By Sarah Palin
America, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Senator John McCain and I spent the last few months travelin’ around the country, askin’ for your vote so that we could fight the powers of evil that threaten our great nation. Alas, the majority of you did not give us that vote. And now, you will pay. In fact, Judgement Day has arrived! Now that your anti-Christ BaracKKK Hussein NObama (a.k.a., The Really Really Super Evil One) is the president-elect, Socialist ideals have already begun eatin’ away our nation. What was once a land of hard-workin’, individualistic Joe-The-Plumbers is now devolvin’ into a massive Communist orgy.
Just look at this: New York City-based socialist/terrorist/Jihadist musical group Trans-Siberian Orchestra recently left a $10,000 tip at Sullivans Steakhouse in Omaha. This IN ADDITION to the tips they’d been leaving every single night for three weeks. Now, I spent some time in Omaha while we were campaignin’ and I must say, it’s not only the nicest city in the state of Canada, but it’s probably the nicest city in all of the Northeastern United States. I don’t know why this crazy Orchestra of Siberians would spread their wealth, but I know the people of Omaha are probably secretly hurtin’ over the whole episode.
This group of collectivist sinners may typically masquerade as a rock orchestra playing pseudo-classical prog-rock versions of Christmas classics, but I am going to out them right here: they are socialists. Just like Baraq Al Qaedabama. This sort of behavior is not somethin' that the average workin’-class REAL American will stand for. To leave ten grand for the waiters at Sullivans is simply another example of “spreadin’ the wealth.” Get ready for more of this folks, because this is how it’s gonna be from here on out. It might already be too late. Take cover while you can ‘cause we’re headed back to the days when dinosaurs and humans walked the Earth together. As for me, I’m headed back to Alaska to bury my head in the snow. Bye now!