Okay everybody. I guess the terrorists have finally won, because the U.S. Postal Service is currently making it extremely difficult for music recordist/instrumentalist/band leader/temperamental curmudgeon Steve Albini and his considerably less descriptor-laden wife, Heather Whinna, to carry out their annual holiday Christmas gift drive, through which the two have doled out over $100,000 worth of presents each year to poor Chicagoland families over the past decade (presumably those present aren’t just Shellac and Big Black records, either).
Here’s how it usually goes down. Funds are raised each year through the Second City Theater's annual benefit (which has featured past performances from the likes of Jeff Tweedy, The Breeders, and Shellac). Albini and Whinna then spend time painstakingly perusing the mountain-loads of heartbreakingly adorable and piteous “letters-to-santa” that are sent to the post office each year asking for a (cue the tearjerker, here:) “Christmas Miracle” to help them through difficult times! Aaaaaaargh! The couple then surprises the neediest of those families by showing up on their doorstep on December 25, bearing gifts like a couple of converted Ebenezer Scrooges! Isn’t that just amazing? Take a few notes, Ty Pennington.
But now, as the Chicago Tribune recently reported, thanks to a policy change by the U.S. Postal Service, Albini and Whinna are running into some trouble with their schooling all of us in Altruism Class. See, the Postal Service is no longer allowing access to the names and contact info of people who send Letters to Santa, citing increasing security and privacy issues. This, of course, makes it much more difficult for potential donors like the Albini-Whinna clan to reach families in need. Sending gifts to needy families is still allowed, but they must be sent the mail, rather than delivered in person. But, as Whinna told the Tribune, "The idea of mailing a gift [...] almost makes me think the postmaster general has never been to a housing complex. If there's no human contact, it will kill the program."
Come on now, USPS. There’s got to be some way to work this out? Don’t get all Jacob Marley on us, here. The last thing you want after an entire career hitting the streets and delivering mail is to have to trudge around for all eternity in those dowdy uniforms.
