Doubts arise, I'm sure, as to why Neil Hamburger — a stand-up comedian — gets constant mention in the independent music media.

A small HIStory lesson is in order. Neil Hamburger, Christian name Gregg Turkington, was owner of über-independent music label Amarillo Records in the 90s, with a roster that included Faxed Head, Zip Code Rapists, and The Three Doctors — all containing Turkington as a member. Each of those bands, incidentally, also featured Trey Spruance -- yes, of Mr. Bungle and Secret Chiefs 3 fame, but also of the label Web of Mimicry, which later released Chiropractic, Faxed Head's third album.

The music business being what it is (full of decrepit and drug-addled degenerates), Turkington found only moderate success among those with expendable income for all things entertainment. Each band he was in either broke up or slowly faded from existence, an unfortunate byproduct of a glue-sniffing pastime, and shortly thereafter, Neil Hamburger was born, already middle-aged and suffering from lung cancer. A deal with Drag City followed.

Turkington-turned-Hamburger has circulated some interesting rounds lately, including a stint on Fox News' Red Eye. More recently he was a featured guest on Tomgreen.com. But most importantly, he'll be back 'round the Midwest doing his stand-up routine, replete with new material and magician Dr. El Suavo opening some dates. So, what does his stand-up routine have to do with music again? Why don't you pay the $10 and go find out for yourself, you cocksucker!?

* with Dr. El Suavo

# with Daiquiri