I’d rather be cruising! My other car is a cruise ship! I heart cruising! Live, love, cruise! These are all bumper stickers on the back of my car. Except that I have made a crucial modification: in the darkest hour of the night, I have carved “WEEZER” into every bumper sticker with an old kitchen knife. I love the Weezer Cruise, it’s my life and it’s my wife. I thank the good Lord that it is coming back in 2014, else I would have little reason to trudge on.
This time around, the Weezer Cruise has scored one hell of a name: Weezer! Yes, this time around, Weezer will be playing the Weezer Cruise. Hell, they’ll be playing it three times! The Weezer Cruise has really gotten in good with Weezer! One of those shows is an “unprecedented” beach concert on the band’s private island off the Nassau Coast. During that show, they’ll be joined by Cat Power, who is not Weezer. I checked, I did research. Cat Power’s not Weezer.
On the subject of not-Weezer (NOT my favorite subject, I’ll tell you that), there are a number of other non-Weezers playing the 2014 Weezer Cruise. Here’s a quick list: Toro y Moi, comedian Adam Devine, Ash, Bleached, Caveman, DIIV, Holy Fuck, Ozma, Palma Violets, The Cribs, The Orwells, The Relationship, not-Weezer, and definitely-not-Weezer. In addition to these groups, Weezer. If you tire of hearing the music of Weezer and not-Weezer, you can amuse yourself with a variety of other activities, such as a Weezer Q&A Session, an interactive Weezer game show, a photo session with Weezer, and listening to Pinkerton by yourself in your cabin. The last item is not an officially-sanctioned event, but remains an option.
Tickets for Weezer Cruise 2014 are currently on sale, for the low (?) price of $599 and up. Plus a $300 per person deposit made during the time of booking. Plus you have to get a Weezer tattoo, but you probably already have one, so don’t worry about it.