RCA Records closes its Jive, Arista, and J Records subsidiaries. Next week’s headline? “RCA Records closes.”

RCA Records closes its Jive, Arista, and J Records subsidiaries. Next week's headline? "RCA Records closes."

So, I was reading The Hollywood Reporter this morning like I do all the time, and I damn near spat out my Waffle Crisp cereal when I read that RCA Records just shut down three of its well-known subsidiaries: Jive Records, Arista Records, and J Records. And let me tell you, I don’t expel Waffle Crisp from my mouth lightly. I fucking LOVE that cereal. Anyway, in a recent interview with me, RCA President Tom Corson stated that he also loved Waffle Crisp. Then, after we high-fived about that, he quickly explained that “the path we’ve taken is to refresh RCA, so we’re going to retire those brands” and that “there may be a reason down the line to bring them back, but it’s a clean slate here” and blah blah blah. Then we went back to talking about Waffle Crisp.

As I’m sure everyone here knows, Jive Records was originally founded in 1977 and served as one of the first hot spots for the nascent hip-hop genre. In fact, their roster at that time is a litany of badass-ocity, including artists like A Tribe Called Quest, KRS-One, R. Kelly, and DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince. Damn, what went wrong, Jive?! (Oh, that’s right, T-Pain.) Arista and J Records, meanwhile, were both founded by legendary industry big-wig Clive “Prescription Sunglasses” Davis. Arista was originally launched in 1974 and housed middling artists like Whitney Houston, Jennifer Hudson, Barry Manilow, and Carlos Santana until they finally made their mark by signing Nerf Herder in the 90s. J Records wasn’t founded until 2000, so you know, fuck writing any more about that one. Anyway, don’t worry, the artists represented by these three labels will now be under the RCA umbrella. And RCA isn’t going anywhere. For like a year. Maybe six months. Three to six, for sure.

• RCA Music Group: http://www.rcamusicgroup.com
• Nerf Herder: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UTNqlwttmg

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