Okay, stop me if you think you heard this one before. Some company that not a single person outside of a Texas courthouse has heard of sues a Very Important Company for infringing a patent that just happens to involve a Very Popular Technology that everyone uses. You heard of it? The same story, a thousand times before? Well, guess what? I don’t care! It’s time for another round of Patent Trolling!
Tonight on Patent Trolling, hosted by yours truly (filling in for Nat Towsen, who is busy hosting an actual show), our contestant is a complete newbie to the Patent Trolling scene. So new, they don’t even have a website! Please welcome, Tranz-Send Broadcasting Network! [Applause, someone screams “Nice Z!”]
Tranz-Send comes from… actually, we don’t know where they come from. Anyway, they are apparently in the business of internet streaming, where they “provide complete Internet broadcast technologies and services” to home and business customers, including “seismic data.” Fancy that! [Laughter]
Now, before we begin, the question is: “Troll or No?” And according to the one company profile we were able to find, Tranz-Send apparently offers its services through “licensing to partners.” And remember, the third sign of a troll is that their form of business is “licensing!” So we have a troll! [Applause]
So let’s find out what Tranz-Send’s target is today! Meet the company responsible for pissing off the movie and music industries for displaying how shallow and faulty their businesses are, and whose services everyone on this site has used. Say hello to BitTorrent! [Roaring applause, someone screams “BitTorrrrrennnt!” like a madman]
Tranz-Send claims that BitTorrent is infringing on Patent #7,301,944, or the ‘944 for short. The patent calls for “Media File Distribution With Adaptive Transmission Protocols.” Basically, the patent describes every file-sharing protocol as though it were suddenly divined on this… (what’s his name?)… Scott D. Redmond in 1999. Uncanny! [Gasps]
However, it seems like Tranz-Send already performed a foul! [Trombone plays, booing] Instead of suing in the Eastern District Court of Texas, where the patent trolls party, Tranz-Send decided to sue in BitTorrent’s home field of the Northern District Court of California. So it will take this company real audacity and cunning to not have this case laughed out of court! Sorry, Tranz-Send! However, as a consolation prize, we offer Tranz-Send a portion of the Beatles copyrights, now on sale at Citibank and EMI! [Wild applause]
Anyway, it’s time to go, so join us next time on Patent Trolling, when someone tries to sue Apple. Again. See you next time! [Applause, credits roll, production company logo shows for two seconds, cut to T-Mobile commercial]