Voulez-vous écouter Jay-Z avec moi? Ce soir? Hov Bids Adieu to Def Jam, Plans Series of Intimate Soirees

Pop open the champagne, draw the bath, and scatter those rose petals. Because it’s time for what fine news sources everywhere are billing as “intimate performances” with Jay-Z. He’s a hardworkin’ man, Jay-Z, and he’s just broken up with someone/thing very special in his life. No, not Beyoncé. It’s Def Jam. Def Jam who will have to go home alone tonight. Def Jam who will have to look through those dusty old photographs, sigh, and run to the corner store later this evening and pick up an economy-sized tub of the grossest Ben & Jerry’s flavor imaginable. Fortunately, Hov had only nice words for Def Jam’s Doug Morris and L.A. Reid, explaining how the negotiations to end his contract included a coin toss. “Doug won the toss, but we both won in the end," he said. "I thank him for allowing me to be a completely independent artist. Not every artist can say they own or are given the opportunity to own all of their music." Ahhh!

Jay-Z owed the label one final album, but instead bought out his contract for $5 million. He has been working on The Blueprint 3 with Kanye West since last year, and -- you know -- right now Hov just needs to take a moment to slip into something more comfortable and connect with the fans before finishing up this latest album. But wait! What’s this? It’s not just Hov who will be performing — it’s also his full backing band and saucy R&B opener Ciara on the following dates! Better make more of those chocolate-covered strawberries that are so creepy/delicious.

The “exclusive,” “intimate” performances kick off with a couple nights at The Palms Casino in Las Vegas, with more dates in the works. So why not kick back, relax, and let Live Nation give you a massage and some Jay-Z tickets?
07.03.09 - Las Vegas, NV - The Pearl at the Palms Casino Resort
07.04.09 - Las Vegas, NV - The Pearl at the Palms Casino Resort
07.07.09 - Chicago, IL - Charter One Pavilion at Northerly Island
07.10.09 - Uncasville, CT - Mohegan Sun Arena
07.12.09 - Atlanta, GA - Chastain Park Amphitheatre

Recession Busting 101 – Tax Breaks for Live Music Venues

In the 2009-10 academic year, the University of Tiny Mix Tapes will be offering a new musical economics course entitled "Recession Busting." Students will learn the theories and concepts around tackling an economic recession with Professor P (Ph.D in Competitive Alternatives to Pitchfork Media) and Associate Professor Squeo (Ph.D in News Editing of Pretentious Websites).

The first module will examine the impacts of tax breaks for small live music venues. Using Seattle, WA as an example, students will discuss whether giving money back to musicians helps to lift cities out of recession.

- Background information: On May 11, 2009, the Seattle City Council voted to take another vote on exempting small live music venues from its admissions tax. The exemption would only apply to clubs with a capacity of less than 1,000 and where shows took place at least three times a week with a minimum of 16 performers.

Nightlife Music Association President Quentin Ertel says, "Is it going to keep the doors open for clubs that would otherwise go out of business? Probably not, but it is going to get a very pro-music tone for the city and that can’t be a bad thing."

***

Students will need to grapple with a wide variety of musical and economic data to arrive at their own conclusions on the merits of these tax breaks (while listening to each mix of the Chocolate Grinder).

Whitest Tour Ever Alert: Okkervil River to Open for Wilco

Go ahead and look at the two of them. Yes, it’s true; Okkervil River and Wilco are pretty much the whitest bands of all time. In order to kill some time in between sets when you’re not drinking a microbrew, or, uh, standing still, here’s a fun game you can try out (concept stolen from my Crystal Method story):

One point for spotting:
- Any stringy-haired boys dressed like Will Sheff.

- Your Dad (hey, it IS a Wilco show, after all).

Five points for spotting:
- Someone who isn’t Caucasian and upper-middle-class.

- Someone not using an iPhone.

Fifty points for spotting:
- Someone reading Gravity’s Rainbow in between sets.

In other Okkervil River news, they are set to tape their first Austin City Limits appearance on June 18. Dweebs

06.14.09 - Manchester, TN - Bonnaroo (The Other Tent)
06.25.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Wiltern Theatre %
06.26.09 - Saratoga, CA - The Mountain Winery %
06.27.09 - Berkeley, CA - Greek Theatre %
06.28.09 - Stateline, NV - Lake Tahoe Outdoor Arena %
06.30.09 - Jacksonville, OR - Britt Pavilion %
07.03.09 - Morrison, CO - Red Rocks Amphitheatre %
07.10.09 - Ottawa, ON - Ottawa Bluesfest
07.11.09 - Winnipeg, MB - Winnipeg Folk Festival

% Wilco

Weezer Say “Fuck It” to Artistic Credibility, “Yes” to Teenage Girls; Announce Tour with Blink-182

Listen up: Weezer are headed out on a MEGA summer tour where they plan to leave all hopes of respectability and acceptance by music critics and aficionados in the past and fully accept the rigors and pleasures of a sold-out life. The band has announced a trip through the great U.S.A., which will include dates with reunited pop-punkers Blink-182. The shows will take place at whatever happens to be the biggest arena in your area.

Weezer, who enjoyed a brief period of both mass popularity and critical acclaim due to their well-received and highly enjoyable albums Weezer (the blue one) and Pinkerton (the sad one), have been on a slow decline since the 2001 recycling of their self-titled album's cover concept and title for the "green album." The past nine years have seen the band on a sad slide from nerd-rock darlings to champions of mall rock irrelevance. The band apparently aims to use the newly announced tour as a platform to announce their full acceptance of mediocrity to fans across the country.

“We just got tired of [making good music] and said fuck it, let’s keep making money and getting pre-teens hot for us,” Cuomo stated as he reclined in a pile of money and elucidated on his life path. “Yeah, the whole blue album was fun but it’s just so much work! You know what I mean? It’s tough to write stuff that’s good and makes tons of money. I think our next couple albums are just going to be ‘The Purple Album,’ ‘The Orange Album,’ and probably ‘The Yellow Album.’ I think [the band] would all look good standing in front of purple; plus, the marketing dudes say that purple is pretty hot right now, so that’ll make us some money as well.

“Really, we just want to be a brand.”

Once the band decided that they would rather have a lucrative career over glowing reviews and continued musical evolution, they realized that they would need to do something big to let the world know their new mission statement. “We thought a tour would be an excellent way to keep our fans informed and still be able to get more money from them,” says Weezer drummer Patrick Wilson. Guitarist Brian Bell had this to add: “Once we knew that [the tour] would be the way to go, we had to find a band that stood for what we wanted to stand for, so we called up our record label and asked them to recommend a shitty band to play with.” After only a couple sessions of focus groups, the label decided on Blink-182 and quickly got them to reunite.

Weezer, especially Cuomo, say that they are super excited for the tour and hope that ALL their fans come out for the shows. Here are the dates, with slight adjustments to P4k's dates:
07.24.09 - Jisan Valley, Korea - Jisan Valley Rock Festival
07.26.09 - Naeba, Japan - Fuji Rock Festival
08.23.09 - Toronto, Ontario - Molson Amphitheater *
08.25.09 - Wantagh, NY - Nikon Theater at Jones Beach *
08.26.09 - Holmdel, NJ - PNC Bank Arts Center *
08.28.09 - Camden, PA - Susquehanna Bank Center *
08.29.09 - Hartford, CT - New England Dodge Music Center *
08.30.09 - Washington, DC - TBA *
08.31.09 - Saratoga, NY - SPAC *
09.02.09 - Cleveland, OH - Blossom *
09.03.09 - St. Louis, MO - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre *
09.04.09 - Kansas City, KS - Sandstone Amphitheatre *
09.06.09 - Denver, CO - Fiddler's Green Amphitheatre *
09.10.09 - Seattle, WA - White River Amphitheatre *
09.12.09 - Sacramento, CA - Sleep Train Amphitheatre *
09.13.09 - San Francisco, CA - Shoreline Amphitheatre *
09.16.09 - San Diego, CA - Cricket Amphitheatre *
09.17.09 - Irvine, CA - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre *

* Blink-182

From Rags to Riches and Back Again: Raglani and Emeralds’ Gear Stolen at No Fun Fest

We've all heard horror stories of music gear getting stolen, because the stories are simply endless. Most don't get their gear back, but once in awhile stolen equipment will be discovered and returned to the artist. Hopefully this is another such case.

After playing at No Fun in New York last Friday, Raglani's van was broken into and all of his many synths were stolen. And not only did Raglani walk up to see another car loaded up with his and Steve Hauschildt's (Emeralds) equipment, but they almost got run over by the car while chasing after them! Due to the loss of their gear, Raglani, who was on tour with Steve Hauschildt, had to cancel the remaining dates.

Since most of their equipment was made up of shit you don't see every day, some equipment might be easily recognizable. So check out the list below, pass it around, and keep an eye out.

Also, a page has been set up so that people can donate money to help Raglani and Haushildt get new equipment. Of course, you could always buy their records too. Raglani saw his Kranky debut last September with Of Sirens Born (TMT Review) and Haushildt has many tapes and CD-Rs you can pick up from Arbor, Gneiss Things, etc.

Raglani's stolen gear:

Moog Voyager Old School white wash

Moog VX-351 Expander with cable

Moog Voyager Case ("Raglani" stenciled in black)

Sequential Circuits Pro One (J-Wire) with black plastic case

TWO Traynor KB-4 Keyboard amps ("Raglani" stenciled in white on bottom)

Pedal board case

Flower Electronics Little Blue Boy Deluxe custom build modular synth
with wood sides
3ms (4MS) Noise Swash Pedal, silver

Boss Super Shifter (blue pedal)

Boss re-201(?) SPACE ECHO PEDAL NEW

Sony walkmen

Behrenger 12-channel mixer (silver)

Moog Ring Modulator Moogerfooger pedal

Line 6 DL4 delay modeler

Shure microphone beta 51

DJ case with new headphones and tools, all my patch cords, including
several expensive adaptors and color cables

Mac Powerbook laptop computer

Garwin GPS

Steve Hauschildt's stolen gear:

Moog Micromoog with flight case

Moog Lowpass filter Moogerfooger pedal

Frostwave resonator filter pedal

Akai Headrush pedal

Boss Graphic EQ (white pedal)

E.H. Small Stone phaser pedal

Behrenger xenix mixer

Various cables and adaptors

HEALTH Announce New LP Details, Featuring Such Uplifting Tracks As “Die Slow,” “Eat Flesh,” and “Kill Everyone Because Life Is Not Worth Living, FUCKER”

HEALTH never shied away from their dark noise-punk leanings. And doesn't look like they'll shy away anytime soon. Take, for example, the tracklisting for their new album Get Color, due September 8 on Lovepump United:

1. In Heat
2. Die Slow
3. Nice Girls
4. Death+
5. Before Tigers
6. Severin
7. Eat Flesh
8. We Are Water
9. In Violet

I don’t know about you, but I’m genuinely terrified to hear how harsh a song called “Eat Flesh” sounds, especially since Get Color was recorded in a not-so-great part of Lincoln Heights in Los Angeles. I even hear The Crips totally recorded a guest-spot on a few of the tracks. Spooky! To hear the first single, “Die Slow,” you can visit HEALTH’s Muxtape page. Or go see them on tour this summer and hear it in person:
06.18.09 – Toronto, Ontario – Horseshoe Tavern
06.20.09 – Brooklyn, NY – Danbro (New York Night Train Happening) &
06.26.09 – Calgary, Alberta – Sled Island Festival
06.27.09 – Calgary, Alberta – Sled Island Festival
08.21.09 – Kiewit, Belgium – Pukkelpop Festival
08.22.09 – Biddinghuizen, Netherlands – Lowlands Festival

& Awesome Color, Kid Congo Powers, DJ Mr. Jonathan Toubin

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