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Dirty Projectors Announce Fall Tour, “Rewrites” Black Flag’s Damaged From Memory; I Have No Input at All

I think my brain is malfunctioning this week. I've read the one sheet about the new album a few times in a row this week, but it's still not quite sinking in. You see, Dirty Projectors mastermind David Longstreth has "reimagined" Black Flag's Damaged in an attempt to "stage his own theft of the punk rock spirit." According to the press release:

From beginning to end, Dirty Projectors' new offering, Rise Above, is a reimagining of Black's Flag seminal 1981 record Damaged. It is not a covers record. Longstreth attempted to rewrite his favorite adolescent album word for word, from memory.

Am I missing something? Don't get me wrong. I like Dirty Ps. I like them a lot actually, but I just don't quite get it. Explain it to me, readers! Anyway, Rise Above comes out on Dead Oceans September 11. Members of Grizzly Bear were involved in the recording, or something, and uh... Dirty Ps will tour beginning in August...

Sorry, I have lost all interest in this article. My brain must be shutting down again.

Rise Above tracklisting:

Soft Machine Founder and Living Legend Kevin Ayers Returns with a Fanclub of Ladybugs from Helsinki

Many musicians try to make a go in this absurd industry, solely to savor that delicious power that comes with having someone on the payroll whose primary role is to pick the yellow M&Ms out of the rider bowl with their asscheeks or the satisfaction that comes with trying to break your groupie “hour plow” record nightly. Don’t get me wrong, we love hearing about it, but sometimes it makes us feel a whole lot hollow inside. A few folk have an altogether more refreshing slant on making music. Kevin Ayers, for example, seems to have it all figured out. After running ramshot over listeners’ expectations early in his career with a number of groundbreaking critic’s faves (Soft Machine, Wilde’s Flowers), he realized that it is decidedly better to fade away and rust rather than to burn. Ayers has spent the last few decades playing the nomad, jamming and recording with friends and admirers, and famously, never taking himself too seriously.

Celebrated among the unconventionals for his influential work with Daevid Allen and Robert Wyatt in Soft Machine for a right-smart spell, Ayers has more recently been rightfully given his dues by the wicker men and ladies fair of the psychedelic pastoral scene, mostly because his imaginative late-1960s/early-1970s solo albums, which have been revisited through the power of the reissue. As is increasingly the case, the piper has united with some of his rats to record a new album, due on LO-MAX Records September 3. The Unfairground, Ayers’ first album in 15-odd years, was recorded in pieces in New York, Tucson, Glasgow, and London by Gary Olson, Peter Henderson, and Ayers himself, and is chockablock with impressive collaborators. Here is the full supporting cast and songlist for the album:

Gary Olson (Ladybug Transistor), Jeff Baron (Ladybug Transistor), Heather McIntosh (Ladybug Transistor, etc.), San Fadyl (Ladybug Transistor), Joe McGinty (keyboard wizard, Baby Steps), Norman Blake (Teenage Fanclub), Francis MacDonald (Teenage Fanclub), Euros Childs (Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci), Bill Wells (UK avant-jazz great), Kellie Sutherland (Architecture in Helsinki), Tara Shackell (Architecture in Helsinki), Isobel Knowles (Architecture in Helsinki), Phil Manzanera (Roxy Music), Gus Franklin (Architecture in Helsinki), Frank Reader (Trashcan Sinatras), Robbie McIntosh (guitar hero), Candie Payne (Liverpool’s finest songbird), Robert Wyatt (Robert Wyatt), Hugh Hopper (Soft Machine), Graham Henderson (frequent Ayers sidekick), Julian Koster (Neutral Milk Hotel, etc.), Daisy Martey (Noonday Underground, Morcheeba), Bridget St. John (husky-voiced psych-folk legend), Dave McGowan (Isobel Campbell, Teenage Fanclub).

1. Wide Awake
2. Cold Shoulder
3. Walk on Water
4. Friends & Strangers
5. Brainstorm
6. Unfairground
7. Baby Come Home
8. Shine a Light
9. Run Run Run
10. Only Heaven Knows

In The Future, Indie Labels Will Be Sold on Craigslist to Young Girls Who Think Colin Meloy Is Cute

The year is 2007. The month is July. The future is bright. In this futuristic society that only exists in maybes and hyperboles, cars do not fly but baseball players hit homeruns like step-children, and shows are based on elevated reality.

One show, in particular, is Sweet Sixteen. This is shown on the futuristic channel called MTV. The idea behind MTV is to showcase music videos (hence the acronym). However, in this future society, the heads at MTV will rely on reality television. Sweet Sixteen will be a show that showcases whores in training (WITs) and their upcoming 16th birthday party. Since this is the future, the WITs are lavished with DJs, guest appearances by such stars as Lil’ Bow Wow, red carpet entrances, and parents who pretend they love them.

Parents will usually lavish their WITs with futuristic cars that have heated cup holders, flip-down DVD screens, and keg"eradors." However, I’m predicting one day there will come a time when some girl, some super-heavy-duty-extreme WIT will ask for an indie-rock record label. She will have eaten away her soul with episodes of The O.C. and Laguna Beach. She will have come to terms with bands such as Spoon and/or Modest Mouse and decide there is nothing more important to her existence than to own an indie-rock record label, for only then will she get to entertain the hearts of Adam Brody or Stephen Colletti.

Unfortunately, the future is now. And on the ever-so-hip want/buy/sell ad list known as Craigslist, there is an indie record label for sale. The asking price is 10,000 bones, and the label requests serious inquiries only. It promises contacts and existing relationships with national distributors, but it doesn't reveal exactly which label it is. We are assuming you have to contact the seller for that info.

Please take up this offer before some O.C. watching, flare jean-wearing, Hummer-driving WIT takes up the offer and ruins one of the last vestiges of the free world.

Thank you.

Mike Skinner Drops His Creative Trans, The Streets Eat Their Feet and Discreetly Stretch Street Date

In 5.... 4.... 3..........

...Hello again, everybody and welcome back to KTMT, where it's time once again for your KTMT "Traffic On The Tuesdays" Road Report, giving you an up-to-the-minute, real-time look at your drive-time travel day! Traffic this week is brought to you by... uh...byyyy... well, by Tiny Mix Tapes! Tiny Mix Tapes: "With a Name This Lame, We've Got To be Cool."

Now, without further obvious diversion, here's a look at your TMT Traffic Outlook for Tuesday, July 24, 2007! Vroom, vroom, commuters:

> I-19 Inbound is tied up from Rural Route 3 all the way into downtown with an accident blocking two of the three available northbound lanes; all in all, it looks like a 73-minute trip to the junction at 87th Street.

> Right now, it's 25 minutes from the William Henry Harrison Memorial Expressway at Lake Street out to the Riverside Toll Road, and if you're thinking about taking the bridge out to the suburbs, think again, as a stalled Transit Authority bus has brought all traffic to a standstill while workers hurry to clear the area. No word as of yet on exactly when the blockage is expected to be cleared.

> Lastly, the road to British MC Mike Skinner's new record as The Streets seems to be experiencing some massive delays due to a serious roadblock that has apparently halted neuron traffic in the fame-paranoid rapper's main creative throughfare. Preliminary reports from the KTMT Traffic-Copter cite a post on Skinner's MySpace as the source of problem, wherein the particulars of Skinner's skid-out are detailed, as is the statement that this new Streets record, the follow-up to 2006's The Hardest Way to Make an Easy Living, is now scheduled to be under construction until early 2008.

When we managed to pull Skinner away from his jackhammer for a moment and asked him to comment on all of this unscheduled Streets construction, the reluctant rapper replied "Making an album when you're quite well known is a bit stressful. I've had to accept this week that because my album isn't quite right yet it won't be coming out this year."

While fans of minimalist, storytelling, everyman nu-rap hoping to pick up the latest Streets disc may be miffed to find themselves stuck in traffic for quite a while, it seems to be Skinner himself who is experiencing the brunt of the road rage. "I think I've got the makings of a great record," the addled MC explained, "but I've been working so hard on it my head is spinning at the end of every day, and when I wake up each morning the first thing I feel is panic."

Thankfully, however, Skinner is trying his best not to drive angry while he navigates his way through the bottleneck. "I've decided to try to get some distance from it while we do this Scotland tour, Get Loaded (In The Park) and Ibiza. This also means I'll maintain my tidy pattern of releasing an album in 2002, 2004, 2006 and, now, 2008." No word yet as to exactly when all of the lanes will re-open in 2008, but The Streets are scheduled to play a handful of 'cross-the-pond shows throughout the summer, including the Ibiza Rocks festival August 6, which should at least keep European commuters mildly entertained while they wait out the nasty six-month trip to their nearest record store.

And now, Weather:
07.24.07 - Inverness, Scotland - Ironworks
07.25.07 - Aberdeen, Scotland - Moshulu
07.26.07 - Dundee, Scotland - Fat Sam's
07.27.07 - Edinburgh, Scotland - Liquid Room
07.28.07 - Glasgow, Scotland - ABC
08.04.07 - Odemira, UK - Sudoeste Festival
08.06.07 - Ibiza, Spain - Ibiza Rocks Festival
08.18.07 - Hasselt, UK - Pukkelpop Festival
08.25.07 - Coppersfield-Cardiff, Whales - Cardiff Calling-Coopers
08.26.07 - London, UK - Get Loaded in the Park 2007-Clapham Common

Government Issue Frontman John Stabb Assaulted; Benefits Being Planned

On July 17, John Stabb (of Government Issue) was assaulted a block from his home by five youths to the point of requiring "extensive" facial surgery and an indefinite hospital stay. As a result of mounting medical expenses, limited insurance benefits, and potential wage loss, a benefit campaign has been launched.

In addition to a potential auction, a concert benefit concert is in the planning stages. At press time, bands expressing interest in playing the concert (still in the speculation stages, mind you) include Against Me! and Connecticut hardcore veterans 76% Uncertain. Meanwhile, information on financial donations and updates on the situation can be found at this website.

Read Stabb's own account of the incident and receive updates on the situation here. Here's to a speedy recovery, John. "Rock and Roll Bullshit" is one of my all-time favorite songs.

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