Because everyone knows that epic high-seas sequels are always better than their original-version counterparts, the scurvy land-lubbers in Weezer (that band that both your niece and your aunt like more than you do) have announced that they are once again hoping that some water and an expensive change of context will make their music more interesting.
In accordance with what I read today on Pitchfork, Rivers “Oceans” Cuomo and his nameless, faceless bandmates have announced the second seemingly-biannual Weezer Cruise (they already did one of these in 2012), which is a thing where you go on a cruise with Weezer and some other bands and they play shows for you, sell merch to you, help you put sunscreen on your back, and just generally show you how to properly enjoy a rock-music-themed-vacation. The thing is going down (oops, sorry; no pun intended!) February 13-17 2014 and will embark from Jacksonville, Florida before crashing hungover into the Bahamas five days later. Along the way, Weezer will perform three shows, including a special “beach concert with Weezer” that will take place on a private island. There will also be some photo sessions, a “fan Q&A,” an “interactive Weezer Game Show,” and more.
Other acts and more info are promised to be announced soon, and pre-sale starts on March 20 at noon. In the meantime, here’s a trailer for you to watch that I hope will at least temporarily distract you from wondering why we’re even reporting this story to such a smart, savvy, music expert as yourself. You look nice today, by the way.