FCC Chairman Kevin Martin announced last week his plan for saving the print newspaper.
Hang on. Back up.
See, there's this thing called the internet... you might even be using it RIGHT NOW. And newspapers, interestingly enough, have discovered this internet thingy and use it for video, audio, breaking news, and... what? You can do that on TV and on the radio too? What's that? You can do it all in one place if you use the internet? Gee!
But you know, FCC Chairman Martin is magic. So he's going to do this: lift the ban on media cross-ownership by a newspaper and allow them to own one radio station and one television station. Ha! Take that, internet! Read as he pulls on the heartstrings of The New York Times' Op-Ed section: "If we don’t act to improve the health of the newspaper industry, we will see newspapers wither and die. Without newspapers, we would be less informed about our communities and have fewer outlets for the expression of independent thinking and a diversity of viewpoints. The challenge is to restore the viability of newspapers while preserving the core values of a diversity of voices and a commitment to localism in the media marketplace."
Localism. You mean, back when radio stations didn't have syndicated DJs who can't even tell you the weather in the town in which you're listening? Wack. How did that happen? Oh, right. The Telecommunications Act of 1996.
Understandably, politicians are confused and just a li'l anxious about this decision. Energy and Commerce Committee Chairman John Dingell (D-MI) wrote a letter to the FCC saying: "Amending media ownership regulations, including a rule that has been on the books for more than three decades, is a grave matter that deserves the Commission's full and fair consideration." Hey, overturning 60-year-old precedents didn't hurt us a bit in 1996! Dude's trippin'. Silly Democrats.
And wouldn't know you it: my man Sen. Byron Dorgan (D-ND) also thinks this is all a little too Mother Teresa, saying Martin's actions are "relying on an assumption that newspapers are doomed and that cross-ownership is necessary to save them."
Me? I'll just be here hanging out on NYTimes.com for a little while. Soaking up some daily news from a website that has nothing to do with a newspaper. Nope. Those poor little newspapers. Someone should really do something about them.