We’re Only Making Television Plans for Nigel Godrich… Oooh-oooh. Nigel Just Needs This Helping Hand… From Beck, and Thom Yorke, and White Stripes… Oooh-oooh

A friend of mine gets a lot of stick for his endless bitching. It's mostly about how he thinks jackoff comedian Tom Green stole his ideas and potential career by performing like-minded shtick while hosting a community cable TV show years and years ago. This friend believes that it should have been he, not Green, to use this early foray into the entertainment biz as a springboard to MTV fame (read: insignificance), in and out of Drew Barrymore's pants, and into tens of homes via the Freddy Got Fingered vid rental. Now, it looks like it may be my turn to experience a similar fate and spend my future days wandering from tavern to dive telling anyone I make eye contact with that "I could've really been someone if it wasn't for...

...Nigel Godrich!" Now, I've never claimed to have m(any) original ideas, but creating a show for local and traveling-through-town bands to perform on was one of them. I was thinking of financing the whole shebang using the two-pronged method of whoring myself out and selling my '92 Honda Accord for $800.00. So yeah, basically I'm assuming that $804.27 would be enough to produce a show chock full o' quality and class. Surely empires have been built on less? Imagine my surprise when stud producer Godrich (Radiohead, Beck, R.E.M.) suddenly announced that he has mind-snatched my idea (allegedly) and has created From the Basement for British television (definitely), a show that will boast hot-piss bands playing their hot-piss tunes. He really should think about launching a podcast of the shows als... damn you Godrich, sir!

Episode one will feature the alterna-wet dream of The White Stripes, Thom Yorke, and Four Tet. The second will have Beck and Jamie Lidell. After that, it's anyone's guess as to which way From the Basement will go. Could it be more sets by Godrich's friends and superstars, or could it be appearances by Kid (sans Play) and a reunited Creed? C'mon god of revenge...

The much-traveled quote reported by top trendsetters Rolling Stone is this one: "I'm interested in the visual arts side of things, and somehow integrating that into what records have become," Godrich said. "People don't buy albums so much because, as a medium, it's changing, so I'm just trying to figure out what it's changing into, and chasing after that." Since when does "chasing" mean "stealing," G-rich? Huh, punk? The only differences between your wannabe American Bandstand and my ticket to lotusland are a well thought-out business plan, a high-gloss and fully-equipped set, the financial backing, and a talented producer/host and guests!

Unfortunately for hopeful participants who like nothing more than to yelp like jackasses and lose their shit on teevee, the show will have visual accompaniment to the artists in lieu of a traditional audience. This is in keeping with Godrich's recent leanings towards changing the music industry described above and with much of what he has been planning with Beck on his forthcoming album project, The Information. That's the one with a full complement of simpleton greenscreen videos and fuzzy felt interactive cover art or whatever the fuck they're foisting on the braying public next month.

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