Pack Up Your Troubles in an Old Kit Bag and Tour, Tour, Tour; Hair Police Announce First Stateside Tour in Almost Two Years


3:00 PM on February 26 marked the NHL's trade deadline for the 2007/2008 season. For players dealt by their teams to others, it is the chance of a lifetime to angrily uproot their family, making sure their spouses are nervous newbies in the neighborhood and their kids are the picked-upon students at a new school, all in the hopes of perhaps making it past Round 1 in the post-season playoffs. While some significant trades had already been made prior to “deadline day,” most of the real action was on the 26th itself. The day started slowly, with scores of retired players stupidly standing around sports station studios looking at their blueberries every few seconds hoping to break a deal. As the deadline loomed ever so closely, trades began to flow like so much pre-game crude steroid mixtures, game-time blood and sweat, and post-game roofie cocktails at Skip ‘n’ Jacks Bar and Grill.

Obviously, there is nothing more we like doing than reporting non-music news on a music news site, so here are the biggest deadline day hockey moves according to TMT central dispatch. And because Canadians already have every deal memorized and Americans couldn't give a toss, we'll include news of a Hair Police tour too!.

Notable NHL Trade Deadline Moves, Tuesday, February 26

- Los Angeles Kings deal D Brad Stuart to Detroit Red Wings for a 2nd round pick in 2008 and a 4th round pick in 2009.

- San Jose Sharks acquire D Brian Campbell from Buffalo Sabres for RW Steve Bernier and a 1st round pick in 2008.

- Atlanta Thrashers RWs Marian Hossa and Pascal Dupuis traded to Pittsburgh Penguins for RW Colby Armstrong, C Erik Christensen, C Angelo Esposito, and a 2008 1st round pick.

- Three Legged Race, project of Hair Police/Burning Star Core member Robert Beatty, set to release new album, Living Order/Mourning Order, on Tone Filth.

- Hair Police announce "Our Minds Problems" North American tour. New album The Empty Quarter out now on Harbinger Sound, coming soon on LP via Troubleman Unlimited. As-yet untitled album forthcoming on No Fun Productions. West Coast dates expected in July and August

03.06.08 - Lexington, KY - Buster's $
03.07.08 - Pittsburgh, PA - The Roboto Project #
03.08.08 - New York, NY - Club Midway %
03.09.08 - New Haven, CT - BAR w/ Sickness
03.10.08 - Providence, RI - Cat's Riot Hall/Hilarious Attic @
03.11.08 - Amherst, MA - Hampshire College Red Barn ^
03.12.08 - Boston, MA - Piano Craft Guild !
03.13.08 - Montréal, Quebec - Zoobizarre *
03.14.08 - Toronto, Ontario - Sneaky Dee's &
03.15.08 - Ann Arbor, MI - Halfway Inn (

$ Handicapper Horns, Caboladies, Wretched Worst

# Mike Tamburo, Slices, Cock Scene Investigator

% Kites, Carlos Giffoni, Halflings

^ Mirror/Dash, Paul Flaherty/Noise Nomads, Mouthus/Axolotl

@ Kites, Mudboy, Mouthus/Axolotl

! Heathen Shame, Craniopagus

* Yomul Yuk, Thames

( Dead Machines, Hive Mind

& Gastric Female Reflex, Disguises, Fossils

- Tampa Bay Lightning ship C Brad Richards and G Johan Holmqvist to Dallas Stars for G Mike Smith, LW Jussi Jokinen, C Jeff Halpern, and a 4th round pick at the 2009 entry draft.

- Montréal Canadiens trade G Cristobal Huet to Washington Capitals for 2nd round 2008 pick.

Photo: The wonderful, awesome, and insane [Bill T Miller]

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