Skaters Branch Out into Europe, Interactive Family Entertainment

In an unlikely move, perhaps inspired by the antics of their undoubted hero Tony Hawk, I’m delighted to report that those voice-manipulating scoundrels Skaters have gone ahead and produced a video game of their own! I’m lucky enough to have a copy, and you square-eyed shitheels have definitely never played NO game like this before.

First of all, you’ve got to kneel down to play. It’s super-important, though, that you face away from the TV when kneeling, to get the full "you are The Skaters and you are playing LIVE in front of 16 people" experience. First step before you play is to attach some included sensor thingies to your head, and instead of using your bog-standard controller, you are given an analog box with a shitload of knobs. You have no idea what the individual knobs do prior to playing, which of course mirrors The Skaters’ own approach to their equipment. Then the fun begins! As you start the game, you stoop forward on your knees and, perfectly rhythmically, bob your head up and down. Then, you start groaning looong and loooouuud into a three-dollar mic (also included with the game), all the while furiously twiddling the aforementioned knobs back and forth. The object of the game, of course, is to produce drones which are as impenetrably murky and twisted as you can manage, whilst maintaining a diligent and forceful regimen of head-nodding. I found doing the two things at once rather difficult, but man, it was so KILLER trying! Naturally, turning around to look at the TV screen at any point will be picked up by the head sensors and results in the immediate end of the game.

The game is being produced by Fag Games, is only available for the Atari Jaguar system, and is limited to a single pressing of 57 hand-numbered and spray-painted copies. As a bonus, if you live in the Ypsilanti area, John Olsen’ll come round and custom spray-paint your game console for you, if your parents will let him in. Unfortunately -- you knew this was coming, diddentcha? -- the game is pretty much sold out right now. But hope remains for you Skaters-lovin’ dudes over in old Europa town. You might be able to pick up a copy on their EUROPEAN TOUR which starts today! Just saunter on up to the merch desk and ask those dudes if they have any copies of the game left.

Complete walkthrough:
06.15.07 - London, UK - Whitechapel Art Gallery
06.16.07 - Leeds, UK - Holy Trinity Church (w/Sunroof!)
06.17.07 - Nottingham, UK - Rose Of England
06.18.07 - Sheffield, UK - Red House
06.22.07 - Brussels, Belgium - Bunker
06.23.07 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - OCII
06.24.07 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - VPRO radio show
06.25.07 - Den Haag, Netherlands - Helbaard
06.26.07 - Paris, France - Instants Chavires (w/Taurpis Tula)
06.27.07 - Bordeaux, France - La Centralle
06.28.07 - Bilbao, Spain - Openmem
06.30.07 - Lisbon, Portugal - Galeria Zé dos Bois (w/Taurpis Tula)
07.01.07 - Lisbon, Portugal - Galeria Zé dos Bois

All dates also with Tight Meat Duo and Heather Leigh