RIAA: Spies in My Window, Hoes In My Room

The RIAA, fresh off its last lawsuit against the Lost Boys of Sudan, is finally tossing in the do-rag for Atlantic v. Andersen, the case against a disabled single mother from Oregon who lives with her nine-year-old daughter. Originally sued in 2005, Tanya Andersen was accused of downloading and sharing terminally phat beats through Kazaa, including Ludacris' anthem for all single mothers, "Hoes in My Room." Though Andersen denied the claim and further investigation dredged up no evidence, the RIAA charged forward for the next few years.

In October 2005, Andersen filed a countersuit, accusing the RIAA of fraud, racketeering, deception, and generally lambasting every other aspect of their pants-dropping agenda. An expert in forensics was called in by the RIAA to run tests on her lies, but the expert failed to find "any evidence whatsoever" that Andersen had even used file-sharing software, let alone sold her nine-year-old through Soulseek for a couple Quaaludes.

The case had been slowly coagulating until earlier this month, when both parties decided to dismiss it. The nice part of this story is that they dismissed the case with prejudice, which not only means that they both dislike Filipinos, but also that Andersen can now attempt to recover attorney fees. The RIAA's usual card-up-the-sleeve for a messy lawsuit is the ol' dismissal sans prejudice, which drops everything neatly, leaving the non-pirate destitute loaded with bills from the made-up lawsuit. With a dash of prejudice in the mix, Andersen could potentially win the attorneys' fee award, which is way better than getting into your high school's National Honor Society. She also plans on maintaining her counterclaim, buying chocolate milk at the store for her daughter and catching up on the last couple seasons of The Sopranos.

Holla to Andrew S for the tip!