Iron & Wine Extend Tour, Stick Aforementioned Tour in Obscene Places, and They Don’t Even Bother Usi
By Emceegreg on Oct 26 2007

A better writer on a more serious music website would likely write a couple brilliant sentences about Sam Beam's beard (We get it. It's big!). A better writer would give a thorough synopsis into the history of Iron & Wine. A better writer would go on and on about the recently released The Shepherd's Dog and the recent European tour.
A better writer would give you facts, and not a buttload of misleading information. A better writer would be objective and unbiased. A better writer would show a sense of maturity and pride in his work. A better writer would bend over backwards for everyone in the music industry.
Emceegreg is not that writer. Emceegreg sees headlines like "Iron & Wine Extend Tour" and automatically thinks of erected phalluses. Emceegreg thinks about a greased-up, scantily clad Sam Beam caressing the folks in Tucson, AZ. Emceegreg often has dreams about Beam naked as he came, if you know what I mean. Emceegreg knows for a fact that Beam is not quiet in bed. Emceegreg has no shame.
Emceegreg is also unaware that his homoerotic stories are at times immature and offensive, but he thinks it's okay because he has one black friend.
Current tourdates:
Deerhunter to Star in Upcoming Film The NeverEnding Tour, Starts Today
By 8bit on Oct 25 2007
Deer Dearhunter,
We here at Warner Bros. Pictures have noticed that you've recently taken a liking to poorly written, shitty prose. We are also aware of the purported pedophiliac posts you've been producing. Based on the quality of your recent work, the studio would like to offer the members of your performing troupe the unique opportunity of starring in the exciting new film, The NeverEnding Story IV: Bux in Narnia.
Due to recent budgetary cuts, the studio will not be able to offer any monetary compensation for any services rendered. Actors will also be required to provide their own wardrobe. However, the set will be fully catered and principle actors will each receive life-size Atreyu cut-outs, as well as a commemorative Auryn medallion cast in .999 silver culled from the mines of Silver City.
In the hope of a swift response,
Richard Parsons
Deerhunter's NeverEnding story continues tonight in Austria. The November date in Dresden will be prefaced by lunch with Wolfgang Peterson.
CAKE and The Sea and Cake to Tour Separately, As They’re Completely Unrelated
By Hanky Panky on Oct 25 2007
While it may be confusing for many to see schedules for both CAKE and The Sea and Cake posted this month, distinguishing them as separate entities is really quite easy.
For instance, CAKE are an alt-rock band formed in 1991 in Sacramento, CA. They have six albums, the latest of which is B-Sides and Rarities released earlier this month and comes packaged in a variety of scratch-n-sniff covers correlating to color: red/fresh cut roses, yellow/banana, brown/leather, green/fresh cut grass, and purple/grape. While touring in support of their latest B-Sides release, CAKE is also working on a live album entitled Live at the Crystal Palace, to be released some time this autumn.
The Sea and Cake are not.
In contrast, The Sea and Cake were formed in 1993 in Chicago. Just yesterday, while riding the bus, I tried to put my finger on their influences, but all I could nail was The Kinks, which puts them squarely in the "pop-rock" category. Hm. Their first full-length release in four years, Everybody (TMT Review), was released back in May, with a full 16-page booklet of liner notes and a set of three photo card insets. Everybody is presented as the band's seventh release to date, yet the first produced by someone besides Sea and Cake drummer John McEntire. While they probably switched producers in hopes of creating an entirely new sound that would re-interest the public in their work and earn them renown as "dynamic and experimental leaders of American pop," they instead proved their consistency by creating a work that sounds exactly like every other album they've released.
As should be apparent at this point, the word 'cake' is really all the two groups have in common. But, since cake (the food) is so delightful, it tends to blot out any meaning from the words around it. Thus "cake" is all we see or care about in "The Sea and Cake," and when it appears in all capitals as "CAKE," an ineffable sensation wells up from our very being, manifesting itself as a glassy-eyed grin on our round, little faces.
May this clarification inspire you to attend one or more of the following tours:
The Sea and Cake- 2007 tourdates:
Extra Golden Detained by Police for “Not Carrying Enough Money”
By Mr P on Oct 25 2007
On their way to the Vienna airport for the Stop Spot Festival in Linz scheduled this weekend, the Kenyan members of Extra Golden (Opiyo Bilongo, Onyango Wuod Omari, and Onyango Jagwasi) were detained by Parisian police for, according to their publicist, "not carrying enough money."
Despite having the proper visas and documentation, officials apparently didn't believe these three members were actually invited to play the festival. They were subsequently interrogated for "several hours." It took involvement with the Austrian and French embassies before the Stop Spot promoters were able to finally get the band back on a plane to Vienna.
I wonder if the white guys in Extra Golden (Alex and Ian) had any trouble arriving.
Anyway, despite this, the Stop Spot Festival will still take place this weekend and features an array of exciting artists, including Daniel Higgs, Peeesseye, Zu (they rule), and many others. Do check out Extra Golden's latest release for Thrill Jockey, Hera Ma Nono, and be sure to carry enough money on your next plane trip.
Xiu Xiu Release Details of New LP; How Can I get a Real Hot WF to Fart On My Face?
By Mr P on Oct 25 2007

See, we told you it was coming! What Mango didn't tell you, aside from some story about his boner, were the details of the release.
On January 29, Kill Rock Stars will release Xiu Xiu's latest full-length album, Women As Lovers. The 14-track album will largely consist of sounds from the live Xiu Xiu lineup (Jamie Stewart, Caralee McElroy, Ches Smith on drums, and Devin Hoff on bass), while one track, "Under Pressure," features the ever incorrigible, often mischievous, downright sexy Michael Gira, head dude of label Young God and The Angels of Light (latest album: We Are Him - TMT Review). Deerhoof's John Dieterich is on there somewhere too.
Additionally, the press release about Xiu Xiu's new album contains two quotes from Elfriede Jelinek, author of a book by the same title, Women As Lovers. According to internet biographies, Jelinek is an Austrian novelist, who has won a Nobel Prize in Literature laureate for her "musical flow of voices and counter-voices in novels and plays that with extraordinary linguistic zeal reveal the absurdity of society's clichés and their subjugating power."
Here's how Publishers Weekly described her book:
This brief, pitiless novel advances such a narrow, bleak vision of the human race that one wonders why its author, who apparently finds everything pointless, saw the point in writing it. In oddly punctuated, repetitive prose reminiscent of Gertrude Stein's but lacking Stein's energetic compassion, Jelinek's (Lust and The Piano Teacher) latest doesn't have much good to say about love or marriage or sex or babies. And for Paula and Brigette, these are the only escapes from a life -- if one can call it a life -- of sewing bras in a factory in the mountains of Austria. It's hard to imagine even the pretense of love in a marriage to a drunken lout like Erich, the rotting apple of his sad, miserable parents' eye, or to fat and stupid Heinz. What shallow, covetous creatures women are, is what Jelinek seems to say. It doesn't matter if they don't enjoy sex; they don't deserve it, and anyway, someday we'll all be dead.
I can't help but think of Xiu Xiu as I read through that.
Elfriede Jelinek seems very intriguing, her book sounds fantastic, and I can't fucking wait to hear the album! I'm officially excited.
Tracklisting:
1. I do what i want when i want
2. In lust you can hear the axe fall
3. F.T.W.
4. No friend oh!
5. Guantanamo canto
6. Under pressure (feat. Michael Gira)
7. Black keyboard
8. Master of the bump (Kurt Stumbaugh, i can feel the soil falling over my head)
9. You are pregnant, you are dead
10. The leash
11. Child at arms
12. Puff and bunny
13. White nerd
14. Gayle lynn