It has taken me a long time to write this story due to my battle with Knucklitis, a rare disease in which the knuckles swell up ten times their normal size. I was also trying to reinstate my position as the number one TMT reporter with the best hair and journalistic integrity. As I failed on numerous hair styles, like the "white guy flattop," I began to research the truth behind the "indie rock" band Tapes and Tapes.
Now, before I go any further, this all may come as old news to savvy readers of the music scene. As much as I would like to be fresh with our readers, literally, I find reporting the honest truth as my most
important objective. To be honest, I knew I had heard the name Tapes and Tapes from somewhere. But where? I was on the case.
Firstifull, I used the top secret information database where TMT reporters find their information. It's Wikipedia, and it turned up no results. I was about to give up, until a TMT reader named anonymous sent me an e-mail tip that it's Tapes ‘n Tapes, not Tapes and Tapes. D'oh.
A new search for Tapes ‘n Tapes on the TMT database led me to information that the band is in fact a popular Minneapolis buzz band from the year 2006. Apparently, they had a successful album released in 2005 that later got the foreskin of blog dicks trembling in ‘06. The band got so big that the sacred cow Nissan had a Tapes ‘n Tapes song featured in a commercial. I remember none of this.
According to my research, Tapes ‘n Tapes will hit the road this spring in support of their upcoming album, Walk It Off, which is due April 8. Sources claim they sound like an accessible mixture of Pixies and Built Spill. Whatever. I feel like 2006 was a billion years ago. I blame my memory loss on my disease. Hopefully, these guys can prove to me that they are worth all the fame they gained in ‘06.
See what happens, folks, when you try to be the best reporter? You end up with a Nike sign shaved on the back of your head, with a hand full of hair gel and knuckles that flare up so large that they scrape your penis every time you masturbate.
My only regret is that I have Knucklitis; tourdates: