Sunburned Hand Of the Man Tourdates; Hypothetical Introduction From My Roommate Sophomore Year of College

(Takes resin hit)

(Shotguns Miller High Life)

(Exhales triumphantly)

"Sunburned Hand of the Man." Kind of a cool name. I got a wicked sunburn during G-Love's ACL '04 ACL set, but it was fuckin' worth it... dude was just jammin', you know? That would be so tight... just gettin' stoned and jammin' 24-7. Which I guess is what these Sunburned dudes do. They've put out like... four badass albums this year or some shit already, which is crazy... I mean, not even Skynard in their prime had that much goin' on. Of course, times were different back then, hydroponics have come a long way...

(Loud belch and stomach pat of gratification)

Man, touring Europe would be so badass. If I ever get a record deal, I'm totally goin' over there. Take Jack Johnson, that's all he does, you know? Just travels all around the world with his friends jammin' out. That's the way to live, man. Except these dudes aren't playing in Amsterdam... which is just, like, fucked up. To get all the way over there and not play a show in fucking Amsterdam. It's like... it ain't right, you know? I'd plan my trip so I was there the exact same time the Cannabis Cup was goin' on. I wanna do that before I die. Be a judge in the motherfuckin' Cannabis Cup. I'd be like, "yeah, little of this, little of that..." Ha! That'd be so sick. But, whatever. They don't want to go through Amsterdam, that's their decision. Hey, more weed for me, once I get there.

(Takes another hit)


All right dude, I gotta go to work.