Take heed, Comedy Central-watching hippies! In the ultimate demonstration of his staunch political conservatism, Stephen Colbert has decided to hunt down some of the most liberal minds in independent rock and (possibly) blow them up with a bunch of missiles. As Billboard reports, the pundit recently took some time out from eating another bald eagle egg omelet to announce "StePhest Colbchella '012: RocktAugustFest," a fiendish plan (disguised as a hipper than hip concert event) that he plans to execute on August 10 aboard New York's Intrepid Sea Air and Space Museum. Viewers may recall that, last year, this madman went on a similar murderous conquest with "StePhest Colbchella `011: Rock You Like a Thirst-Icane." All of the artists corralled into that one must have ended up dead, because I can't remember (and can't be bothered to look up) a single one of them; but I do know that this year’s list is pretty top of the mark: Flaming Lips, Santigold, Grandmaster Flash, Grizzly Bear, and fun. I’d like to see even Wayne Coyne charm his way out of this one!
The performances/bloodbaths and Colbert’s interviews with/interrogations of each act will subsequently air on The Report during the week of August 13, sadistically subjecting any jobless losers haplessly watching Comedy Central at the time to the shock-and-awe execution of some possible musical heroes. And while there’s certainly nothing we can do to stop him from carrying out his nefarious plan at this point, we at TMT want to suggest that you pop in some ALF DVDs or something next week instead, just to spare yourself the pain.
• The Colbert Report: http://www.colbertnation.com