Ticketmaster To Drop Service Charges; The Economic Collapse Pretty Much Rocks

I am LOVING this economic collapse. I mean, I don’t want to rejoice over the pain and suffering of millions of Americans, because that would be horrible, but in all honesty, it’s brought us a lot of good: My mother just called me yesterday to tell me she paid under $2 per gallon of gas for the first time in forever; Barack Obama and his jolly gang of socialist/terrorist pals defeated the evil Sarah Palin and her 400-year-old, out-of-touch running mate; and, most importantly, everybody’s favorite super-evil-behemoth-man-got-you-down-corporate-ripoff-machine Ticketmaster is doing away with service charges! Rejoice! Collapse!

Okay, it's not totally doing away with the charges. According to new CEO Irving Azoff, Ticketmaster is “experimenting” with dropping convenience charges at certain events. Still, it’s progress. Ticketmaster is pretty famous with the plebes for tacking on all kinds of ridiculous surcharges and fees on top of every ticket sold. For years now, your $88.50 Bruce Springsteen ticket has magically jumped to $105, mainly because Ticketmaster is chock full of greedy bastards. The crazy thing is Ticketmaster KNEW everyone thought that, yet it CONTINUED with its crappy policies. But now, everything has collapsed. People can’t afford to pay an arm and a leg to see Neil Young, and if nobody buys tickets, that’s bad for Ticketmaster’s bottom line.

Just remember, it is not that Ticketmaster has suddenly decided that it wanted to be nice, it’s just that its stocks are down. And if the stocks are down, investors are unhappy. And then even Ticketmaster is sad. And we don’t want that, do we?