Bill Passed, Justice Secured; Team America Okays Intellectual Property Act, Instantaneously Halting All Subversive Pirate Activity Worldwide
By Hanky Panky on 03-13-2008
U.S. House of Representatives, those mighty elected representatives of the people, the powers that be, have battered their little gravels in a cacophonist chorus with such discrepant cries as "ASDKJAFDLKJ, YARRR!" And Hallelujah for that.
Presented with the Prioritizing Resources and Organization for Intellectual Property Act (PRO IP Act, HR 4279) earlier this week -- the bill originally called for a penalty of $30,000 per track (setting the fine of downloading Janet Jackson's 22 track Discipline at a total of $660,000), far exceeding the current maximum damages of $30,000 per compilation -- the Representatives in the house (what what, represent!) unanimously voted to amend the bill by throwing their hands in the air like the roof was on fire (they didn't need no water; let the motherfucker burn!) keeping the current $30,000 maximum compilation fine intact. Which will only set you back, say, a Honda Civic rather than the value of your entire life at a part-time minimum wage job.
Justice!
But really, I think the amendment was made in hoping to curb the temptation of shitty, on-the-downhill artists from prompting people to download their albums and then BLAM! Hitting them up for $660 grand, figuring that's a hell of a lot more than they would have made if you'd actually bought it at Wal-Mart.
"Whether it is still prudent to limit statutory damages when multiple works on a compilation have been infringed is a topic of ongoing conversations and subject matter for another day," said House Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers.
Sixty pages later, the PRO IP Act stipulates far more than maximum financial penalties. Ambiguous powers are to be extended to federal officials for the purpose of confiscating property, "including computer equipment used to commit intellectual property crimes or obtained as a result of those proceeds." Furthermore, officials will have the power to publicly humiliate criminals by tying them naked to a whipping pole in public, condemning them to hell, and executing the Raiders Of The Lost Ark-style heart-being-ripped-out-of-your-chest move, which they don't get to do very often these days.
But don't let that worry you. House officials say stipulations won't be so ambiguous as to target wholly innocent individuals. In fact, for any such fate to befall you, there would have to be substantial evidence linking the property/individual to the offense. You know, rather than dolling out the punishment because they kinda sorta think you might have maybe done it.
The bill will also create a Pirate-Busting taskforce, WHIPER (the White House Intellectual Property Enforcement Representative), the head of which will be the "president's principal adviser and spokesman for intellectual property matters."
"With this vote, Congress has taken the first legislative step toward enacting a common sense bill that closes needless loopholes in the copyright laws and provides more resources to the federal government and law enforcement to fully address intellectual property theft," says Mitch Glazier, RIAA executive VP of government and industry relations. "This is great news for the music community and all businesses that rely upon intellectual property laws."
Which means bad news for everyone else.
Nine Inch Nails’ $1.6 Million in First-Week Sales Amounts to 28¢ Per Volume?
By Mr P on 03-13-2008
Unlike Radiohead, who keep their lined pockets relatively hidden from public view, Nine Inch Nails want the world to know how much their industry-subverting shenanigans are worth. How? With a press release, of course. Including paid (and free) downloads and physical orders, Ghosts I-IV received 781,917 transactions, pulling in $1,619,420, according to a press release.
But if my calculations are right, this makes the average transaction roughly $2.07. Even more interesting is that if you minus the 2,500 "Ultra-Deluxe" versions that accounted for $750,000 of the total (and sold out within 24 hours), the remaining average price becomes roughly $1.12 per transaction. AND, if we take the average $1.12 per transaction price and spread it over four volumes (under the assumption that knowing the overall average per-volume price is even desirable), well, it amounts to about 28¢ -- 52¢ if you factor in the deluxe versions. Never mind the fact that these figures already ignore any costs involved.
HOWEVER (bum, bum, bummmm, etc), $1.6 million is $1.6 million, and NIN surely made more out of this than if they had released it through a major label. And while the per-transaction/volume average is pretty small when dissected like this, this is just first-week sales. The $10 2xCD set will be released physically in April, and the vinyl fetishists will get their chance then too. Obviously, Ghosts has to contend with the fact that all four versions (not just volume one) are now being shared free of charge, but as of now, hardcore NIN fans are happy, the casual NIN fans are happy, the curious music fans are happy, and NIN must be happy too: they just pulled in $1.6 million on a four-volume instrumental album. The only people unhappy are the industry heads who don't get a cut.
This is a little off-topic, and maybe it's due to my age, but whatever happened to the romantic idea of the starving artist? Am I the only one who wants to see these artists starve?
