Wolf Parade to Tour, Fans to TMT: "Wait, Which Band Is That Again??"

Okay, people, listen up and listen good! I'm only going to say this ONCE:

- No, I do NOT know what Sunset Rubdown is doing this summer.
- No, I do NOT know what Frog Eyes have planned for the coming months.
- No, I do NOT have any information about Swan Lake's latest whatever-the-fuck
- No, I do NOT have any clue what Fifths of Seven are up to.

And No, Of Montreal’s not even from there...

So don't ask. Now, I don't want to hear more questions. Everybody GOT IT?

Good. With that out of the way, I can tell you that everyone's third or fourth favorite Canadian band Wolf Parade will be hitting the road this summer for the first time in a Montreal minute to play a healthy string (or a "parade," as a lesser journalist might quip) of shows across the U.S. and Canada!

The sudden flurry of wolf activity is definitely not because Spencer Krug is bored (a masochist, maybe, but not bored). Nope, the boys will actually be hitting the trail in support of their newest full-length effort, At Mount Zoomer -- their first, if you'll recall, since 2005's buzzed-about Apologies to Queen Mary -- which drops June 17 via Sub Pop.

Will the band's sophomore effort live up to the acclaim of their debut? Will the three-year wait between records hurt their gig turnouts?? Will Spencer Krug found another animal band???

Hey, I thought I said no more questions!

Canis lupus trail:

Common to Star in New Terminator Movie and Release New LP, Both of Which, We Should Hope, Are Completely Unrelated Or Else We May Be Getting a New LP From Commonator

Adding one more flick to his IMDB profile, Lonnie Rashid Lynn Jr. (a.k.a. Common) will be starring in the newest Terminator flick due in 2009. Common will star as a freedom fighter saving the world, kicking ass, doin' chix, and drinking whiskey out of his bible flask*, while the lead role goes to Josh Brolin (not the governor of California).

On the music front of things, Common will be dropping his eighth album, Invincible Summer June 24, and it'll be produced by The Neptunes and Mr. D.G. Substantial guest appearances on the album include Cee-Lo and Santogold. Billboard reports that the new album sounds "techno-inspired," while Common himself said that "This is the type of music [he] felt was missing from [his] body of work."

Still, Common is an eclectic sonuvabitch, and with techno hip-hop albums and Terminator roles, you wonder where this guy finds balance.

*Possible true. Most likely not.

Six Organs of Admittance Tour, Some Number Of Permissive Pianos Out To Represent

Until now, I've invoked my Fifth Amendment right in regards to who broke the organ in the garage, but it's confession time. Twas' me; I fucked it up.

It was late, and I was tripping on acid practicing my one-man, black-metal, psych-rock band act when, at the height of my ecstasy and with the volume cranked to 11 and pedals pumping, I leapt atop the organ and proceeded to jump up and down, smashing all the keys at once while screaming!

I think that's what did it. Don't expect that kind of behavior on the Six Organs of Admittance tour. I mean, they're good, but they're not that good.

Did you know Ben Chasny originally hailed from Eureka, CA? Fun little fact for ya:

HEALTH Tours; LA-Area Hoodie Retailers See Sales Decline Overnight

In a move sure to stun industry bigwigs and casual hispters alike, LA’s HEALTH has decided to tour -- this time on not one, but two continents. They’ve only been on, like, four tours in the past year, leading many to believe that they didn’t really care about touring anymore at all. The TMT office has been abuzz all day following the announcement. Jspicer leaned over my cubicle just a few minutes ago, not knowing how to react to the news.

“I was beginning to think they’d never tour again,” he told me. “This is such a relief. Now I finally have a chance to see them live.” One David Nadelle chimed in on his way to the copy room: “This gives me hope that maybe Of Montreal will tour again one day.” The odds are slim, David, but only time will tell.

Then we all got drunk:

Eric’s Trip, Les Thugs, And The Vaselines Lube Up Flaccid Sub Pop Festival Lineup

I stand by my previous statements regarding the SP20 Festival (TMT News), with one concession: things are shaping up. Really, though, The Vaselines (joined by members of Belle & Sebastian), Les Thugs, and Eric's Trip? It's like 1994 all over again, and if that wasn't the best year of your life, don't even talk to me. I'm already trying to fit into my acid-wash jeans with the massive thigh-holes under the back pockets that pretty much warrant them un-wearable.

And may I just say this about the epic Vs? They blow my mind. Coming together in 1986, they haven't been active for nearly 20 years, and their miracle appearance in July at SP20 will be their first ever U.S. performance. I didn't even think they were still alive. They have one album, one, and they broke up immediately after recording it (though you can hear a fuller catalog thanks to Sub Pop's 1992 compilation, The Way of The Vaselines: A Complete History, which I swore by in 7th grade).

Then there's Eric's Trip: Julie Doiron, Rick White, Mark Gaudet, Chris Thompson, Ed Vaughan, and no one named Eric -- a golden ’90s Canadian quintuplet who signed to Sub Pop in ’92, disbanded in ’96, and reunited for only a handful of shows in 2007.

Finally, we have Les Thugs. They're French and that's great.

So it's a question of math at this point. Do the sum of these bands necessitate your attendance? Let's find out. On Sunday, you have a lineup consisting of Flight of the Conchords, The Vaselines, Iron & Wine, Low, Fleet Foxes, Mudhoney, The Fluid, The Helio Sequence, Eric's Trip, Seaweed, and Pissed Jeans, for a total of 54% awesome. On Saturday, Green River, Wolf Parade, Beachwood Sparks, Les Thugs, Foals, No Age, Red Red Meat, Comets on Fire, Kinski, Grand Archives, and The Ruby Suns accrues only an 18% acceptability rating, for a two-day combined total of 36% good. Now, at a price of $50 for a two-day pass at approximately $2.27 per band, 64% which we've established aren't worth seeing, you're going to pay a total of $31.78 for music that you shouldn't, and will not, enjoy. Is that offset by the remaining $18.22 worth of music that you will enjoy? I don't know, I'm not your mother and, frankly, I have no interest in making that decision for you. That said, yes it does. The Vaselines, man. The Vaselines.

Built to Spill Announce Tour, Offer Empty Rhetoric About “Change”

Reading some quotes from Doug Martsch, frontman of Built to Spill, I can’t help but think that his speeches and promises are no different than other leading musicians — empty promises.

“I was convinced the American people wanted something new and different,” said Martsch in Beloit, WI, while explaining the announcement of his upcoming tour. “They didn’t want an announcement that was about tearing each other down. They wanted an announcement that was about lifting the country up. They were tired — you were tired of spin and PR and negative attacks instead of straight talk and honesty and offering practical solutions to our problems. The American people want change.”

What kind of change is he talking about? Just put any person onstage, and we'd be just fine. Change our album release policies? We’ve been doing that a lot in the past few months. Change touring policies? New touring policies are made and old policies are modified everyday as the geomusical climate changes. What “change” is Martsch talking about?

Built to Spill have scheduled some dates, including a performance of Perfect From Now On in its entirety at New York's ATP Fest, as we previously reported (TMT News), as well as a pre-ATP performance of the album, as reported by Pitchfork.

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