Women Rejoice! Lilith Fair without All the Straight Jokes and Pachouli: Cat Power, The Pretenders, and Juliette & The Licks Outdoor Tour It

By David Nadelle on Jun 10 2009

Normally our weekly office knee’s up has no problem getting into full swing, but last week’s was weird. We could have blamed it on the uneasy feelings surrounding the changing of the guard from Leno to Conan, but we really couldn’t care less about who hosts Late Night now that NBC didn’t choose our preferred replacement. Whatever the reason, whether known, unknown, or speculated, it sucked (someone mentioned something about their “monthlies” ruining early proceedings… I think it was Jon Lorenz). That is, it sucked until someone had the good grace to cue up Deastro’s upcoming Moondagger album (Ghostly International, out June 23). From that moment the night turned from Remains of the Day to Bachelor Party…

Here are Moondagger’s tracks and their corresponding mise-en-scènes during our bash:

1. Biophelia -- Kid Midnight drew a pistol and started firing shots into a vodka-infused watermelon, screaming, “That’s how the West was won, beotch!”
2. Parallelogram -- Annapocalypse and Kenny Bloggins, wearing a tiara and Boba Fett “Underoos”, respectively, shotgunned Sapporos and only talked gibberish.
3. Tone Adventure #3 -- Burke and Elzee competed for the title of “Best Skeet” with the staff’s fine ceramic phalli.
4. Toxic Crusaders -- Nobodaddy, to quote April Wine (and Hot Chocolate), “could have been alright, could have been here tonight, could have been sweet as wine, could have been a lady.” Sadly, he was none of these.
5. Greens, Grays, and Nordics -- Shelley Su yelled, “Who’s the piece-a-pooper who tied everyone’s shoes together!” before using the mess of shoes like a manriki to interrogate and whiplash our reviewing staff into confessing. Unfortunate for them, really, as the shoestring culprit was actually Mango Starr practicing his sailor's knots...
6. Day of Wonder -- Kasia Galaxy made white trash pad thai for everyone (Ramen noodles, peanut butter, Tabasco), then dished out block rockin’ beatings to anyone who wouldn’t eat it.
7. Pyramid Builders-- Hatchet had both asscheeks singed after maniacally performing blue angels out of the dumbwaiter.
8. Daniel Johnston Was Stabbed in the Heart with the Moondagger by the King of Darkness and His Ghost Is Writing this Song as a Warning to All of Us -- Did someone say they wanted to witness a circle jerk populated by Ze Pequeno, Liz Louche, and Couscous (a triangle jerk)? No one said it, but they saw it.
9. Rivers of Life -- Brom built a gazebo that was solid and dependable

10. Vermillion Plaza -- Heidi Vanderslice dropped $5.00 at the feet of “Bo-tae,” the blind, cockfighting rooster that we sponsor, and asked him to “bring the car around.”
11. Moondagger -- Kat Gardiner tongued this scary statue we bought on eBay (this happens at most TMT functions)

12. Kurgan Wave Number One -- Squeo, high on peanut skins, stopped everyone he walked past with a “nipple crippler” and his famous catchphrase, “Well, I don’t like golf, but I’m all for getting my balls washed!”
13. The Shaded Forests (Gift Giver’s Version) [bonus track] -- Everyone who I haven’t mentioned in this story sat in the corner and gave me stink-eye for not mentioning them

14. Tree Frog CD exclusive bonus track] -- [Mr. P streaked through the office giving random “drive-by shockers” (again, not an uncommon sight at one of our parties).

Such madcap scenes are bound to occur at any party that is soundtracked by the thoughtful electro-pop songs created by Randolph Chabot (Deastro to his parents). Try it yourself at home or, better yet, at one of the following live shows and see how things get swell and the venue suddenly fills with silly string dancers and billy goat gruffers. If that doesn’t sound cryptic enough, make sure to check out the cryptic 2010 dates taken from Deastro’s MySpace page. Click on each date at that page for important information on show details, ticket cost, and travel tips. Cheeky bastard!
06.10.09 - New York, NY - Mercury Lounge
06.12.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Studio B (Northside Festival) $
06.13.09 - Montréal, QC - Le Divan Orange
06.15.09 - Cleveland, OH - B-Side Lounge
06.16.09 - Toronto, ON - The Drake
06.17.09 - Chicago, IL - Double Door
06.18.09 - Minneapolis, MN - 7th Street Entry
06.21.09 - Vancouver, BC - Media Club
06.22.09 - Seattle, WA - The Vera Project
06.23.09 - Portland, OR - Holocene
06.24.09 - San Francisco, CA - Bottom of the Hill
06.25.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Spaceland
06.28.09 - Indianapolis, IN - The Vollrath
06.30.09 - Detroit, MI - The Magic Stick %
07.03.09 - Detroit, MI - City Fest
01.01.10 - Mercury, the Solar System Skyfest - Caloris Basin
01.02.10 - Venus, the Solar System Skyfest - Gula Mons
01.03.10 - Mars, the Solar System Skyfest - Valles Marineris
01.04.10 - Jupiter, the Solar System Skyfest - Genetropolis
01.05.10 - Saturn, the Solar System Skyfest - Titantica (on the moon Titan)
01.06.10 - Uranus, the Solar System Skyfest - The Outermost Epsilon Ring
01.07.10 - Neptune, the Solar System Skyfest - The Great Dark Spot
01.10.10 - Pluto and Charon, the Solar System Skyfest - Plutonia!
01.11.10 - Planet X - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
12.25.10 - In Outer Space, Detroit, MI

$ Michna, Lusine, Mike Servito

% Black Moth Super Rainbow