranean
04.22.07 - Bloomington, IN - Bluebird
04.23.07 - St. Louis, MO - Washington University
04.24.07 - Louisville, KY - Uncle Pleasants
04.25.07 - Ann Arbor, MI - Blind Pig
04.27.07 - Indio, CA - Coachella Festival
04.28.07 - Columbus, OH - Skully's Music Diner
04.29.07 - Cleveland, OH - Grog Shop
05.01.07 - Burlington, VT - Higher Ground Lounge
05.02.07 - Boston, MA - Middle East
05.03.07 - New York, NY - Knitting Factory
05.04.07 - Philadelphia, PA - The Church
05.05.07 - Baltimore, MD - Ottobar
05.06.07 - Charlottesville, VA - Starr Hill
05.08.07 - Carrboro, NC - Cats Cradle
05.09.07 - Wilmington, NC - Soapbox
05.10.07 - Mt Pleasant, SC - Village Tavern
05.11.07 - Orlando, FL - The Social
05.12.07 - Atlanta, GA - Drunken Unicorn
05.14.07 - Birmingham, AL - The Nick
05.15.07 - New Orleans, LA - Parish - HOB
05.16.07 - Austin, TX - Emos Lounge
05.17.07 - Albuquerque, NM - Launchpad
05.18.07 - Tucson, AZ - Club Congress
05.19.07 - Flagstaff, AZ - Orpheum
05.21.07 - Pomona, CA - Glasshouse
05.22.07 - San Diego, CA - Belly Up
05.23.07 - Los Angeles, CA - Troubadour
05.24.07 - San Luis Obispo, CA - Downtown Brew
05.25.07 - San Francisco, CA - Slims
05.26.07 - Reno, NV - New Oasis
05.29.07 - Eugene, OR - WOW Hall
05.30.07 - Portland, OR - Hawthorne Theatre
05.31.07 - Seattle, WA - Vera Project
06.01.07 - Bellingham, WA - Night Light
06.02.07 - Missoula, MT - The Loft
06.04.07 - Salt Lake City, UT - Urban Lounge
06.05.07 - Denver, CO - Bluebird Theatre
06.06.07 - Kansas City, KS - Record Bar
06.07.07 - Des Moines, IA - Vaudeville Mews
06.08.07 - Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue (Homecoming Show!)

Ween Play Jazzfest Concert Series in New Orleans, But Julia Sweeney’s “Pat” Character Won’t Be Joining

When you hear the words "jazz fest," you may associate it with "Rib Fest." Possibly the same thing sometimes, but you can't cancel out the odds of an unexpected amazing act to play one of these festivals. No, I'm not talking about Hootie and the Blowfish, Big Head Todd and the Monsters, or Spin Doctors. This year, Gene and Dean Ween (and the other guys) will be hitting up the 2007 "Superfly during Jazzfest" concert series in New Orleans provided by Superfly Productions. The events start from Saturday, April 28 through Saturday, May 5 at various New Orleans venues, including the Contemporary Arts Center and the Riverboat Cajun Queen. The "Superfly during Jazzfest" concert series started in 1997, and since then it has been the foundation for iconic national events like Bonnaroo Music, Arts Festival and Vegoose. Spanning ten days over several venues, this is one jazz fest that you probably should check out. You can get tickets by visiting www.superflypresents.com.

The Superfly at Jazzfest 2007 lineup is below:

Saturday, April 28

The Radiators

Riverboat Cajun Queen

Friday, May 4

Greyboy Allstars

Riverboat Cajun Queen

Friday, May 4


With the Dirty Dozen Brass Band
Contemporary Arts Center

Saturday, May 5

Gov¹t Mule / Dr. John¹s Night Tripper

Contemporary Arts Center

Saturday, May 5

North Mississippi Allstars

Riverboat Cajun Queen

Furthermore, this lousy TMT reporter believes that the reign of Ween will be returning sooner than you can shout Chocolate & Cheese. Since my predictions are usually 100% on, you better hurry and get your copy of Ween's film debut, It's Pat. Yeah, remember that androgynous character named Pat from early-90s Saturday Night Live, played by Julia Sweeney? If you remember that, you probably are already a fan and own a copy of the timeless classic that was an instant SNL-film-based-on-a-character bomb. When I first saw Pat rock out with Ween, I felt the rise of Ween in my jeans, and I knew someday they would have an even greater following. And I also knew they would play the "Superfly during Jazzfest" concert series on Friday, May 4 in 2007 with the Dirty Dozen Brass Band at the Contemporary Arts Center in New Orleans, LA. Is it really possible to foresee the future from watching SNL films? The answer is yes; stop being stupid.

Something Pat didn't know, aside from whether he or she had a winky or a twinky, was that Ween is currently readying their new album and prepping for a memorable set at Bonnaroo! According to their website, Ween are in the studio recording everyday at a rented farmhouse. You can check this message out and view pictures from the studio by going to this handy dandy link here.

No, I'm just kidding, I mean here.

Ween scheduled shows:
03.29.07 - Falls Church, VA - The State Theatre (Gene Ween solo show)
04.30.07 - Ashevillie, NC - The Thomas Wolfe Auditorium
05.01.07 - Birmingham, AL - Alabama Theatre
05.03.07 - Oxford, MS - The Library
05.04.07 - New Orleans, LA - Contemporary Arts Center
06.16.07 - Manchester, TN - Bonnaroo Festival

Blood Brothers Hack (Tour) Their Way Through the U.S. with Young Machetes; No One Is Safe!

The Blood Brothers scare me. They remind me of those kids in middle school who painted their fingernails black with permanent marker and then sniffed the markers a whole bunch and got detention for starting mosh pits in the hallway after becoming, uh, stimulated. To be fair, the Blood Brothers are much more fashionable than those kids were, in that they appear to stay far away from parachute pants.

The well-dressed (read: terrifying) Brothers are coming fresh off a tour of Europe, where I’m sure they learned lots of naughty new words. They’ll be spreading their newfound knowledge across the unsuspecting U.S. and Maple Syrup/Bears/ReasonableDrinkingAge Land in support of their new album, Young Machetes this month, so ready your virgin ears.

Or you know, go. If you’re BLOOD enough: