So, at the TMT meeting today, Mr P's all like... "Hey newswriters: Let's headline with Shellac tomorrow. I've got some EXCLUSIVE info!" Seems fair enough, right? WRONG, and I'll tell you why. For the last hour, no, two hours, I've been busting my chops — non-paid, mind you — trying to uncover some juicy tidbits to add to the teeny-weeny, itty-bitty, wittle TMT exclusive, of which Mr P is so proud. But guess what? There isn't any more info to report.
See, the problem is that Mr P said this Shellac news can only be a headliner if I'm "able to flesh out this story." WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN ANYWAY? FLESH OUT THE STORY?? Oh, oh, how about this, fucking asshole?? How's that for some fleshing out? Hell, I even tried e-mailing the awesome Touch & Go publicists, but they said they don't have any more info than what P already has. Pshh!!! This is ridiculous.
Well, suck-me-balls, I'm on paragraph three, and I still haven't even told you the news. Hope you're happy P. You have three paragraphs of total bullshit. And, of course, you're going to publish this because you publish ANYTHING. Yeah, go ahead and call it "experimental journalism." FUCK YOU.
Whatever. Here's Mr P's precious exclusive:
Shellac is releasing a new full-length LP in early 2007 called Excellent Italian Greyhound, named after drummer Todd Trainer's dog.
There, are you happy? Who knew P cared more about headlining with exclusive stories than his loyal newswriters. And no, I'm not acting like this just because you were "too tired" last night. Fucking prude.
Photo: ATP webcast