Target Buys Another Soul, Turns Around And Sells It At A Reasonable Price

Nineties alterna-rock hit-makers Collective Soul (wow, they had about 15 different singles on multiple Billboard charts back in the day) have signed with a major retailer, not a major record label, for their next album. The Georgia-based, quasi-Christian group announced that the aforementioned -- and properly spelled -- record, Afterwords, will be sold exclusively at Target. So, in case you are birthday shopping for your "cool uncle" or want to buy something for a person you hate, Target will be the only place to get the physical CD (download available from iTunes) beginning August 28.

In celebration of this semi-noteworthy alliance, not to mention Collective Soul being synonymous with the "Clinton Years," here is the tracklist to the Jerky Boys: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack:

Make sure to check out CS with Counting Crows and Live on tour this summer. It will be a great way to bond with Uncle Don. Plus, your mom will be happy you are finally listening to "normal music."

Xiu Xiu Put Their Shoe Shoes On And Walk in This Year’s AIDS WALK SAN FRANCISCO; Are Finishing Up New LP with Guests Michael Gira, Deerhoof’s John Dieterich, and Howard Wiley

I have to be honest about this news article. The only witty thing about it is the fact that I used the pronunciation of Xiu Xiu to make a play-on-words type of joke relating to shoes and walking. If I inserted anymore jokes or wittiness, it'd take away from the plethora of Xiu Xiu news I have to share with you. So, from here on out, this news story won't be funny at all. I promise. Let's begin.

You have to hand it to Xiu Xiu. As a very outspoken band, they definitely do their part when it comes to caring about the world. Really, the only thing that could make their planned AIDS walk even cooler would be if they played a set during the AIDS walk. Wouldn't that be the shit? The walk is taking place this Sunday, July 15, and if you don't live near the San Francisco area and want to help out, you can send checks to:

Oh yeah, one more thing! There's a 7-inch picture vinyl limited to 500 on beatismurder records. It's called Untitled David Horvitz Picture Disc and features three tracks from a 12-year-old cassette recently rediscovered by Jamie Stewart. "Imagine a more reduced Knife Play era Xiu Xiu and you already get an idea about what the 3 tracks on this EP (33rpm) sound like."

Okay, done. For now.

This Internet Thing Is Here To Stay: Apple Third Largest Retailer of Music

Wal-Mart and Best Buy remain one and two, respectively, with both ahead of Apple by more than 50%.

- Wal-Mart’s business practices

- Best Buy’s business practices

- Apple’s business practices

Stars Apparently Record Album, Use Nearby Home’s Unprotected Wi-Fi Network to Leak it Before Leaving Studio

I know what you’re thinking. Great, indie-pop news... I’ll make sure to read this as soon as I finish listening to that series of Tilly and the Wall rarities I downloaded!! LOL!!!.

Hey, fuck you hipster; I hear Slint is playing this weekend.

For those of you not in size ‘26’ jeans (or you in the tight jeans too...), keep in mind that they ARE on Art&Crafts and go ahead and fire up your favorite source for acquiring music as Stars leaked their new album In Our Bedroom After the War about 16 minutes after Joe Chiccarelli finished mixing it.

You could trust their word and believe that the only “just” thing to do is put it up for sale immediately as the promos currently being sent out will leak almost immediately.

You could go on to read their “beautiful” little manifesto saying that,

“Throughout this process, the most important people in this value chain, the fans, are given only two options -- wait until September 25th to legally purchase the new album or choose from a variety of sources and download the album for free, at any time.

“We hope you'll choose to support the band, and choose to pay for their album. However we don't think it's fair you should have to wait until September 25th to do so.

“As such, we are making the new Stars album available for legal download today, four days after it's completion... It's our hope that given a clear, legal alternative to downloading music for free, you will choose to support the creators.”

You could believe that this is a sensible response to piracy from a forward-thinking label.

Or, you could believe that Torquil Campbell (no, not the 13th Duke of Argyll) needs to boost his share ratio on a couple of private torrent trackers and this is the only way he knows how to go about it as that set of audiobooks he's seeding are just not downloading.

The album is available now from iTunes and the Arts&Crafts webstore and will be released in physical form September 25.

The Foo Fighters Announce Release Date and Tracklist for Forthcoming Album, Echoes, Silence, Patience And Grace, and I Set a Release for My Frustration with Dave Grohl

I was sifting through my childhood items last week, separating the goods from the "what the hell was I thinking?" the latter of which included my signed photo from Tim Allen. "Be cool to your tools... grr, grr," he wrote on the back. I'm almost married now, and I don't need to use that item to get laid anymore. Suddenly, I came across a letter I had written to Dave Grohl when I was in seventh grade. In light of The Foo Fighters' sixth studio album, Echoes, Silence, Patience And Grace, set for release September 25 on Roswell/RCA (just 14 days after I was violently violated by cats), I decided to share my letter with you all. Please forgive my poor grammar and immaturity; I was only 13.

Dear Asshat,

Thanks for ruining my favorite Mentos commercials for me with your video for "Big Me". You're not funny dude. I hope videos become obsolete in ten years, because your video made me want to eat my own poop. Yeah, it was that bad. Anyways, if Kurt was still alive I bet he'd think you're an asshat too.

I'll have to admit that I like your CD though. It is good. I hope your new album The Colour and the Shape is kick ass man! I bet it will suck though. I hope you never take yourself too seriously. Knowing how big of an asshat you are though you'll probably think your music will change the world when really it will probably only become the theme song to some short-live TV show. Ha, I bet some lamewad, like Sting or Prince, will cover one of your whiney, look-at-me songs for the Super Bowl or something. Ha, I'd seriously eat my own poop if that ever happened.

Anyways, I ain't hatin'. Could you please send me an autographed picture of yourself? So far only Tim Allen has sent me one. That bums me out. At least I've met Zach from Saved by the Bell, Jodie Sweetin, and the Tiny Toons at a car show. I bet I know more celebrities than you. Suck it Grohl!

Your biggest fan,

Emceegreg

I regret writing that letter now. I have no beef with you, Mr. Grohl. In fact, I'm looking forward to your new album, even though you never sent me a reply. The Foo dudes have also just released a reissued and remastered 10th anniversary deluxe edition of The Colour and the Shape featuring six bonus tracks. Wow, six bonus tracks! Maybe I'll sell my Jodie Sweetin autograph so I can buy it, or maybe I'll buy some meth to send to Sweetin. Seriously though, even more than I regret writing this article, I really, really regret eating my own shit.

Echoes, Silence, Patience And Grace tracklist, sequence remains TBD:

Some Handsome New Summer Newsom News: Joanna to Play Some Awfully Real UK and Europe Shows

Are you experiencing rock-club restlessness, dance party dizziness, or hip-hop-related heartburn? Have you found lately that you are more pallid than Jack White, uncharacteristically apathetic about the redundant re-return of The Rentals, or unusually snippy toward that annoying friend of yours from work who seems to be the only person who legitimately listens to Fatboy Slim and Chemical Brothers?

If so, then you might be suffering from an increasingly common disease known as Prodigious Art-Folk Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS), an alarming ailment that affects thousands of college-to-middle-aged music fans around the world. PAWS results when repeated abuse of tepid, overwrought, and predictably-linear pop structures leads to severe ear atrophy and unrelenting cravings for a more cerebral, syllabically-stimulating, folk-bent art music.

Luckily, there's a new hope on the metaphor-mixed horizon:

Introducing Newsom (antidoxylamine HCl).

Newsom is a safe, non-non-habit-forming chamber folk artist, made publicly available in Europe later this summer, that you simply listen to once a day (or as directed by a record store clerk) for fast, effective, and long-lasting relief of the kind of alterna-tedium caused by PAWS. Newsom works by targeting specific areas in the brain that show a high response to the harp and chamber ensemble stimuli found on last year's excellent Drag City LP Ys as well as this year's Joanna Newsom and the Ys Street Band EP. In a recent study, subjects who were exposed to the kind of three-dimensional, vivid-yet-obscure story songs found in Newsom increased their ability to concentrate on 12+ minute pieces of music by 45%.

Side affects of Newsom are generally mild and include a shrill, raspy singing voice, an inflamed writ, a secret crush on the stately siren, and, in extreme cases, an increased desire to speak in Middle English (if you experience a bout of Middle English lasting more than four hours, you should stop listening to Newsom and consult your therapist).

Say goodbye to PAWS and hello to the harp-playing Newsom: the "plucky" singer/songwriter!

Newsom is available at the following locations:

  

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