The Dismemberment Plan tour on a large bus powered by fond memories, wry grins

The Dismemberment Plan tour on a large bus powered by fond memories, wry grins http://www.tinymixtapes.com/sites/default/files/1307/news-13-07-dismemberment-plan.jpg

Hey there, readers! Are you cuties ready for another round of “Which Parts of This News Post are Made Up and Which Parts are Not?” Glad to hear it! This time the post is about The Dismemberment Plan’s new tour, and you better get your thinking caps out, because it’s a doozy!

On the occasion of their three-year anniversary of being a band for the second time, The Dismemberment Plan have announced a run of headlining and festival dates across the United States this fall in support of Uncanney Valley, which is out October 15 on Partisan Records. Check out “Waiting,” the first single, below.

This tour comes in the aftermath of the band’s run-in with an evil wizard. As a result of the wizard’s curse, any vehicle powered by traditional fossil fuels that the band uses will turn into a pumpkin within 48 hours. Unable to afford a new vehicle every two days, The Dismemberment Plan have opted for an unorthodox fuel alternative, and they need your help! Instead of gasoline, the band’s van is now powered by fond memories, wry grins, and the laughter of infants. As such, the band requests that you call them at 256-64-DPLAN and leave a voicemail with your favorite Dismemberment Plan memory. As a deal-sweetener, calling this number also enters you for a chance to win either a pair of tickets to an upcoming show, or a series of cryptic text messages every night after midnight for an entire month (visit their site for more details on the contest). If you have any interest at all in The Dismemberment Plan making it around the country without a bunch of pumpkins in their wake, I’d say you better call that number right quick.

Dates:

09.14.13 - Detroit, MI - Laneway Festival
09.13-15.13 - Chicago, IL - Riot Fest
09.21-22.13 - Denver, CO - Riot Fest
10.18.13 - New York, NY - Terminal 5
10.19.13 - Washington, DC - 9:30 Club
10.20.13 - Washington, DC - 9:30 Club
11.02.13 - Boston, MA - Paradise
11.03.13 - Philadelphia, PA - Union Transfer
11.09.13 - Atlanta, GA - The Masquerade
11.08-10.13 - Austin, TX - Fun Fun Fun Fest
12.07.13 - Seattle, WA - The Neptune Theatre
12.08.13 - Portland, OR - Wonder Ballroom
12.10.13 - San Francisco, CA - The Fillmore
12.12.13 - Los Angeles, CA - The Fonda Theatre

Uncanney Valley tracklist:

01. No One’s Saying Nothing
02. Waiting
03. Invisible
04. White Collar White Trash
05. Living in Song
06. Lookin’
07. Daddy Was a Real Good Dancer
08. Mexico City Christmas
09. Go and Get It
10. Let’s Just Go to the Dogs Tonight

• The Dismemberment Plan: http://dismembermentplan.com
• Partisan: http://www.partisanrecords.com

Sparks announce fall American tour, sign contract to remain brothers for additional 10 years

Sparks have been a band for over four decades. That’s impressive and all, but get this: they’ve been brothers even longer. Over six decades, in fact! At this point, one has to ask, how long can this last? How does one maintain a brotherly partnership for over 60 years? By keeping it nice and legal, that’s how. Every decade, the two brothers meet with their lawyers, who have prepared a contract between the two binding them to remain brothers for another decade. If one wants out of having a brother, they’ll have to wait until the end of the decade, unless they want to owe the other so much money. Anyway, if you’re gonna have a brother, might as well go on tour with him. This is the reason — the only reason — Sparks, as Brooklyn Vegan reports, are going on an American tour this fall.

Earlier in the year, Sparks went on a tour called the Two Hands, One Mouth tour. While that sounds disgusting, it wasn’t disgusting. It simply involved the pair stripping their music down to only keyboard and vocals. Because, you see, you play a keyboard with two hands. And to sing you only need the one mouth. See, nothing disgusting at all. Stop writing that angry letter.

That tour must have gone pretty darn great, because they’re doing it again. Their upcoming fall tour has been dubbed the Revenge of Two Hands, One Mouth tour, which sounds even more disgusting. But, once again, it will (probably) not be disgusting. On this jaunt, the band will bring their hands and mouth to a variety of music halls, theatres, clubs, and even a few festivals. Those festivals will have so many hands and mouths. Sparks will be drowned in mouths!

Sparks dates:

10.23.13 - Atlanta, GA - Variety Playhouse
10.25.13 - Asheville, NC - Mountain Oasis Festival
10.27.13 - Washington, DC - 9:30 Club
10.28.13 - New York, NY - Webster Hall
10.30.13 - Boston, MA - Brighton Music Hall
11.01.13 - Montreal, QC - Le National
11.02.13 - Toronto, ON - Lee’s Palace
11.04.13 - Detroit, MI - Crofoot Ballroom
11.06.13 - Chicago, IL - Lincoln Hall
11.07.13 - Chicago, IL - Lincoln Hall
11.09.13 - Austin, TX - Fun Fun Fun Fest
11.11.13 - Los Angeles, CA - Fonda Theatre

• Sparks: http://www.allsparks.com

Joanna Gruesome have announced their debut album Weird Sister and premiered a single, ya creeps!

Since Joanna Gruesome rhymes with the name of a certain harp-wielding gal who put out a super-long album in 2010, I somehow assumed that the band would be a darkwave fairy music orchestra, and I was thinking I could write a creepy story about dragons in lieu of a real news article.

Obviously, I was wrong. Rhyming always throws me for a loop.

Joanna Gruesome is actually a five-piece noise pop band from Cardiff, Wales — the members all met in an anger management group and got thrown together to compose a song to perform for all the other participants, and even though they hated each other’s guts at first, they couldn’t deny that they made pretty rad music together. On September 10, they’ll be releasing their debut album Weird Sister via Slumberland in the US and Fortuna POP! in Europe. The band spent about a month hanging out at a freaky hotel in Brighton called The Hell House, where other occupants would experiment with occult rituals and Ouija boards, and many of the songs on Weird Sister emerged as a distraction from all of that.

This is the first time they’ve recorded in a real studio, and they got some production help from MJ of Hookworms. They’ve premiered a single called “Secret Surprises,” which apparently describes a blade fight with a mental illness that’s decided to manifest physically. It’s real noisy and a little bit punk and you can stream it below:

Weird Sister tracklist:

01. Anti Parent Cowboy Killers
02. Sugarcrush
03. Wussy Void
04. Madison
05. Lemonade Girl
06. Secret Surprise
07. Do You Really Wanna Know Why Yr Still In Love With Me?
08. Candy
09. Graveyard
10. Satan

• Joanna Gruesome: http://joannagruesome.bandcamp.com
• Slumberland: http://www.slumberlandrecords.com
• Fortuna POP!: http://www.fortunapop.com

Polaris shortlists Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Colin Stetson, Purity Ring, more, giving them a chance to fight it out for cold hard cash

The Polaris Prize is an award given out yearly to the best Canadian album. This award honors artistic merit, free from commercial and social influences. It is a wonderful honor to be bestowed the Polaris Prize and blah blah blah. That’s all fine and well, but what you “artiste” types might be forgetting is that whoever wins the Polaris Prize gets a cool $30,000. What a chunk of change! Makes me wanna forge some Canadian citizenship papers and write a critically acclaimed record, know what I mean?

For a few unlucky chumps, the chance for all that sweet, sweet money has been grasped away from them, right when they were drooling for it the most. Pitchfork reports that the award’s longlist has been cut into a shortlist, leaving the likes of Majical Cloudz, AC Newman, Mac DeMarco, and Daphni disappointed and poor. Maybe next time, buds. Standing triumphant (and potentially rich as all hell) are the following: Purity Ring, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Metz, Metric, Tegan and Sara, Colin Stetson, Young Galaxy, Zaki Ibrahim, A Tribe Called Red, and Whitehorse. Check out the shortlist and longlist here.

The soon-to-be very rich winner will be announced at The Polaris Gala (a.k.a. GIANT CHECK CEREMONY) in Toronto on September 23. Last year, the award went to Feist for Metals, a properly named record, as the now extremely wealthy singer wears only clothing made out of gold.

• Polaris Prize: http://polarismusicprize.ca

Steve Hauschildt announces two-disc anthology of tracks you haven’t yet used to pretend your car is a rocket ship

Steve Hauschildt is giving up on music. Well, no, surely that’s not the case, but it’s hard to resist the supposition following the relatively short lifespan of his Gneiss Things label, the tragic and personally tear-inducing disbandment of kosmische trio Emeralds, and now, the announcement of a two-disc anthology of “rare and unreleased solo works” recorded between 2005 and 2012. The following is not an accurate portrayal of Hauschildt’s mindset, but consider the analogy of a bitter relationship breakup. Assuming a lack of violent propensities, what’s the common, or at least cliché thing to do? Gather everything you have that reminds you of your former partner and… chuck it off a highway overpass, causing mile-long pileups, as drivers then stumble out of their cars to look for the culprit. Valentine’s Day Mix 2013… what havoc you’ve wreaked!

Or throw everything in the garbage, whatever.

The point being, you release everything, literally and figuratively, to gain a sense of closure and to tie things off. Is that what Hauschildt’s doing here with S/H, or has abundance beckoned the release of these tracks? Encouragement from one’s peers? Let’s not try and predict the future with these pieces from the past. While his work with Emeralds may have necessarily been a tad camouflaged given the style of music, this anthology is bound to give comprehensive insight into the guy who clearly pulled more than his creative weight as a member of the group. Henceforth, if he wants to pursue a life of kidnapping children and holding them hostage inside futuristic laser beam force fields, it’s ultimately out of our hands. Due September 16 on Editions Mego.

S/H tracklisting:

Disc 1: 2010 - 2012
01. Poinsettia

02. Galloping

03. Thumbprints
04. Uncanny Valley
05. Dimmer
06. Enter Return

07. Familiar Scene
08. Dream in Dial-Up
09. Flatbed Scanner
10. Ampersands
11. Auto Mile

12. Liberty I

13. Liberty II

14. Liberty III

15. Intimate Yell

16. Seabreezes

17. Flyswatter

18. Screenburn

19. By Buildings
20. Vox Ulterior

21. Still Cloudy

Disc 2: 2005 - 2009
01. In the Waves

02. Coming Into View

03. Jovian

04. Venn

05. Star Map

06. Backwards Glance

07. OCR

08. Rapt for Liquid Minister
09. Portal

10. Critique of the Beautiful
11. Hemero

12. Hiccup

13. Verbatim

14. Red Corridor

15. Passing Cars

16. Different Directions

• Steve Hauschildt: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Steve-Hauschildt/296304210396894
• Editions Mego: http://editionsmego.com

Chicago’s Rotted Tooth Fest, the de facto replacement of Bitchpork, features Wolf Eyes, Bitchin’ Bajas, Sewn Leather, and more; fest starts tonight!

“There are those who think that life has nothing left to chance/ A host of holy horrors to direct our aimless dance.”
– Geddy Lee

“Are we human, or are we dancer?”
– Brandon Flowers

“I got a free will/ I’m gonna use it/ I got a free will/ Yes, I do.”
–Taio Cruz

Life is suffocatingly full of choices. Life is a Chuck E. Cheese’s: we’re little kids, and choices are the balls in the ball pit, covering us entirely so our moms will leave us behind and the giant mouse will adopt us into his merry band of misfits. This weekend in particular is ripe with choices, especially for all you folks in and around Chicago. Indeed, one of the most important choices of your life is just standing there, waiting for you to get in there and decide all over it.

Starting this evening (July 19), there are two whole music festivals going on in Chicago. One is put on by the up-and-coming music site Pitch Fork Dot Com, the other by Chicago record label Rotted Tooth Recordings. Titled Rotted Tooth Fest, the event is a sort of de facto replacement for the Bitchpork festival, which, for the past few years, was also on the same weekend as Pitch Fork Dot Com’s festival. Bitchpork, though a bastion of clever wordplay, will not be returning this year.

Rotted Tooth Fest features acts such as Wolf Eyes, Bitchin’ Bajas, Oozing Wound, Sewn Leather, and a multitude of other sweaty, noisy folks who are looking to massage your aching free will if you’ll just let them. (One of the other bands on the bill is Rectal Hygienics, which is a name I wish I had called dibs on earlier.)

The event kicks off tonight at 9 PM, and you can visit the Rotted Tooth Recordings website for tickets. In fact, the only way to get the address for the event is to buy a ticket (they’ll send you the info via email). So unless you’re in the mood to wander around Chicago shouting “Rectal Hygienics!!,” I’d say pull the choice trigger and buy a ticket ASAP.

Friday, July 19:
Wolf Eyes
Sewn Leather
Bitchin Bajas
Running
Toupee
Gula Gila

Saturday, July 20:
Solid Attitude
Shaved Women
Oozing Wound
Super Sonic Piss
Mayor Daley
Rectal Hygienics

• Rotted Tooth Recordings: http://rottedtoothrecordings.net

  

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