Terra Firma Seeking $160 Million In Life Support for EMI; News Writer Seeking Asian Redhead (Must be Willing to be the Breadwinner)

Terra Firma Seeking $160 Million In Life Support for EMI; News Writer Seeking Asian Redhead (Must be Willing to be the Breadwinner)

This just in: Terra Firma — the firm whose name means “solid ground,” remember? — is now reportedly trying to raise an additional $160 million to keep EMI afloat in, uh… financial water. The figure, as well as the mixed metaphor, is apparently needed despite recent successes meeting financial obligations to lender Citigroup (read: the Beatle$ rema$ter$).

After having fallen short on earlier covenants, Terra Firma had reportedly used reserves to cover the deficits, and now (duh) the Financial Times noted that Terra’s chances of meeting upcoming covenants are in serious, like, Alex Trebek-with-a-gun-and-nothing-left-to-lose type jeopardy. The Wall Street Journal has noted that Terra “is almost certain to fall short” on upcoming financial tests and has pointed to “revised business plans and proposals” from the label group. I guess “revised” usually means “better,” but hey, we could all use a good semantics lesson now and again. Separately, a source close to the label recently indicated the expectation of a “near-term blowup,” including possible divestitures and breakups of various recording and publishing units. Yipes.

Quick, everyone: think. THINK. Aren’t there more ways to keep selling people the same Beatles tracks over and over? How about 26 new albums that each feature any and all Beatles songs that start with a given letter of the alphabet? Or maybe a record of instrumental versions of all of the songs Ringo sang lead on?

Newsfeed