South Korea’s Answer to Failing Banks, Collapsing Economies and Legions of Unemployed: A Government Bailout for Korean Popstars!

It’s been tough for the superstars of South Korean pop music recently. Thanks to declining CD sales, online piracy, and a global recession, these poor souls have had to cut back on their luxury houses, fancy parties, and bribing television producers for guaranteed TV appearances. Fortunately, the South Korean government has taken the vital step of awarding their music industry $91 million to secure the next generation of Gods (Groove OverDose), Wonder Girls, and Shinhwas.

Amongst the plans are to create a Korean version of the U.S. Billboard charts and a Grammy-style ceremony to increase the profile of “K-pop.” Not only will this create essential jobs for hard-working, downtrodden music journalists and television presenters, but the proposals will encourage greater spending on pop-related products, such as hair-gel and luxury clothes, in these modest times.

Two new concert venues will be built in Seoul with 4,000 seats total, and a K-pop culture center with a 3,000-capacity concert hall is also planned for construction in Goyang City. While Obama intends to get Americans working on infrastructure projects such as roads, bridges, and green technologies, the South Koreans realize the only way you’re going to get people out of bed in the morning is to get them assembling places of worship for their future idols.

Politicians should be ashamed of themselves for failing to give cash to the likes of American Idol, Billboard magazine, and the Grammys. The future prosperity of the Justin Timberlakes and Kelly Clarksons of this world are fundamental to securing our economic future.

Most Read



Etc.