The Twilight Sad Do Shows With Beirut; Music Writer Continues Having Nightmares About Twilight Sad’s

Oh my scratched chicken turds; did you read that headline? No, not the Beirut and Twilight Sad thing; I'm talking about the incessant nightmares I've been having! That spooky masked child has been haunting me in my sleep. I keep waking up in cold sweats, dreaming that the pillowfaced child is about to pounce on me like a super villainous, scheming wretch with sinister intentions!

What do you mean you don't care about my dreams? What kind of insensitive reader are you? Don't make me cut myself!

Okay, sure, so there's this tour with this Scottish band called The Twilight Sad, and they're touring with this guy/band called Beirut for a few dates. Perhaps one of the more unique combinations of groups I've heard of this year. It's sort of like an indie U2 with an indie Arcade Fire. What? Arcade Fire is indie? Wait; what's an indie again? Man, everything's just been ass-backwards since OiNK got shut down and Radiohead started giving away low-quality MP3s of their new album.

Why don't I just shut up and just give you the tourdates. Would that be more beneficial?

Beirut with The Twilight Sad:

P.S. If you haven't had a chance to hear their rendition of Radiohead's "Climbing Up The Walls" on Stereogum's OK Computer tribute album, I recommend checking out the lo-fi goodness.

Tupac: Dead for Over a Decade, Still Releasing Albums

Spring term of my freshman year of high school I had study hall with Sarah Westphal, and we spent that entire time in the school library (where, surprisingly, you could better get away with gossiping than in study hall). Our conversations usually revolved around two topics. The first involved making plans for Sarah to get me stoned for my first time in her parents' old minivan during lunch. The second was her explaining to me all the different conspiracy theories surrounding Tupac's death.

Eleven years later, and after both my high school and college graduations, the West Coast rapper is still releasing music. Joining several other major hip-hop acts dropping albums on December 4 will be Tupac Shakur, with his 9th posthumous release, The Best of 2Pac.

The collection is divided into two discs: the first, Thug, features hits like "Changes," "California Love," and "So Many Tears." Tracks from the second disc, Life, include "Ghetto Love" and "Keep Ya Head Up." The Best of 2Pac will also include two previously unreleased tracks (seriously, where are these things coming from?) and two new remixes.

Lazy Fucks Everywhere to Rejoice in Sub Pop’s MP3 Convenience

I too find if difficult to shower and dress myself before leaving the house, so I rarely do -- leave the house, that is. And who can argue with that? Fact is, it's just easier to stay home. No riding your bike only to arrive somewhere out of breath and sweating profusely. No hiding bloodshot eyes behind derelict-large sunglasses, indoors. No focusing on the buzzing of the florescent lights rather than what your boss is blabbing on and on to you about in an imperative tone and with a very serious expression on his face.

Nope -- apathy is godliness.

Luckily, someone at Sub Pop has tapped into its mental faculty and pioneered a program to cater to us sorry fat-asses ("fat-asses" purely in reference to myself). Yep, if you've got a computer, which I know you do, you're now free to browse the 200-album catalog of high-quality MP3 ZIP files, downloadable for just $9.90 each. That's just $9.90 more than it was when you were browsing them on OiNK.

Sweet.

The term “festival” gets short shrift. Often synonymous with “horde of drunken shit-sticks in goofy hats and ironic tees who smell like the arsehole of a skunk,” it is hard for truly inspired gatherings to be taken seriously among the enormopaloozas. However, when we think of festivals, some perspective is required. Whether you want to puke pizza in front of thousands of strangers or you want to be entertained to the point of being seduced by live music, you choose your events wisely. Any celebration can be a festival, whether a month-long test of wills in a farmer’s field or three intimate nights at a revered Chicago club. If the annual Million Tongues festival was any more intimate, it would build up an intense longing before arousing you physiologically by way of KY massage, sandalwood candles, and Barry White’s “Your Sweetness Is My Weakness” on stereo repeat (haha... that’s how far out of the seduction loop I am!).

The high expectations for the fourth installment of Million Tongues will surely be met and assumably be exceeded on three consecutive nights in 'Da Chi' in November 8-10 at popular drinking and dancing den The Empty Bottle. Co-presented by Arthur Magazine, The Empty Bottle, and Galactic Zoo (Drag City-compiled, hand-drawn underground psychedelic “dossier”) and featuring plenty of sidestage follies and mainstage fury from the likes of Charalambides and Ruthann Friedman, Million Tongues is sure to be an eclectic, nay, erotic happening.
11.08.07 - Chicago, IL - The Empty Bottle #
11.09.07 - Chicago, IL - The Empty Bottle $
11.10.07 - Chicago, IL - The Empty Bottle %


# Peter Walker, Molten Truth Ensemble (Jeff Parker, Josh Abrams, Plastic Crimewave, Aleks Tomaszewska, Ben Billington), Neptune, and Allá; sidestage performances by Horseback & Michael Tamburo

$ Charalambides, Alasdair Roberts, Heather Leigh Murray, and Alela Diane; sidestage performances by The End of the World Band/ONO & Outpost

% Ruthann Freidman, Aleks & The Drummer, Up-Tight, and Angel Olsen; sidestage performances from Kohoutek, Scarcity of Tanks & Terminal Lovers

Puffy AmiYumi Tour and Release A Ska-Loving Hawaiian Songbird Into The Wild

To retrieve info about the new Puffy AmiYumi tour, I decided to use Google. I found out some interesting things:

(1) Puffy AmiYumi are touring to promote their new album, Honeycreeper (released in September in Japan).

(2) Their new tour is aptly named The Honeysweeper Tour.

(3) The writer-producer for Avril Lavigne and Pink, Butch Walker, collaborated with the girls on Honeycreeper, so I'm sure the album will be stellar.

(4) The Honeycreeper is both a Hawaiian songbird and an outrageous ska band from Albany, New York. Who knew!? I don't recommend it, but here is that ska band's MySpace.

Okay, I'll admit that I eventually ended up clicking Google images because Puffy and Yumi are hott. To my dismay, though, I also stumbled upon this disturbing photo and regret doing so:

CSS And The Merry Holiday Tour: A Christmas Tale

Once upon a time in jolly olde England, there lived a little chimney sweep who loved CSS. His name was Basel Pennyweather, and he lived in a tiny house with an old man named Dusterbottom and his six Irish setters. Dusterbottom was old and mean and never let Basel play with the other children in the neighborhood. Instead, Basel had to work in the cold and the dark, cleaning chimneys while other people ate plum pudding and read Dickens novels and laughed merry laughs. The older boys made fun of Basel for his sooty garb and cramped home, and the little girls turned their noses up as the chimney sweep passed by.

You might think Basel was a miserable little waif, but he was not. You see, little Pennyweather believed in the power of music and love, and he had made a very special Christmas wish. Everyday he looked for old copies of the NME in his customer’s rubbish bins in hopes of reading about his favorite band, CSS. He repeated the lyrics to “Let’s Make Love and Listen to Death from Above” as he worked. And when he was done with his work, he perched on the corner outside the American Apparel store to catch a glimpse of young women wearing shiny neon tights, like his beloved Lovefoxxx.

After many days of being used and abused by the neighborhood boys and his guardian Dusterbottom, little Basel sat hiding on his doorstep, shaking and in tears. Suddenly he looked up to see the heavenly glow of the computer screen across the street. With all his might he hoped that it would be a music news website announcing the return of CSS to the British Isles. He wished and prayed, and at that very moment, a beautiful Christmas star fell from the sky and spelled out these glowing words:

CSS Holiday Tour:

* Justice

** Joe Lean and the Jing Jang Jong

Note: Metronomy play on all dates