The Twinkie Defense Is Not an Acceptable Excuse! Go See Harvey Milk on Tour!

Keen followers of my horseshit rants (hi Mom!) know darn well that anytime I can throw in a reference to my favorite movie, Back to the Future, I will. Even if the news is bad, like when the famous courtyard and clocktower sets were destroyed in a fire on the Universal Studios lot last week, I will take the time to write about it and you, rightfully, will not take the time to read it. Apparently I’m not the only one with a BTTF fixation. In memorandum of the destroyed film sets Harvey Milk have planned their forthcoming tour on the space-time continuum featured so zanily in the trilogy.

It looks like a strange tour itinerary, and I do spot a couple of oversights: the band are covering dates in the Old West in 1885 by traveling back in time in the DeLorean, but a dozen shows in the U.S. starting this June 17 in Atlanta seem to be missing. Likewise, the band will undoubtedly McFly somewhere in the year 2015 to play some gigs, but I don’t see a bunch of confirmed July dates in Europe, mostly in Germany, where the band has been hailed as the second coming of Accept. I guess you can’t count on anything these days... except for Harvey Milk to completely destroy at any date they play, without the use of fire. Check the U.S. venues for supporting acts, which may include sets by Major Stars, Pride Parade, Torche, Clouds, Dead Goats, Growing, Bloody Panda, Dead Bird, 27, Black Helicopter, Pigs!, or Dianogah, depending on which show you WILL attend. All Euro dates are with Hydra Head label friends Oxbow.

Roads? Where Harvey Milk are going, they don’t need roads

06.17.08 - Atlanta, GA - The Earl
06.18.08 - Charlotte, NC - The Milestone
06.19.08 - Richmond, VA - Canal Club (downstairs)
06.20.08 - New York, NY - Knitting Factory
06.21.08 - Boston, MA - Great Scott
06.22.08 - Northampton, MA - The Elevens
06.23.08 - Brooklyn, NY - Europa
06.24.08 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda’s
06.25.08 - Baltimore, MD - Ottobar
06.26.08 - Wilmington, NC - Soapbox
06.27.08 - Athens, GA - 40 Watt
06.28.08 - Birmingham, AB - Bottle Tree
07.06.08 - Munich, Germany - Feierwerk #
07.07.08 - Stuttgart, Germany - Club Schocken #
07.08.08 - Berlin, Germany - Festsaal Kreuzberg $
07.09.08 - Hamburg, Germany - Hafenklang #
07.10.08 - Rotterdam, Netherlands - Worm #
07.11.08 - Brussels, Belgium - Recyclart #
07.12.08 - Birmingham, England - Supersonic Festival
07.13.08 - Glasgow, Scotland - ABC2
07.14.08 - Manchester, England - The Ruby Lounge
07.15.08 - London, England - Underworld
07.16.08 - Paris, France - La Maroquinerie %
07.17.08 - Dortmund, Germany - Fzw #
07.18.08 - Dour, Belguim - Dour Festival #

# Oxbow

$ Oxbow and Parts & Labor

% Oxbow and Red Sparowes

The Milk, now fortified with additional nutrients like Joe Preston (Thrones, Melvins, Earth), released their latest album, Life...The Best Game in Town on Hydra Head, on June 3. If you own it, these might look familiar:

1. Death Goes to the Winner
2. Decades
3. After All I’ve Done for You, This Is How You Repay Me?
4. Skull Sock and Rope Shoes
5. We Destroy the Family
6. Motown
7. A Maelstrom of Bad Decisions
8. Roses
9. Barn Burner
10. Good Bye Blues

Jaguar Love (Featuring Ex-Pretty Girls Make Graves/Blood Brothers Members) to Release Debut Album, Tour This Crazy World

Last week, Jaguar Love -- consisting of Johnny Witney (ex-Blood Brothers), Cody Votolato (ex-Blood Brothers), and J Clark (ex-Pretty Girls Make Graves) -- released a self-titled EP on Matador. And in a couple months -- August 19, to be exact -- the band will release its debut full-length, Take Me To The Sea. So what will they do in the meantime? I mean, if they're not going to get regular jobs like the rest of us (assuming they don't have regular jobs like the rest of us), they better start contributing to society in some meaningful way.

Maybe they can tour? Maybe have them tour Europe in order to expand the Matador presence over there? Then maybe we can have them come back late July to play a couple U.S. festivals? And then have them startup a brand new North American tour this fall with The Faint? Ha, maybe! Anything's possible in this crazy world.

If Dirty Deeds Were Done Cheap, There Would Be a New AC/DC Album Exclusively Sold at Wal-Mart. Oh, There Is?

Apparently, AC/DC's newest, yet-to-be-titled album will be sold exclusively this fall through Wal-Mart stores, according to the Wall Street Journal. AC/DC will be following in the footsteps of past Wal-Mart buddies, like Garth Brooks, The Eagles, Journey, and Gerry, the old "Welcome to Wal-Mart" door-greeter.

And just what does this mean for AC/DC fans?

1. The album won't be slapped with a Parental Advisory sticker, since Wal-Mart doesn't sell music promoting violence or sex (or unions). To cure the "No-Big Balls" blues, buy a shotgun and take out your anger by shooting pretty things in nature.
2. Yes, AC/DC has "sold out," so to speak. But rumor has it that the album will be groundbreaking and complimentary to the forthcoming tour. And by "rumor," I mean Rumor Willis. What does she know?
3. Make a day out of it. Take the whole family with you to buy the AC/DC album. Stop at McDonald's or Subway, get a manicure, get your oil changed for cheap (tip: some workers forget to put the oil cap back on), and finally get your eyes checked, teeth done, credit evaluated, and hair cut.

To support the demand of AC/DC fans, several Wal-Marts will be built near swampy areas.

Icy Demons to Excorcise Themselves On U.S. Summer Tour, Regan MacNeil, Emily Rose Relieved

It's time to excorciiiiiise the demons, America! This summer, Chicago-via-Philadelphia supergroup Icy Demons will be awaking from their centuries-old slumber, spreading their ghoulish wings, and projecting their polyrhythmic, asymmetrical pop-jazz all over the U.S. like so much green pea soup.

But what exactly is the otherworldly cause of the United States' sweeping summertime demonic possession (and subsequent lazy punnery on my part)? Why, a new record, of course! Miami Ice -- the band's third unholy long-player of satanic freakouts, under-handed knee-jerks, ill begotten squiggly-lines, and... oh yeah, catchy pop tunes -- was officially unleashed on the U.S. this past week via the band's own insidious label, Obey Your Brain. Featuring co-founders and presumed devil-worshipers Chris Powell (a.k.a. "Pow Pow" from Man Man and Need New Body) on drums, Griffin Rodriguez (a.k.a. Blue Hawaii from Need New Body and Bablicon) on bass and vocals, as well as guest musicians Jeff Parker (Tortoise) on guitar, Josh Abrams (Prefuse 73, Sam Prekop) on upright bass, highly-esteemed Chicago improviser Tomeka Reid on cello, and Russell Higbee (Man Man) on guitar, Miami Ice promises to offer more trouble to staunch, conservative-minded, glory and praise-singing Catholics hoping to keep their kids off demons.

However, even this all-star lineup isn't demonic enough for this utterly satanic tour, as the touring lineup will also include members of Chicago electronic funk group The Chandeliers and Dylan Ryan (Michael Columbia, Bronze). So run for the hills, America. Or... alternately, head over to one of these venues-turned-hell churches this summer. The demons are coming. And they're rolling deep.

Icy Tourdates:

* !!!

$ Extra Golden

[Thanks Dave Broonum!]

MTV Fined $484,500 for Showing Aphex Twin Video and “Racist and Homophobic Text Messages”

Ohhhh maaaan -- it seems like the most basic human response is to make cheap jokes when you read about MTV Networks Europe being fined £255,000 ($484,500) for what British media regulator Ofcom calls "widespread and persistent" breaches of broadcasting code stuff. So I am going to make those cheap jokes. Was it "widespread and persistent" airing of A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila? Annoying television hosts in their early thirties wearing teenybopper clothing and screaming "What's up y'allllll?" Perhaps one too many live broadcasts from Spring Break in Cancun?

Well, actually it's for airing Aphex Twin's "Windowlicker," among other things. It all happened so quickly, before 9 PM, when small children were still awake and experiencing a rare showing of music videos. Apparently multiple instances of The F Word in "Windowlicker" didn't sit well with audiences. And neither did what are described as "racist and homophobic text messages" aired on MTV France's Belge Chat program. Naturally many viewers find Jodie Marsh offensive, but especially so when trailers for her ostensible reality show contain the line "I just don't want you settling down with some fucking wanker from a modeling agency." So that's another fine for MTV Networks Europe, currently tallying up to a cool $152,000 owed by MF, $66,500 by MTV France, $152,000 by MTV UK, and $114,000 by MTV Hits.

It’s hard being one of the lesser known bands on a huge indie label, but the fellows in Son Ambulance -- who recently dropped the comma from their band name -- have been dealing with this injustice for quite some time now. After all, it’s not their fault that Saddle Creek is most often associated with more popular acts like Bright Eyes, Cursive, and The Faint. And now, with the signing of buzz bands like Tokyo Police Club and Georgie James, it appears that most people have forgotten about those old reliable Saddle Creek mainstays, like Now It’s Overhead, Mayday, and, of course, Son Ambulance.

Unlike those bands though, at least Son Ambulance are doing something to combat their no-name status by touring in support of a forthcoming album, titled Someone Else’s Déjà Vu, their first full-length in three years. The album is due July 8 on Saddle Creek (who else?) and features guest appearances from Tilly and the Wall and The Faint.

Also, because you will most likely forget about this news story and Son Ambulance in less than five minutes, here’s a handy mnemonic device to help you out:

Son Ambulance = Sun Ambulance = Sunshine Ambience = Shine Ambien = Shenanigan.

Alright, now that you’ll remember their band name forever, go check them out on tour (a second batch of dates will be announced shortly):

& Jennifer O’Connor

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