You Might Be a Liar if You Read This News Story and Hint that You Didn’t Find it at Least as Indulgently Enjoyable as Drum’s Not Dead

Yew also might be a Liar if... you went to Disney's Wild Hogs and told your wife you “didn't really feel comfortable” with the skinny-dipping scenes

Yew might be a Liar if... you applied for a job as a satellite-dish installation expert after earning a journalism degree and told yourself you didn't feel like a total sell-out.

Yew might be a Liar if... you worked with Grant at a sporting-goods store and said you didn't take the money missing from the upstairs vault, all the while watching poor Grant get harassed by Rathdrum, Idaho police and forced to take a lie-detector test he knew from research would only be 60-70% accurate.

Yew might be a Liar if... you were to slate the release of your fourth, self-titled album for August 28.

Yew might be a Liar if... you told your wife your sleep-moaning last night wasn't the result of a dream about, to put it lightly, a case of Jungle Fever.

Yew might be a Liar if... you told your mom you didn't believe in God anymore and thus wouldn't be attending church when you really just wanted to watch football.

Yew might be a Liar if... you swore up-and-down to Rathdrum, Idaho police that you didn't steal the money... (but, you know, probably not).

Yew might be a Liar if... you said your upcoming album would be released care of white vinyl, CD, and digital formats.

Yew might be a Liar if... you told your boss on a long road trip that his karaoke-on-CD “sounded, you know, pretty good ... I mean, you know, not great, but it's good.”

Yew might be a Lair if... you assured your wife that the boxers she got you don't cramp your motzo balls.

Yew might be a Liar if... you said –- while you definitely didn't steal the money –- that you didn't at least steal a few batteries and a cool-ass butterfly knife from said sporting goods store.

Yew might be a Liar if... you said your new album is more “practical,” with traditional approaches to song structure and instrument usage.

You might be a Liar if... you said you didn't have to edit out a zillion “like” and “you know”s when you interviewed Karen O years ago.

Yew might be a Liar if... you said you didn't know how your DUI fees were magically paid off in full a few weeks after Grant successfully passed his lie-detector test.

Yew might be a Liar if... you said you didn't write this news post when you were supposed to be working.

Yew might be a Liar if... you said you “never felt like a songwriter” until you wrote the music for your aforementioned fourth album.

You might be a Liar if... you said you wouldn't prefer to read your music news without all the fancy-pants frills.

Yew might be a Liar (or something akin to one) if... you're one of the cud-chomping, redneck yahoos responsible for keeping lie-detector tests admissible in the Idaho court of law.

You might be a Liar if... you claimed bringing up Angus Andrews' lover isn't a cheap, all-in-all lousy thing to do.

You might be a Liar if... you said the tracklisting for your upcoming album is as follows:

You might be a Liar if... you claimed this news post wasn't about your life, down to the seediest detail.

EMI Defies Fate as Predicted on Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s Yanqui U.X.O., Bought Out By Terra Firma for $4.7 Billion; Sorry Warner Music Group

In my future fantasy world, I'm the professor of an advanced ethnomusicology course. After spending a considerable amount of the semester wading though The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Led Zeppelin, and Frank Zappa, we finally get to the part in the course where I'm something of an expert: post-rock — a genre typified by sometimes large music ensembles and often vocal-less, extended-length pieces, with instrumentation typified more so by European classical than by American rock 'n' roll.

I spend more time explaining how Tortoise evoke a sense of place — in this case, Chicago — with their mix of jazz and vocal-less, well, umm, post-rock. Either way, an entire class period is consumed with the playing of, first, "Djed" from Tortoise's Millions Now Living Will Never Die and second, "Rockets Fall on Rocket Falls," from Godspeed You! Black Emperor's Yanqui U.X.O. With the latter, I discuss how GY!BE evoke strong anti-government and protest sentiments with their crescendo-laden jams and field-recorded samples, not to mention their album artwork.

And so, just prior to playing the entire 20 minutes-plus "Rockets Fall on Rocket Falls," I show the class the back cover album art from Yanqui U.X.O, showcasing the major record labels' ties — through monetary contributions — to the military industrial complex (click the image above to see more, or buy the album).

In 2002, things were a bit different, the state of the music industry slightly less bleak. The majors consisted of Vivendi-Universal, Sony, BMG (currently one entity known as Sony BMG), AOL-Time Warner (now, just Warner Music Group), and EMI.

GY!BE, subversive as they were/are, chose to add EMI to the long list of AOL-Time Warner labels. They have since apologized for their oversight, stating that at the time they printed the album, Warner was in the process of acquiring EMI. And to Godspeed's credit, Warner was indeed in the process of acquiring EMI. Some might have predicted a Sony and BMG merger, but what we have all really been waiting for half a decade is for this damn EMI and Warner Music Group merger. Well, I don't think that's going to happen.

Announced Monday, private equity group Terra Firma purchased EMI for $4.7 billion. Apparently this equity group did something Warner Music Group didn't do, which is: "Terra Firma's offer is the most attractive proposal received and delivers cash now, without regulatory uncertainty and with the minimum of operational risk to the company," says EMI Chairman John Gildersleeve.

Terra Firma's CEO said the following of the purchase: " Terra Firma's objective is to build on EMI's current position as one of the world's leading music companies and accelerate the development of its digital and online strategy to fully exploit this long-term growth opportunity."

Did you catch the joke about "long-term growth opportunity?" Well, anyway, none of that trust-busting bullshit; the deal is legit, just gotta show up with the cash. Meanwhile, The Financial Times reports that Warner is already in talks with Terra Firma and other private equity groups about acquiring the recorded music division of EMI once the sale is complete (and rumor has it they are still considering raising their bid), and another equity firm, One Equity Partners, is also expected to make a bid. EMI's gotta be blushing by now.

EMI Defies Fate as Predicted on Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s Yanqui U.X.O., Bought Out By Terra Firma for $4.7 Billion; Sorry Warner Music Group

In my future fantasy world, I'm the professor of an advanced ethnomusicology course. After spending a considerable amount of the semester wading though The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Led Zeppelin, and Frank Zappa, we finally get to the part in the course where I'm something of an expert: post-rock — a genre typified by sometimes large music ensembles and often vocal-less, extended-length pieces, with instrumentation typified more so by European classical than by American rock 'n' roll.

I spend more time explaining how Tortoise evoke a sense of place — in this case, Chicago — with their mix of jazz and vocal-less, well, umm, post-rock. Either way, an entire class period is consumed with the playing of, first, "Djed" from Tortoise's Millions Now Living Will Never Die and second, "Rockets Fall on Rocket Falls," from Godspeed You! Black Emperor's Yanqui U.X.O. With the latter, I discuss how GY!BE evoke strong anti-government and protest sentiments with their crescendo-laden jams and field-recorded samples, not to mention their album artwork.

And so, just prior to playing the entire 20 minutes-plus "Rockets Fall on Rocket Falls," I show the class the back cover album art from Yanqui U.X.O, showcasing the major record labels' ties — through monetary contributions — to the military industrial complex (click the image above to see more, or buy the album).

In 2002, things were a bit different, the state of the music industry slightly less bleak. The majors consisted of Vivendi-Universal, Sony, BMG (currently one entity known as Sony BMG), AOL-Time Warner (now, just Warner Music Group), and EMI.

GY!BE, subversive as they were/are, chose to add EMI to the long list of AOL-Time Warner labels. They have since apologized for their oversight, stating that at the time they printed the album, Warner was in the process of acquiring EMI. And to Godspeed's credit, Warner was indeed in the process of acquiring EMI. Some might have predicted a Sony and BMG merger, but what we have all really been waiting for half a decade is for this damn EMI and Warner Music Group merger. Well, I don't think that's going to happen.

Announced Monday, private equity group Terra Firma purchased EMI for $4.7 billion. Apparently this equity group did something Warner Music Group didn't do, which is: "Terra Firma's offer is the most attractive proposal received and delivers cash now, without regulatory uncertainty and with the minimum of operational risk to the company," says EMI Chairman John Gildersleeve.

Terra Firma's CEO said the following of the purchase: " Terra Firma's objective is to build on EMI's current position as one of the world's leading music companies and accelerate the development of its digital and online strategy to fully exploit this long-term growth opportunity."

Did you catch the joke about "long-term growth opportunity?" Well, anyway, none of that trust-busting bullshit; the deal is legit, just gotta show up with the cash. Meanwhile, The Financial Times reports that Warner is already in talks with Terra Firma and other private equity groups about acquiring the recorded music division of EMI once the sale is complete (and rumor has it they are still considering raising their bid), and another equity firm, One Equity Partners, is also expected to make a bid. EMI's gotta be blushing by now.

At TMT, we pride ourselves on our make-'em-or-break-'em powers. On a daily (hell, hourly) basis, the fate of so many artists rests in the clammy palms of our taste-making hands that sometimes we're overwhelmed. We've all learned that $500-million lesson about the relationship between power, responsibility and all that dribble, but the bottom line is that it's difficult. Sometimes we're forced to just roll the dice on an artist, and it ends up paying off for us both. I mean, come on, do you really think we've ever heard a whole Björk record? But we gave her the go ahead and sister just caught on. We come out looking like we've got the foresight, and now she's got the big video budgets. Like I said, it's win-win. But sometimes, you hear something and you just know.

David Bowie is that kind of performer. This guy is a phenomenon waiting to happen. Just look at the guy! That hair, those suits... those nostrils. The look screams success. Plus, I hear he rolls with TV On The Radio and The Arcade Fire. Anyway, so homeboy's putting out two (2!) albums June 5 and had the balls to call one of them The Best of David Bowie 1980-1987. Irony's one thing and retro's another, but I smell Best New Music. The second CD is called Young Americans, and this guy must've enlisted Girl Talk to work some mash-up magic because he's rolling with John Lennon AND Luther Vandross. But don't think this man can't rep the 21st century, as both CDs come with DVDs. Throwback style with a fresh twist; the kids'll eat this up.

Here at Tiny Mix Tapes, you hear it first:

Young Americans: Special Edition (CD/DVD):

Physical World Only A Secondary Reality, Knowledge Of It Bound To Be Imprecise; Shapes And Sizes Still Plan “The National They Shoot Horses” Tour

Socrates: Now, let us consider the shapes and sizes of our mortal bodies in relation to the shape and size of the universe.

Timaeus: Yes, that would be wise.

Socrates: Well, it seems to me that the gods copied the shape of the universe and fastened the two divine orbits of the soul into a spherical body, which we now call the head, the divinest part of us, which controls all the rest.

Critias: I agree.

Socrates: It follows, then, that they put together the body as a whole to serve the head, knowing that it would be endowed with all the varieties of motion there were to be. And to prevent the head from rolling about on the earth, unable to get over or out of its many heights and hollows, they provided that the body should act as a convenient vehicle.

Glaucon: Quite right, but what of the body that desires to view Shapes and Sizes at a distant setting?

Socrates: Well, the gods hold that the front is more honorable and commanding than the back, so they made us move, for the most part, forward. So it was necessary to distinguish the front of man's body and make it different from the back; and to do this they placed the face on this side of the sphere of the head, and fixed in it organs for the soul's forethought, and arranged that this, our natural front, take the lead as it carries us into the Beachland Ballroom, limbs and soul-stuff flailing to the sound of the beat.

Adeimantus: My dear Socrates, you took the words right out of my mouth. Yet where shall those in distant lands fi--

* The National

& They Shoot Horses Don't They

Thrasymachus: Alright, thanks.

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