Sometimes I really wonder what would happen if Müm and Sigur Rós decided to pull a Xiu Xiu Larsen on us and form a mega-group. I imagine it would sound like an abandoned shipyard that has a wormhole leading to an icy coral reef that has a wormhole leading to outer space. After that, another wormhole would appear and lead back to the abandoned shipyard. Sprinkle some really tiny supernovas in the distance with some really colorful acid splashes and I think we'd have ourselves an album. Let's face it, you know it'd be totally rad because Müm and Sigur Rós are like brother and sister, peanut butter and jelly, Danny Glover and Mel Gibson. Müm and Sigur Rós both know how to make sweet music by themselves, but put them together and you got yourself a Lethal Weapon.

Well, anyway, all my dreaming and horrible jokes aside, let's get down to business. Müm's new album is titled Go Go Smear The Poison Ivy, Let Your Crooked Hands Be Holy. Yep. It's due out on September 25 and parts of it were recorded in a music school in the fishing town of Ísafjörur (see ridiculous foreign locales that I can't even begin to pronounce), where the band made use of the school's instruments. Some of those instruments include erasers, paper, a bell ringing, and the sloppy noise from the cafeteria's mashed potatoes. Okay, just kiddding! Evidently, Kristín Valty decided to leave the band before the new album was under way, so Müm was reduced to its other founders, Gunnar and Örvar. However, the band is absolutely gargantuan now, because they have utilized the last five remaining people in Iceland* (besides our friends, Sigur Rós and Amiina) to be in the band.

Does that mean Björk's in Müm? Find out at these dates:
06.02.07 - Barcelona, Spain - ATP stage - Primavera Festival
06.09.07 - Paris, France - Villette - Sonique Festival
07.17.07 - Murcia, Spain - La Mer De Musicas Festival
07.24.07 - Athens, Greece - Sync Festival
07.28.07 - Moscow, Russia - Afisha Festival
08.24.07 - Los Angeles, CA - Orpheum Theatre
10.09.07 - New York, NY - Wordless Music Series at St. Paul the Apostle
10.10.07 - New York, NY - Wordless Music Series at Society for Ethical Culture

* Alright, so maybe according to Wikipedia, Iceland's population is like 309,699 instead of five.

Aereogramme Pay Publicist By The Letter, Run Out of Money, Break Up; Or, How to Trivialize Seven Years of Someone’s Life

In the most unnecessarily verbose prose since Dickens, Aereogamme have announced that they will be breaking up. While the reasons for the break are “multiple and complex,” apparently the “superhuman ability to dodge the zeitgeist” plays a primary role.

It was at this point that I was going to launch into some petulant diatribe about the writing style of the announcement. Dostoevsky was mentioned. After I floored you with my knowledge of 19th century, I was going to pull out the archaic name-drops and make wild accusations involving Stabbing Westward and the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. While you were calling your friends and telling them to check out the scathing article, you would probably notice the snappy close which trivialized their career with some anti-RIAA reference (it’s Tiny Mix Tapes; that’s kind of our thing)... but you know what? I’m not doing that. These dudes are breaking up and I’m attacking them because (a) I need to turn in a story, and (b) I don’t like one of the lines in their press release... that seems somewhat inexcusable.

I mean after seven years and, apparently, three somewhat successful records, these people are giving up on their life's work and I’m deciding to marginalize it for no valid reason. In fact, I imagine that the vague prose was masking tremendous hurt and regret and that, regardless of how foolish it looks, those cryptic words actually speak to something important for the band and their fans. It seems utterly inappropriate to denigrate a full career like that just because I cannot understand six words from a message board.

I don’t know. I’m feeling apathetic toward the entire situation. They’re touring before it’s all over. Go see them. Or don’t. I just really don’t care.

* Supporting Biffy Clyro

KCRW’s Morning Becomes Eclectic 30 Years Old; Jerry Lewis 80+ Eclectic Years and Going Strong

Dear KCRW:

I would like to extend congratulations regarding the 30th anniversary of your freeform morning show, Morning Becomes Eclectic. It has, however, come to my attention that the planned programming in commemoration of this milestone on Monday, September 3, Labor Day, will conflict with Jerry Lewis’ annual Muscular Dystrophy Association Telecast. I have no doubt that the three KCRW music directors each preparing segments for the event -- Tom Schnabel, Chris Douridas, and Nic Harcourt -- would be in accord over the importance of the MDA Telethon. The trio of three-hour specials, set to start at 9 A.M.(PT) and repeat at 6 P.M. (PT), will no doubt be “eclectic,” but more eclectic than Jerry in Vegas? Probably not.

One possible solution would be to rebrand your event as a soundtrack to the MDA Telecast. Since you’ll be airing live on both KCRW 89.9 FM, Santa Monica, and KCRW.com, listeners should have no problem piping the signal into their living room as they hunker down around the sound of ringing phones and show tunes.

Also, as a TMT reader, I would like to point out the diminishing effectiveness of the word “eclectic.” It’s simple economics. Please refer to the Shrimp Scampi sidebar of Tiny Mix Tapes.com for specific examples of aforementioned “eclecticness,” a label which it mercifully neglects to advertise. It’s like Target -- cheap shit without all that Wal-Mart baggage.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to future eclectic communication.

Sincerely and eclectically yours,

YOUR NAME

Melt-Banana Cooking Instructions, New Album, Altered Tour in Support of TOOL

Melt-Banana is an easy to prepare and fun snack the whole family can enjoy. It's more commonly known as fried plantains, but whatever: here goes.

First, slice ¼"-thick slices from a ripe plantain at an angle. Next, fill a frying pan ¼"-deep with cooking oil. Vegetable oil is preferred; however, depending on your budget and/or dietary needs, olive oil may be substituted.

The plantains should be fried in the pan for a few minutes, until the plantain "meat" seems well-cooked.

The next step is the oft-forgotten and arguably most important: The cooked plantains should be removed from the frying pan and placed on either a paper towel or on a plate. Smoosh the plantains with a smooshing device, more commonly referred to as a spoon.

Return the smooshed plantains to the frying pan, and fry until the plantains are slightly crispy. Remove from the frying pan and garnish with any of the following: brown sugar, salt, guacamole, or salsa. Try experimenting with your favorite garnishments. While most would refer to the completed dish as fried plantains, I'd encourage the use of Melt-Banana — this slight alteration coincides with the musical group's altered tour arrangements. Then, simply serve and enjoy.

Not since Ozzfest '98 have I been so compelled to see Maynard dance half naked on stage. TOOL's tour — with Melt-Banana opening on several dates — coincides eerily with the re-formed Rage Against the Machine and The Smashing Pumpkins.

Melt-Banana's altered tour in support of their new album Bambi's Dilemma and also partially in support of TOOL:


* TOOL

# XBXRX

The New Mirah Album Inspired by French Entomologist Jean Henri Fabre!! Yes, Jean Henri Fabre!!!

Rejoice! Mirah's lastest album is in the works! Share This Place: Stories and Observations is a collective effort which includes the talent of Kyle Hanson and Lori Goldston (of Black Cat Orchestra and Shifting Light) and other instrumentalists, who have been performing under the name Spectratone International. The group will be playing a string of dates at Seattle's Internation Children's Festival this May, at the beginning of Mirah's summer tour.

The new album is said to be inspired by French entomologist Jean Henri Fabre. Mirah and co. have adopted Fabre's famed method of writing about insects in biographical format, implementing this concept in the lyrics to the new album.

Share This Place will be released with an illustrated lyric booklet and the short film Credo Cigalia. This film is one of twelve films by Britta Johnson, which are meant to be accompanied by the music on Share This Place.

Phil Elverum of The Microphones/Mount Eerie and Steve Fisk (Unwound, Screaming Trees, Nirvana) will be producing the album, which is slated for release August 7 on K Records.

Share This Place: Stories and Observations tracklisting:

If You Don’t Read the Entirety of This News Story, You Might Come Away Thinking There’s No Point to It; But There Is, and It Is This: Joel Gion’s Band is NOT the product of ‘Me,’ But of ‘We’ … (Wow, That Looks Even Lamer in a Headline)

As a heavily decorated -- meaning I've earned three TMT merit badges: the Gratuitous Profanity badge, the Bulbous Boner badge, and the You're a Giant Vag badge -- staffer here at Tiny Mix Tapes, it's my job to ponder a litany of subjects on a daily basis. This duty finds me endlessly digging deeper into the structures of music than anyone should rightfully dare. Like an avid surfer who just stumbled upon a cache of fecal fetish pics, I find myself often feeling that, though I've gained more knowledge through my excursions, I've lost more than my share of innocence. Luckily, with Leveer -- who once wrote “I consider myself a connoisseur of snuff films” during an IM conversation I had with him, causing me to write ‘LOM-F'nL!' in reply -- on staff I don't have to worry too much; at least Faces of Death still seems scary to me.

But, like visions of a Mr. T felch-job (goddamn), I find myself thinking about BALLS a lot. Bouncy, round, floppy, slightly smelly balls. For one, I think modern women have forgotten about the importance of balls in their quest to take command of the cock. Nextly, I've been thinking about Balls in the figurative sense, as in, Ballsy, as in, what's a ballsy move, musically speaking, and what isn't? And remember, we're not talking ‘admirable,' ‘lovable,' or ‘awesome,' so spare me the indignant e-mails. But I digress: In an effort to waste valuable TMT screen space (bet you love that, don't you advertisers?) and purge my inner demons, I've compiled a list of artists/people that are Ballsy and folks that are NOT ballsy:

Ballsy: Phil Spector – This guy has Balls that MUST be ready to burst at any moment. Damn, where do I start? I guess I'll have to go with one of his biggest head-scratchers: The guy fashioned a song called “He Hit Me (And it Felt Like a Kiss)” and actually tried to push it as a single for girl-group The Crystals. Yes, you read that correctly. Idiotic? Yes. Mysogynistic? You bet. Deplorable? OH FUCK YES. Ballsy? Hells yeah. He might have equated to a short, balding, trigger-happy, over-the-hill bitch as the '70s wore on, but perhaps his regression was merely a symptom of post-Ballsy syndrome.

NOT ballsy: Kevin Barnes (Of Montreal) – So, let me get this straight: You sell your song to Outback Steakhouse and not only let them use it in a commercial, but let them rework the lyrics to fit their goal of selling steaks along with a hearty portion of sizzle. What's weirder, you act thrilled at the prospect of “hear[ing] their take on one of our songs as a jingle.” But HOLD ON -- this actually isn't that crazy. Nowadays it's commonplace; even classic Dylan folk tunes are being co-opted by insurance companies. What renders Barnes, to me, ball-less is the fact that a fan holding up a sign that read ‘Outback Steakhouse' was kicked out of an Of Montreal show. Basically, rather than address the subject of ‘selling out' head-on, Barnes decided to get rid of what he saw as the source of his woe. Isn't that... a form of fascism? Look, I'm a reasonable guy; I'm not trying to conjure memories of Kent State here, but what's wrong with holding up a sign? A semi-ambiguous sign, no less? And why did everyone seem to say, ‘Good for you, Kev!' when they heard news of the kick-out? Barnes later told a music site that the situation made him “sad.” But if he's ashamed of selling his song to Outback Steakhouse, why doesn't he just say so? If he can't handle the burden of being faced with his decision, why doesn't he admit it? Wouldn't it have been more reasonable to simply ask the sign-holder to remove it instead of kicking a paying customer out of a show? Of course, now people are telling me that the guy didn't get kicked out, which may or may not be true (and certain sites have deleted information on the subject), but the sign was definitely taken away and likely burned like a Beatles album. So, in the end, people are coming down on this individual for holding up a sign that said ‘Outback Steakhouse,' which is pretty open to interpretation. Or maybe not. In any event, what's wrong with holding up a sign? It's not like the sign said ‘Of Montreal suck cock because they sold their song to a commercial like everyone else' or ‘Barnes can eat my tube steak' ... what's the deal? Regardless, Barnes seems to be doing fine, balls or no, so don't feel sorry for him. Feel sorry for me, I work at a daily newspaper! Besides, Barnes is defying the number-one rule of indie-rock etiquette: Stand By Your Steak.

Ballsy: R Kelly – As many of you know, Kelly allegedly peed on an underage girl, on camera. NO, that does not take balls. Naming his next single “Heaven I Need a Hug”? Nope, no balls. Bestowing the title of The Chocolate Factory on his next full-length album? Houston, we have balls.

NOT ballsy: Any Judge Letting R Kelly Off the Hook – How is this guy still free? Numerous videotapes, an annulled marriage to a then 15-year-old Aaliyah, allegations from ex-girlfriends and protégés? Raisin-sized, at best, your honor.

Ballsy: John Fogerty – This guy (who is admittedly sort of a 'ho' for other reasons) responded to his brother Tom's departure from Creedence Clearwater Revival by allowing -- some claim demanding -- his bandmates to contribute songs to CCR's last album, Mardi Gras. Stu Cook and Doug Clifford thus were responsible for not only writing and singing 1/3 of the album each, but also producing their entries, which by some reports Fogarty refused to sing. And guess what? The album tanked, forever discouraging petty drummers and bass players from aspiring beyond their abilities. Balls much?

NOT ballsy: Mike Love – The music world's nastiest red-headed stepchild, Mike Love's disapproval was listed, by Brian Wilson, as the number-one reason the SMiLE sessions were never released in their original format. Why did Love despise the sessions so? He is said to have been afraid that The Beach Boys would lose their audience if they abandoned their formula (which doesn't make ANY fucking sense because “Good Vibrations,” a wild divergence, had just become their biggest hit). Worst of all, he now denies that he had any problems with SMiLE, only that he didn't dig the lyrics too much. Location? No-Ballsville. Population? M. Love.

Ballsy: Anton Newcombe – Say what you will, this guy has Balls. He may be two LPs short of a record shop, but he's gotten the job done for years due to his extreme musical drive alone. That and his canyon-filling balls anyway.

NOT ballsy: Anton's Brian Jonestown Massacre bandmates in Dig! – Newcombe probably fucked these guys over a lot, but everything he dished out he got back and more... witness his cohorts constantly talking behind his back on camera, flubbing their parts in concert and generally acting just as childish. They're probably saner, but the balls in the family go to Newcombe.

[awkward transition in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... BAM-BIP-BOOP]

Heyyy! Speaking of The Brian Jonestown Massacre, it looks like Joel Gion, EASILY the most likable tambourine-shaker of all-time, is putting out a new album with his band, The Dilettantes. BUT WAIT: Lest you think The Dilettantes are a BJM-esque unit centered around one beastly man, Gion insists that the writing process for the 'ttantes is purely democratic; like America! And Mardi Gras-era Creedence! Dubbed 101 Tambourines -- man, that just makes me smile, seriously -- the record shall be released August 12. Sadly, the publicity sheet ruined all chances The Dilettantes have of Balls-dom by claiming the record's “solution to success is ‘we,' ” proving that all artists should proof-read their one-sheets. Man, that's some cheesy, after-school-special shit.