SanDisk Releases Music on SD Card, Intended For Those Who Still Don’t “Understand” the Information Super Highway – Also, For Idiots

SanDisk, the world's second-best company at selling portable audio players, has just announced a new music format -- music on SD Cards -- intended to compete with Compact Discs. For the younger crowd, the Compact Disc was created in the mid-’80s to facilitate the technological leap from analog to digital recordings. Compact Discs (or CDs, as they were known) were sold in plastic receptacles called jewel cases, which also contained artwork, liner notes, and occasional bonus content (such as videos). As technology plodded along, the CD was rendered obsolete by digital distribution services such as Napster, Morpheus, AudioGalaxy, and OiNK.

It warrants a fair amount of suspicion why SanDisk would choose the third quarter of 2008 to release "slotMusic," a music format whose direct competitor has already begun their liquidation sale -- but stranger things have been successful (fuck you, Gwar). There are rumors circulating that SanDisk's fearless leader lost a bet to his infant daughter over the exact time of poopy, but there also exists the slim possibility that SanDisk actually believes there is a market for a new physical format in a landscape that has increasingly shown waning interest in physical media as a whole. Like, you know, cuz it's on a tiny SD Card instead of a big CD, and shit.

Regardless of baseless speculation, SanDisk will go ahead with slotMusic in the upcoming months, hoping to covet the lucrative granny-owning-blackberries demographic with an initial run of 30 hot new albums from Akon, Chris Brown, Ne-Yo, Rihanna, Robin Thicke, Weezer, Usher, Leona Lewis, and other major label-owned musicians. All the music sold in the slotMusic format, which has a 1GB capacity, will be 320 kbps DRM-free MP3s and will also include album artwork, liner notes, and occasional bonus content (such as videos). The cost is estimated between $7 and $15 and will be sold in major retail locations, such as Best Buy and Wal-Mart. They will probably be found next to the CDs.

Mogwai’s Martin Bulloch Hospitalized, Tour Canceled

Awwww, holy fuck buttons. Martin Bulloch, Mogwai's rhythmic force, was rushed to the hospital shortly after the group's ATP performance this
past weekend due to complications from a recent pacemaker surgery. Bulloch recently had a new pacemaker put in, and, of course, the rest of the guys decided to auction off the old one on eBay (it has since been removed from eBay). Unfortunately, the new pacemaker isn't working as planned and was alluded to as the catalyst for Martin's trip to the hospital.

The official statement from Martin, via Mogwai's site:

I was taken into hospital last night almost immediately after the show at ATP. I've been having some problems with my pacemaker for the duration of the tour and it unfortunately culminated in me being sent to the emergency room. The doctors there initially thought i would have to have corrective surgery at a larger hospital nearer NYC but i have been given the all clear to travel home on the understanding that
i go straight to my cardiologist on arrival back in Scotland.

Consequently, Mogwai have decided to pack it up and return to Scotland, with all North American dates canceled (their European tour starting October 21 is still up in the air). Considering Martin and the rest of the band's warm and jolly nature, I hate to hear news like this, and we at Tiny Mix Tapes wish Martin a speedy recovery.

To tide you over, check out our interview with Stuart Braithwaite here, and be on the lookout for The Hawk is Howling (TMT Review), which drops tomorrow. The album will provide the scalp-scalding tide-me-over until Mogwai return to fuck up a town near you.

From an article by The New York Times:

Mauricio Kagel, an avant-garde composer whose often absurdist works blurred the boundaries between music, theater and film, died on Wednesday in Cologne, Germany. He was 76. [...]

By temperament a dadaist and provocateur, Mr. Kagel drew on the musical examples of composers like John Cage and Karlheinz Stockhausen. In “Anagrama,” a work from the 1950s, singers and instrumentalists were called on to emit notes, squeaks, whispers and shouts corresponding to an elaborate system derived from the letters in a Latin palindrome.

- Mauricio Kagel Wikipedia entry
- Mauricio Kagel site by Björn Heile
- YouTube video: Mauricio Kagel- "siegfriedp"
- YouTube video: Mauricio Kagel: "Der Eid des Hippokrates" (1984)

McDonald’s Offers Zune Users Free Wi-Fi; Wow, So Cool

Finally, one location that offers both free wi-fi and happy meal toys courtesy of that young girl from that foreign country! Indeed, readers, McDonald's is giving away free wi-fi by the bushels, specifically to users of Microsoft's MP3 player, Zune. McDonald's serves nearly 47 million customers daily at over 31,000+ stores worldwide, and roughly 9,800 locations are set to promote the free (and slow) wi-fi deal. Damn, that's a lot of participating stores -- over 30%, in fact!

But despite this surprisingly large amount of locations offering FREE wi-fi to ZUNE users, there's one major flaw in McDonald's' logic: no one uses the Zune.

Jaguar Love Announce North American Tour with Japanese Band Polysics — Polysics Announce One Bad Idea After Another and Probably Make Jaguar Love Regret Associating Themselves with Such a Clueless Group of Musicians

Johnny Whitney was in The Blood Brothers. He is now in Jaguar Love. He runs a clothing company that specializes in “edgy” screen-printed apparel. Japanese people love tacky screen-printed crap. Polysics are Japanese. Polysics are touring with Jaguar Love. With a just little bit of deductive reasoning and offensive stereotypes, the upcoming Jaguar Love and Polysics tour begins to make more sense.

Jaguar Love, comprised of ex-Blood Brothers Johnny Whitney and Cody Votolato and ex-Pretty Girls Make Graves member Jay Clark, are touring North America on behalf of their debut LP Take Me To The Sea (TMT Review), released last month on Matador Records, and their eponymous EP released in June, both to generally positive reviews. And you should go see them because their lead singer’s vocals are usually compared to acts of torture and animal cruelty.

But what to do with Polysics? The Japanese band is co-headlining the majority of the dates with Jaguar Love, and the members have wasted no time announcing a veritable cavalcade of idiotic ideas on their MySpace in preparation for said tour. Speaking of MySpace, the nu-ravers (it just seems as if they would spell it that way -- you know, because they suck) are releasing their new album We Ate The Machine on the most hallowed of labels, MySpace Records, on September 30, and they are also doing some confusing digital discount thing, but I guess you can just check their MySpace for details, if you’re really that interested.

I, on the other hand, would prefer to simply make fun of them. Or just let founding Polysics member Hiroyuki Hayashi do it for me, in what was supposed to be a promotional release for the group. Here is “Hiro” on his love of Devo and a little lesson on how to be punk — not, like, putting-product-in-one’s-hair punk, but real punk rock, Polysics-style:

I thought it was so much more punk than just acting like a gang by greasing one’s hair. I was so impressed, and I thought, ‘I want to do new wave punk dressed in a jumpsuit like Devo!’

Finally! Kids these days need to be schooled on what it truly means to be punk, like a MySpace campaign to plaster their logo on various public spaces. So, head over to the public library and get to printin’, cause Polysics are playing at the Roxy in Los Angeles October 18 and The Casbah in San Diego the following night.

Jaguar Love tourdates:

* Polysics

# Nine Inch Nails, Stone Temple Pilots, The Flaming Lips, The Kooks

The Ruby Suns Announce Tourdates From Now Until Eternity, Hope D’Addario Strings Last Long Enough

Readers, let us pause together and take a gander at The Ruby Suns’ MySpace profile. You'll notice under their “Influences” section a picture of Bruce Willis from his role in Die Hard juxtaposed with an image of Thin Mints Girl Scouts cookies. Scroll just a bit further down and under the “Sounds Like” section, you’ll see a picture of an odd-looking burrito instead of a list of bands or genres that The Ruby Suns emulate. Either they really like food, or these New Zealanders have a great sense of humor. It's probably the latter, though, since their MySpace headline reads: “It’s Only Music!” It’s definitely refreshing to see an up-and-coming band that doesn’t let the blog hype inflate their egos.

On a different note, I’m currently watching some late-night TV as I type this story, and a Microsoft Windows Vista commercial just came on with none other than The Ruby Suns’ “Oh, Mojave” playing in the background. Hmm, it may be “only music” to the Suns, but it's music that pays the bills for all the jet-setting they’ll be doing the rest of this year.

Oh, Bill Gates:

& The Dodos