You Just Can't Go Wrong with a Shellac Tour!!

By Liz Louche on

Oftentimes something seems like a good idea that is really a bad idea. This can be detrimental not only to one's sense of satisfaction, but also to his or her pocketbook, self-esteem, waistline, etc. Now, I may not be an expert in, say, the national economy, the proper use of "lay" versus "lie," or which side of the street to park your car on during a Minneapolis snow emergency, but I can proudly profess to being good at distinguishing a stupid option from a good one. (Of course, this sense usually kicks in approximately one minute after I have been faced with the decision.) In the spirit of a thoroughly disappointing Wednesday, I would like to present:

Things that seem like they will be awesome but turn out not to be awesome

Versus

Things that seem like they will be awesome and then turn out to be totally awesome

A side-by-side comparison.

...

Things that seem like they will be awesome but turn out not to be awesome:

- Calling your credit card company when you notice a weird charge on your account and having the bank dude get all attitude-y.

- Ordering a cinnamon roll from the coffeeshop only to find it is stale and partially frozen.

- Realizing you don't have to work tomorrow, only to realize there's nothing to do tonight.

Things that seem like they will be awesome and then turn out to be totally awesome

- Shellac going on tour this spring.

- Shellac going on tour this spring to places I will not be, but which sound incredible and will probably totally enhance the lives of each and every member of Shellac.

- Steve Albini

* Allroh

You’re Cordially Invited to Theodore Francis “Ted” Leo’s Pre-St. Patrick’s Day Affair And The Subsequent Tourdates That Succeed It

By Annapocalypse on 02-29-2008

Dear friends, family, and strangers on the internet,

Theodore Francis “Ted” Leo hereby requests that you join him in celebrating the great St. Patrick:

Friday, the fourteenth of March, two thousand and eight

IBEW Local 103

Dorchester, Massachusetts

With special guests The Dropkick Murphys

and

Saturday, the fifteenth of March, two thousand and eight

Lowell Memorial Auditorium

Lowell, Massachusetts

With special guests The Dropkick Murphys

A reception will follow each performance.

Theodore also wishes to extend a warm welcome to those in Europe that are not able to join him for the St. Patrick’s day concerts. He requests the honor of their presence at his upcoming European performances during the spring of two thousand and eight:

Elliott Smith Memorial Wall Vandalized… Again

By Heidi Vanderslice on 02-29-2008

The wall featured in the background of Elliott Smith's Figure 8 album cover is actually part of a building that houses an electronics store called Solutions, located in Silver Lake, Los Angeles. Since Smith's 2003 suicide, the wall has transformed into a memorial to the songwriter, covered with scrawls bearing messages and poems. This past summer, however, an exemplary specimen of the human race decided his "artwork" was more worthy of the wall, obscuring the top half of the memorial with blue spray paint. Not long after, another aspiring artist decided that large bubble letters were the extra touch the wall needed, essentially ruining the memorial. What's next, a touch-up on the John Lennon wall in Prague?

A group of fans restored the wall this week, but all of the previous messages written to Smith have been lost. The owner of Solutions, Stephon Lew, is planning to create a monument in memoriam to Smith, following the original artistic theme of the wall:

These are my dreams: I plan to place an electronic object of importance….a 5 foot 7 inch tall monument (of Elliott’s size--with two loudspeakers at the base of the monument to represent his two big shoes) formed from crushed electronics parts---to play and to identify Elliott’s musical influences (Elliott’s hobby, I hear, was to experiment with electronics to make music tone)---to have the monument--emanate new energy and the many solutions that music can provide.

Sin And Degradation on Sunday; WFMU Pledge Drive Marathon With Yo La Tengo Murdering The Classics

By Hanky Panky on 02-28-2008

Listener supported radio WFMU calls it their 50th anniversary pledge drive, I call it a karaoke wet dream. Let us rejoice in an event that's primarily about you, your radio, and Yo La Tengo ruining your favorite songs over and over again.

Since 1996, Yo La Tengo and the gang have been taking pledger's requests and hurling themselves headfirst into reckless covers, a phenomenon immortalized in the group's 1996-2003 compilation Yo La Tengo Is Murdering The Classics, released on their own label Egon and available here.

While past WFMU pledge drive events have included DJs setting themselves on fire, self-inducing sickness on junk food, and getting Eagles tattoos, Yo La Tengo is hands down the highlight of the annual pledge-drive marathon. It's all for the cause.

Shh shh shhhhhh. No words. Just emotions.

This Sunday, March 2, on WFMU with hosts Gaylord Fields and Bob Brainen, 5-8 PM Eastern time. Stream it if you got it.

Animal Collective to Release New, Possibly Sexy EP

By Mango Starr on 02-28-2008

WARNING THIS SITE CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT!

This site contains material which is adult in nature and intended strictly for mature adults. All sex stories on Tiny Mix Tapes are fictional sexual fantasies and are published here for adult entertainment and artistic expression only! If you are not of legal age to view adult material in your area or you find pornography or any other type of Animal Collective material objectionable or obscene, please leave or close your web browser now. Tiny Mix Tapes and its owner(s) cannot and will not be held responsible for any content published on this website. If you proceed further, you accept full responsibility for your actions and consent to viewing adult material. Bookmarking, clicking beyond this page, or reading the Water Curses EP tracklisting means you fully understand and accept the conditions here.

Water Curses EP, to be released on Domino May 6:

* Kria Brekkan

[Photo: Adriano Fegundes]

M83 Tour and Release Saturdays = Youth; The Following Article = An Orgasm for Your Mind

By Emceegreg on 02-28-2008

Here at TMT, I am like the guy who sleeps on the couch and puts in little input. I don't even pay rent. Actually, I'm writing this right now in my Little Bill pajamas at the TMT offices in Brooklyn. As I twirl my hair with my grotesquely long penis*, I am thinking of what would make an article about M83 special.

I mean, what could I possibly say about M83, a.k.a. Anthony Gonzales, that hasn't been said before?

I could do the meticulous routine of mentioning that M83's fifth studio album Saturdays = Youth will be released April 15, and a U.S. tour will start five days after the release, beginning in Los Angeles.

I could make up a false, humorless story about how I am pissed that Gonzales stole his new album's title from me. I had a similar title for the first LP from my imaginary band, Pelvis Pressley, entitled Saturdays = Sodomy.**

I could try to write about a true life event that has absolutely nothing to do with the news article. For instance:

I had a dream last night I was at a night class for mentally handicapped newswriters. The teacher told a long story about how surfers sometimes have "maggot nests" attached to the ends of their boards. The teacher then told me to look up at the ceiling. I tried to look, but my head wouldn't move. I slapped my thigh, as it felt like there was a bug sucking the blood out of me. I woke up and found no bugs. I called cousin Dirk and told him about the dream because he is an avid surfer. He said that my dream was ridiculous, and then he told me he was busy visiting his girlfriend's family in Michigan. He said they lived right off of route M-83. I said, "Whoa!"***

Saturdays = Youth was produced by Ken Thomas and co-produced by Anthony Gonzales and Ewan Pearson. The single "Couleurs" was released February 26, with a remix by Jori Hulkkonen.****

* I always have to unnecessarily mention some form of the male anatomy in a news article.

** I commonly make up false stories that often result in a lame anecdote about butt sex.

*** I tend to turn my TMT articles into my own personal, "Who Give a Shit?" diary, where I try to resolve the story around the band. In this case, M83 is named after the planet, not the highway.

**** I vaguely remember what I was writing about in the first place, so I end with a couple of facts, and then I cry myself to sleep next an oiled-up and nude Mr P.

M83, you slay me -- tourdates:

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