Portishead are all “Cheerio luv, we’re touring North America for the first time in 11 years” and shit, but I guess that’s cool with me

Portishead are all "Cheerio luv, we're touring North America for the first time in 11 years" and shit, but I guess that's cool with me

The other day I’m in this record store. It’s a newish place with plenty of clean, web 2.0 straight lines, lots of light, not enough band stickers covering the counters yet, etc. Don’t get me wrong: I appreciate having another local store to visit and everyone there is friendly and cool, and they’re playing cool tunes and shit, but there’s something about the vibe of this place that’s just a little “off.” But I continue flipping through the vinyl (my turntable is busted right now, but… gotta flip through the vinyl, right?) hoping to find a cool little gem. So far there’s nothing and I’m kind of cruising on auto-pilot… but that’s when I get to the “P” section. I guess you can see where this story is going, huh?

By the way, the prices at this place are a little on the high side. Once again, I’m all about having this place in the neighborhood, but I just don’t think they’re going to last too terribly long. I feel like they are trying to appeal to some breed of yuppie hipster (“yupster,” I guess?) that, while interested in records, will undoubtedly lose that interest in 4-5 months or so because of how inauthentic and surface-level it is. Oh well. Anyway, to continue my story: so, I’m breezing through the “P” section. PA-… PE-… PH-… PI-… and there, sitting in the PO- section waiting for me (and only me), is the album I’ve been dying to own on vinyl for almost 20 years! It’s a used copy, and it’s pretty on-the-cheap compared to the other items, and I cannot believe my good luck! As many fans know, this particular band doesn’t exactly have a lot of records to its name, but the music that it did see fit to release into the world is pure, unadulterated genius. Their 90s stuff is some of the very best music ever made in my opinion, and I’ve wanted to own the self-titled on vinyl forever.

I immediately abandon my search and dash up to the under-stickered counter clutching my prize and thrust it at the clerk with my debit card. As he scans it, he flips it over and studies it with some vague longing, as if he too knows that this was the hidden treasure of the PO- section and he’s sad to see it finally go. Finally he looks up, hands the record over, and grins at me knowingly: “Big fan of Porno For Pyros, huh?”

Portishead North American dates:

07.15.11 - Meco, Portugal - Super Bock Super Rock Festival
07.23-24.11 - London, UK - I’ll Be Your Mirror Festival
10.01-02.11 - Asbury Park, NJ - I’ll Be Your Mirror Festival
10.04-05.11 - New York, NY - Hammerstein Ballroom
10.07.11 - Montreal, QC - Jaques Cartier Peir
10.09-10.11 - Toronto, ON - Sound Academy
10.12.11 - Chicago, IL - Aragon Ballroom
10.15.11 - Mexico City, Mexico - Corona Festival
10.18.11 - Los Angeles, CA - Shrine Auditorium
10.21.11 - Berkeley, CA - Greek Theatre
10.23.11 - Seattle, WA - WaMu Theater
10.24.11 - Vancouver, BC - PNE Forum
10.27.11 - Denver, CO - 1st Bank Center

• Portishead: http://www.portishead.co.uk
• Island: http://www.islandrecords.com

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