England’s ridiculously massive Glatonbury Festival starts tonight at Worthy Farm in Pilton (TMT News). Across 3,000 stages (Pyramid, Other Stage, West Holts, John Peel, The Park, Acoustic, Avalon Stage, G Stage, East Dance, Oxlyers In West, Wow!, Leftfield, Spirit Of 71, Circus Big Top, The Hub, Arcadia, Astro Dome Workshops, Astrolabe, Avalon Café, Bandstand, Bassline Circus, BBC Introducing, Beat Hotel, Bez’s Acid House, Bourbon Street, Bridgwater Reggae Soundystem Cabaret Tent, Campo Pequeno, Chai Wallahs, Club Dada, Croissant Neuf, Cubana Salsa Tent, Cubehenge, Cubehenge Hed’s Party, East Dance Hed’s Party, El Penol Cantina, Free University of Glastonbury, Glade Lounge, Greenpeace Stage, Magic Bubbles, Mandala Stage, NYC Downlow, Pilton Palais Cinema Tent, Poetry and Words, Porn Kiosk Daytime, Pussy Parlure, Sharkeys, Small World Stage, Spirit of 71 Café, Speakers Forum, Stonebridge Bar, Tadpole Stage, The Downlow Radio, The London Underground, The Meeting Point Bar, The Rabbit Hole, The West Holts Bar, Tripod Stage, Vogue Fabrics) and with over 15 million artists (from James Blake and Flogging Molly to Omar Souleyman and Caitlin Rose, TV On The Radio and Deacon Blue to the Wu-Tang Clan and Hobo Jones & The Junkyard Dogs, Lee Scratch Perry and Danny & The Champions of the World to Kitty to Big Boi and Daisy & Lewis, Kool & The Gang and Noah and the Whale to Hercules And Love Affair and Jah Wobble & the Nippon Dub Ensemble, etc.), we at TMT are so insanely jealous that we can’t be there cuddling up with lucky festival goers at this sure-to-be intimate affair.
AND SHIT JUST GOT MORE INTIMATE. NME has just confirmed that The Park stage’s “Special Guest” tonight is none other than Radiohead, a.k.a. the “Oxford quintet.” As Morrissey described them years ago, “I don’t know why they don’t just call themselves The Edgar Broughton Band and get it over with.” It’s perhaps with this quote in mind that Radiohead will be performing at the exact same time that Morrissey will be performing, now to a crowd of 12 or so, on the Pyarmid stage. In fact, Radiohead’s set will surely effect the audience size of all the other bands performing at that time, including Mumford & Sons (Other Stage), Fleet Foxes (Other Stage), Chase and Status (West Holts), Dr Jimmy Cliff (West Holts), Example (John Peel), The Coral (John Peel), Raul Malo from The Mavericks (Acoustic), Eric Bibb (Acoustic), KT Tunstall (Avalon), Robert Babicz (G Stage), Ke$ha (East Dance), James Holden (Oxlyers in West), Greg Wilson (Wow!), The Crazy World of Arthur Brown (Spirit of 71), and many more (seriously). On the bright side, you’ve probably already seen Radiohead live, and if our assumptions are correct, seeing Ke$ha in a festival setting is second to none. You know what to do.
Tickets are long sold out, so if none of the 15 million artists performing had already convinced you to purchase tickets, then you’re kinda screwed. But hey, tickets for Glastonbury 2013 (FYI: there won’t be a 2012 fest) are already on sale. Buy now!!
• Glastonbury: http://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk