Top Five Reasons Why A Festival Headlined By Bon Jovi Might Not Totally Suck

Al Gore has played an in interesting role in world affairs in the '00s. You probably first became acquainted with him as the husband of the lady who was adamant about putting "parental advisory" warnings on all the albums of the artists who are now playing the shows he is organizing -- then as Vice President of the United States during America's golden age, the 1990s. Since then, he has won and lost the presidency simultaneously, given hundreds of speeches on climate change, and become a movie star, all (quite literally) without breaking a sweat.

Last week, Gore announced a series of concerts in different countries across the world in order to raise awareness of ?global climate change]. The shows, collectively named Live Earth, will all take place on 07-07-07, with proceeds going to [The Alliance For Climate Protection. Headlining will be such acts as AFI, Akon, Black Eyed Peas, Kelly Clarkson, Sheryl Crow, Duran Duran, Fall Out Boy, Foo Fighters, John Legend, KoRn, Lenny Kravitz, John Mayer, Pharrell, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Snoop Dogg, and -- most importantly -- Bon motherfuckin' Jovi. TMT readers, and I mean no offense when i say this, but... well... you have a bad reputation for not being completely down with Bon Jovi. Maybe it's just that you're not as educated as you'd like to be in hair band aesthetics, or perhaps you had a traumatic experience involving Bon as a child -- whatever the case, it's nothing that can't be remedied.

Here are the top five reasons why a Bon Jovi-headlined show will completely rule:

5. It's for a good cause: more Bon Jovi publicity.
4. New songs such as "You give high-emissions sport utility vehicles a bad name," "Livin' on a slowly but surely melting polar ice cap," and "Bed of greenhouse gases" are certain to get the crowd moving.
3. Al Gore doing air guitar with Heather Locklear on a side stage, while Bon Jovi plays main stage.
2. We can all look forward to the Best of Live Earth blu-ray in 15 years which can only be ordered via HD-infomercial.

1. Bon Jovi rules anyway.

Be in London, Shanghai, Sydney, Johannesburg, or undetermined cities in Brazil, Japan, and the U.S. on July 7 for Live Earth.

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