Radiohead’s Phil Selway Lies Flat Against the Opening of Your Vagina, Plans to Record Album

First, Jonny Greenwood releases the soundtrack to 2003's Bodysong, then Thom releases The Eraser in 2006, and now Phil Selway, the baldest drummer of all-time, is rumored to be working on an album later this year.

According to At Ease, folk producer/musician John McCusker told The Scotsman that he's going to produce Selway's album later this year. And... um... that's about all I have. Questions anyone?

Audience: Is it a collabo? Is it going to be a folk album? Does that mean Radiohead will be done with a new album before Phil works on this project? How will I know if the female condom is inserted properly in my vagina?

Calm down, people. You'll find the answers to these questions someday in your lifetime. You just gotta believe in yourself. Oh, and the female condom is inserted properly when the inner ring's pushed against your cervix and the outer ring lies flat against the opening of your vagina. The cervix prevents the condom from going any further, so no worries there.