Step 1: Announce upcoming solo album several months before its release and unleash incredible excitement and anticipation among fans.
Step 2: Release album to great reviews and critical acclaim.
Step 3: Go on a five date mini-tour... No, wait, what?!
Oh, Thurston, why must you do this to us? You know, your faithful fans who have loved you from the beginning? (Well, not entirely, seeing as I wasn’t exactly born until four years after Sonic Youth formed.) Of all people, Thurston, you should know very well that a full U.S. tour should directly follow the release of one’s album (in your case, last month’s excellent solo effort, Trees Outside The Academy.)
But, no! Instead you throw five measly West Coast dates in our faces and expect us to like it?! Well, I’ll tell you what, Mr. Moore... aww, don’t give me that sadface, no, seriously, I was only joking! Yes, you know I still love you. What’s that, you’ll pay for my plane ticket to see one of your shows? Oh, you’re too much!
All delusional conversations aside, any Thurston Moore news is good news, am I right? Check him out at the following dates: