Portugal. The Man announce tour! Unfortunately, a deal with the devil is forcing them to open for Primus

Portugal. The Man announce tour! Unfortunately, a deal with the devil is forcing them to open for Primus

Portugal. The Man, who are currently on a massive European tour, recently signed a contract in blood that will provide the band fame and recognition far exceeding what they’ve already amassed but in greater quantities than vocalist and guitarist John Gourley could ever imagine.

“We just felt it was time to reach the big top,” Gourley (I think it was him) informed me in a phone interview. “So we got on the phone with our publicist and she said we could work out a great bargain with Lucifer as long as we were willing to make a deal. We discussed it as a band and we collectively decided that we would all be willing to put up with whatever the devil threw at us, as long as we eventually became the biggest band in the US.”

Unfortunately, what Beelzebub threw at the band just happened to be a round of gigs opening for Primus. At first, Portugal. The Man felt honored to play with the long-lasting, fan-favorite “alternative” band that first saw fame in the 90s, but once Gourley and crew took time to reexamine Primus’ catalog of music, they rediscovered that Primus is a piece of shit.

“They suck, they suck hard, and it’s gonna suck to be forced to play 11 shows with them, but what else can you do when you make a deal with the devil?” asked bassist Zachary Carothers, before taking Rhinoplasty out of his CD player and punching it repeatedly.

The gigs opening for Primus start on September 20 and will be a part of the “Oddity Faire 2010,” wherein Primus will assemble bands and oddities that forcefully convince festival-goers that the once-“weird” band is still “weird.” Once the Faire reaches its conclusion, Portugal. The Man will stay on the road for a headlining tour of North America.

In other news, Portugal. The Man are currently at work on their upcoming, untitled debut release for Approaching AIRballoons/Atlantic Records. The LP is scheduled for release in early 2011.

Portugal. The Man tourdates:

09.20.10 - Eagle, ID - Eagle Park Pavilion
09.21.10 - Central Point, OR - Lithia Motors Amphitheater
09.22.10 - Portland, OR - Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall
09.24.10 - Seattle, WA - WaMu Theater @ Qwest Field Events Center
09.25.10 - Vancouver, BC - PNE Forum
09.27.10 - Edmonton, AB - Edmonton Events Centre
09.28.10 - Calgary, AB - MacEwan Ballroom @ University of Calgary
10.30.10 - Winnipeg, MB - Burton Cummings Theatre
10.01.10 - Minneapolis, MN - Orpheum Theatre
10.02.10 - Chicago, IL - Congress Theatre
10.03.10 - Detroit, M - Fillmore Detroit
10.05.10 - Urbana, IL - The Canopy Club
10.06.10 - Columbia, MO - Forrest Rose Park @ Mojo’s
10.07.10 - Fayetteville, AR - George’s Majestic Lounge
10.08.10 - Fort Worth, TX - Aardvark
10.10.10 - Austin, TX - Austin City Limits Festival @ Zilker Park
10.11.10 - Houston, TX - Fitzgerald’s
10.12.10 - New Orleans, LA - One Eyed Jacks
10.14.10 - Birmingham, AL - WorkPlay Soundstage
10.15.10 - Athens, GA - 40 Watt Club
10.16.10 - Asheville, NC - The Orange Peel
10.17.10 - Nashville, TN - Mercy Lounge
10.20.10 - Lawrence, KS - The Bottleneck
10.21.10 - Omaha, NE - The Waiting Room
10.22.10 - Boulder, CO - Fox Theatre
10.23.10 - Boulder, CO - Fox Theatre
10.28.10 - Tempe, AZ - The Clubhouse
10.29.10 - San Diego, CA - House of Blues
10.30.10 - Los Angeles, CA - El Rey Theater

• Portugal. The Man: http://portugaltheman.com
• Approaching AIRballoons: http://myspace.com/theapproachingairballoons

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