Taiwan: Three Illegal Downloads and Yer Out, Bitch!

Listen up you pretentious, liberal, plant-eating, TMT-reading Karl Marx fanboys. We’re getting fucking tired of your P2P downloading antics and your oh-so-principled stand for illegal filesharing. This is why it’s great to hear the Taiwanese have decided to take some action against your immoral brethren from across the Pacific Ocean.

An amendment passed in Taiwan’s legislature “allows rights holders to either claim their rights via judiciary proceedings, or else follow a ‘notice and takedown’ procedure to have copyright infringing content removed.” The law introduces a “three strikes” initiative that gives ISPs the power to constrain the internet access of left-wing thieves who download copyrighted content more than twice. The brave, China-bashing Taiwanese hope to reduce the number of court cases relating to illegal filesharing by allowing ISPs to warn users of their conduct, hoping that these benefit-scroungers will correct their own behavior.

Unsurprisingly, the liberal media in Taiwan started crying that the law would end up punishing people who had unwittingly downloaded copyrighted material. As Margaret Chen, deputy director general of Taiwan's Intellectual Property Office says, "These people are doing something they shouldn't be doing in the first place. Besides, there are lots of ways to restrict Internet access besides cutting it off entirely." Damn right!

Common Sense - 1

Pretentious, liberal, plant-eating, TMT-reading Karl Marx-fanboys - 0

RIP: Jon Blank, Bassist of Rezin

Official statement by Jon's sister Andrea from Rezin's MySpace:

Dear friends - There is no easy way to write this email, and while I would rather call you all personally, I just can't find my voice right now without crying. Jon passed away Saturday night from a drug overdose. That is what we believe/know at this time. He just got back in the States from an amazing European music tour on Friday. He was doing so well and, well, I guess he thought he was invincible and wanted to celebrate his return. I can't even begin to imagine how he really felt though.

The funeral is this Tuesday, May 5, at 2pm at King David Memorial Gardens and Funeral Home, 7482 Lee Hwy., Falls Church, VA 22042. More details will be in Monday & Tuesday's Wash Post.

Thank you all so much for your overflow of calls and love and support. Know that I truly appreciate it and I am so thankful to have so many friends who knew Jon and love us. Love, Andrea (Jon's Loving Sister)

- Rezin MySpace page

Del the Funky Homosapien Tours, Releases New Album as a FREE, LEGAL Download Until May 22; After That, You’ll Just Have to Pirate It Like You Were Already Planning to Do

When are we supposed to get our stimulus checks? Was that already supposed to happen? Did I miss it? Was there a form at the post office I was supposed to fill out so I can get in on some of that sweet government stimulatin’? Because I have lots of super practical plans for zapping the paddles on this economy’s chest with that cash. Do you think it will help jumpstart the market if I spend my entire stimulus check on Chicken McNuggets and meth? How many pandas can I attempt to buy until I get put into an FBI databank? Will the government finance my conversion to Scientology? I have so many questions!

Thankfully, future-rapper/Hieroglyphic/Ice Cube’s cousin Del The Funky Homosapien has this stimulus shit all figured out for me. In an effort to “resurrect the funk back in music and our lives,” Del is offering his new album Funk Man (The Stimulus Package) as a free download on his website, available riiiiiight... over... here! For more info about Del’s generosity, kindly refer to this proselytizing YouTube and witness the rare incidence of a major artist not mentioning Radiohead while they’re talking about giving away their music for free. But be sure to pick up your stimulus soon, folks. This deal ends May 22, coinciding nicely with the end of Del’s U.S. tour.

What Is a booty? Find out the shocking truth here:
05.05.09 – Ann Arbor, MI – Blind Pig
05.06.09 – Columbus, OH – Skully’s
05.07.09 – Lexington, KY – Dame
05.08.09 – Chicago, IL – Reggie’s
05.09.09 – Madison, WI – High Noon
05.11.09 – Columbia, MO – The Blue Note
05.12.09 – Omaha, NE – Slowdown
05.14.09 – Boulder, CO – Fox Theatre
05.14.09 – Denver, CO – Bluebird
05.16.09 – Colorado Springs, CO – Black Sheep
05.18.09 – Salt Lake City, UT – Urban Lounge
05.22.09 – Geneva, MN – Harmon Park (Bella Madre Music Festival)

Morning Zoo DJs Across the Country Perform a Seven Toilet-Flush Sound-Effect Salute as Clear Channel Cuts 590 Positions

Awkward, stuttering weathermen; sleazy, gambling-addicted co-hosts; and ditzy female call-screeners suffered a tremendous blow last week, as Clear Channel Communications, the largest owner of full-power AM, FM and shortwave radio stations in the country, cut 590 positions nationwide. The cut represents a 3% reduction of its December 2008 staffing level, and follow a January cut of 9% of its workforce.

Clear Channel stated the reason for the cuts are from the "highly challenging business environment." Although the cuts in January focused on the broadcaster's sales force, these cuts are focused on operations, which includes everything from engineers to on-air staff. So while radio purists can take solace in the fact that the economy is also taking its hits at the big corporate baddies, the day is faster approaching that radio will be entirely overrun by robots playing Nickelback songs.

Blank Dogs Set to Release Under and Under; Unveil Video of a Women’s Ku Klux Klan Meeting

Not only are Blank Dogs announcing that they will be releasing a new record, Under and Under, but they are also spreading awareness on a very serious matter: the WKKK is back, and Blank Dogs want you to know. The Women of the Ku Klux Klan will proceed to do a sexy dance in your front yard and burn down your house. But don't be scared! If you act now and pre-order your copy of Under and Under, Blank Dogs have promised to protect your house from the WKKK until the next Blank Dogs record comes out, which can then be used to renew their protection services.

Under and Under will be coming out June 2 on In the Red Records (home to Vivian Girls, Jay Reatard, Black Lips, etc.). Pre-order it now before it's too late!

Under and Under tracklisting:

1. No Compass
2. L Machine
3. Night Night
4. Open Shut
5. Setting Fire to Your House
6. Around the Room
7. Blue Lights
8. The New Things
9. Falling Back
10. Tin Birds
11. Slowing Down
12. Face Watching
13. Books
14. Nothing UGC
15. From Here

Tourdates:
05.08.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Bell House
05.10.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Market Hotel
05.16.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Music Hall (No Fun Fest)

Raekwon’s Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II Drops August 11

Just like how Francis Ford Coppola waited a full decade and a half before producing the highly anticipated third installment of The Godfather, Wu-Tang member Raekwon is finally releasing on August 11 Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II, the follow-up to his 1995 masterpiece Only Built 4 Cuban Linx, an album often cited as the birth of the divisive crack-rap genre. But unlike The Godfather, Part III, let's hope this sequel doesn't feature a convoluted narrative, hinge on the performance of Raekwon's non-rapper daughter, or generally suck.

To the frustration of fans, the album has been on the cusp of a release over the past few years: it reached #6 on XXL Magazine's most-anticipated albums of 2007 (note the date) and was referred to by Raekwon in an interview with HipHopDX.com as being "damn near 200 percent done." So, maybe the man has put in about 342% by now. Cuban Linx has since its release gone platinum, but its successors have been released to more diminishing returns -- Rae's 2003 album The Lex Diamond Story only sold 150,000.

Ghostface Killah, The Game, Bun B, Method Man, Dr. Dre, and Wu producer RZA are slated to appear on Cuban Linx II. Even (ugh) Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker has been rumored to appear! EMI will release the record under Raekwon's ICEH20 Records. The album's first single, "Woo Oh (The New Wu)," features Ghostface Killah and Method Man.

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