“There is a Rumbling in my Tummy,” says Boris. Tour.

"What will it be this time? Should I bring weed? Maybe shrooms or acid? Oh shit, what if I had some ecstasy? Fuck that shit, man, just take some crystal meth and die without even knowing." How to make your life more exciting? Maybe even your sex life more exciting? OR! Common first thoughts before going to your first Boris show? (Don't be ashamed; they were mine. For all three.)

I've always wondered why one would want to go to a show if one had to wear earplugs to enjoy it. What drives a person to willingly place themselves in harm's way, solely for the sake of entertainment?! Why is Japan so much cooler than America? Why do people think it is? Where will I go after I die? Why do people order multiple Big Macs and then a large Diet Coke to go with it? When will there be a form of entertainment that combines musical and visual art into one extraordinary form of "uber-art"? The answers for all these questions and more I have found throughout Boris' genre-extensive discography. Leaving these questions for an inferior deity to answer could lead to severe moral decay and oftentimes you will lead a horrible life of skewed perceptions.

Thinking back to my first experience of sludge/doom metal, all I can remember is the sheer volume of amps stacked up — a literal wall of amps. I remember being told to wear earplugs. I remember an enormous tension analogous to riding on a rollercoaster and being at the second-before-the-peak where you can see down, and instead of safely being pulled up before reaching four Gs, you plummet downward through a piano wire attached across your path at just the height to cut your head off (it happened at a Six Flags, I swear), yet you are still aware of yourself and surroundings and you can even still feel the pain when your face gets lost in the sweet, gooey ice-cream spill on the scratchy cement sidewalk. You never recover from the agonizing pain. It's called tinnitus. Regardless of the repercussions, fans of noise, drone, ambient, sludge, doom, stoner metal, and poppy speed metal UNITE! And defend that one album of Boris, which you cherish so dearly, to the ignorant fans of only Boris' Pink [TMT Review]. Because that is not Boris. That is some fucked up, BOSS shit, mang.

Will this sell out?!?!:

09.05.06 – Birmingham, AL – The Bottle Tree
09.06.06 – Athens, GA – Calendonia Lounge %
09.07.06 – Atlanta, GA – The Earl %
09.08.06 – Asheville, NC – The Orange Peel %
09.09.06 – Chapel Hill, NC – Local 506 %
09.10.06 – Baltimore, MD – The Ottobar %
09.11.06 – Brooklyn, NY – North Six %
09.12.06 – New York, NY – Knitting Factory %
09.13.06 – Boston, MA – Middle East %

A WHOLE MONTH IN BETWEEN! THEY COULD BE IN YOUR HOMETOWN! OR ANYWHERE! (actually, they're in Tokyo for three days)
10.12.06 – Seattle, WA – Chop Suey
10.13.06 – Olympia, WA – Manium
10.14.06 – Portland, OR – Satyricon
10.15.06 – Eugene, OR – TBC
10.18.06 – San Francisco, CA – Slim's
10.19.06 – Visalia, CA – Howie and Sons
10.20.06 – Los Angeles, CA – Echoplex

% w/ Pearls and Brass

Sunn 0))) and Boris collaboration Altar tracklist:

1. Etna
2. N.L.T.
3. The Sinking Belle (Blue Sheep)
4. Akuma No Kuma
5. Fried Eagle Mind
6. Blood Swamp

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