Prince to Wal-Mart: “Fuck You, I’m a Target Man!”

By Scott Lauer on 03-06-2009

President Obama has nominated lawyer/techie Julius Genachowski as FCC Chief this past Tuesday, March 3rd. Genachowski was a fellow Harvard Law classmate, and perhaps former beer pong partner, of President Obama and served as Obama’s lead tech advisor during the campaign.

Genachowski's nomination has made supporters of net neutrality quite pleased, and there are high hopes for telecoms to get the smack down laid upon them as to what they can and cannot do. Thus, those big wigs at Comcast (TMT News) may be a little grumpy, as it would seem that the nomination of Genachowski might hinder their dream of a world where peers are throttled to dial-up speeds on their transfers.

Gigi Sohn, president of net neutrality organization Public Knowledge, seems pretty stoked about the nomination. "As the architect of President-elect Obama’s Technology and Innovation Plan, it is clear that he understands the importance of open networks and a regulatory environment that promotes innovation and competition to a robust democracy and a health economy."

Of course, senior ranks in the much more powerful Justice Department are being filled by pro-copyright lawyers, so things are sorta up in the air -- but once the Senate confirms Genachowski, the sun might start to shine at least a little brighter on the internet.

By David Nadelle on 03-05-2009

April Fool’s Day: a time for merry pranksters to wreak havoc on unsuspecting targets using such simpleton tricks like placing plastic wrap under a toilet seat or black paint on a telephone’s earpiece and proving that the main requirement to executing a flawless April Fool’s joke is having hands. Hell, even we pulled a fast one a couple of years ago, much to the delight of all who read it then angrily wrote about it on their blahgs like a bunch of suckhole babies when it was revealed a prank. Yes, good fun can be had on April 1, but the day can be a cruel mistress -- one minute you could be laughing uncontrollably at a friend chewing on dirt flavored gum, the next it could be you who is the April Fool, lying naked in a pool of asbestos fiber with your buttocks duct-taped together.

Why not avoid this possibility and load up your IROC-Z with cases of Rockstar, change your road music (I suggest “Easy Lover” by Phil Collins and Phillip Bailey... that CD, even when dangling from your rearview mirror as an ornament, just eats up the open road!) and head to a little place people refer to as “the nation’s neckfold” on April 1 for a music festival! Years from now, when you are warming your hands over a flaming oil drum beside your cardboard shantytown under a concrete overpass, you don’t want to admit that you passed on the opportunity to see The Mountain Goats, Beach House, No Age, and The Wu-Tang Clan’s resident Genius, GZA, all of whom will be playing the Mission Creek Festival in Iowa City!

Yes, Iowa City (never once referred to as “the nation’s neckfold”) knows how good it’s got it, and from April 1-4 it will host and boast during a celebration of its cultural prowess with an impressive lineup of musical and literary acts. I pity the fool who dismisses this latest confirmed Mission Creek music lineup, which unlike clock radio speakers, is anything but weak:

GZA/Genius (performing Liquid Swords), The Mountain Goats, Beach House, No Age, John Vanderslice, Fruit Bats, Headlights, Bowerbirds, The Tallest Man on Earth, Simon Joyner, Diplomats of Solid Sound, El Paso Hot Button, These United States, Caleb Engstrom, Porno Galactica, Fulton Lights, Golden Birds, Anavan, Cartright, Pieta Brown, The Hood Internet, The Western Front, Escape the Floodwater Jug Band, Roommate, The Brown Note, Birth Rites, Mannix!, School of Flyentology, Joe Pug, Ill Ease, The Pack A.D., David Zollo and The Body Electric, The Gglitch, Shame Train, Dead Larry, and Petit Mal.

Writers are just like musicians, except without music or personalities. Hey, I’m talking about myself only here! My deficiencies aside, nothing should not dissuade you from catching some REAL lit heroes at Mission Creek, who are all wonderful and charismatic and talented: Edmund White, Charlie D’Ambrosio, Steven Kuusisto, Andrew Milward, Mark Leidner, Steve Hanson, and folks representing Forklift: Ohio, whose publication subtitle is “A Journal of Poetry, Cooking & Light Industrial Safety.” See? I told you there are going to be good times had by all!