Do you have a problem? Are you under-employed?? Have you been labeled a ‘drug addict’ by the man??? Well, then you’re sure to have the time of your life when the legendary Flaming Lips hit the stage at a drug-addled hippie-festival near you this summer!
Congratulations, man, it’s never been more coincidentally beneficial for you to be a country-fried drain on society who enjoys listening to spaced-out psychedelia and not working for a few days! Just think, all you have to do is trick your mom into giving you her credit card number, gather yourself a die-hard posse, make sure at least one of those posse members has a tent you can use, score the necessary “supplies,” quit your night job at the marshmallow factory, and BOOM. You’re right there, bubble machines, animal costumes, laser shows, and all!
And, as a bonus, if you’re fucked up enough by the time Wayne Coyne and crew take the stage, you might not even mind when they play a bunch of C+ cuts from 2006’s spotty At War with the Mystics (TMT Review)! Wow!
Yeah, I said it. Hear that, Wayne? Step it up, bro.
The dates bulletin:
- Oxford (noun): Oxfordshire, a city in England, famous for its university.
- Oxford Shoe (noun): a style of leather shoe with enclosed lacing.
- Oxford Shirt (noun): a men's shirt with a collar, a full-length opening up the front from the collar to the hem, and full-length sleeves with cuffs.
- Oxford Comma (noun): See “Songs By Overhyped Indie Rock Bands,” page 312.
- Oxford Clay (noun): a Jurassic marine sedimentary rock underlying much of South East England.
- Oxford Collapse (noun): a Brooklyn indie rock band on Sub Pop that has a new double album, BITS, BITZ!, due August 5. Please see the appendix for their tourdates.
Northwest DC park Fort Reno, home to the Fort Reno Summer Concert Series, is on indefinite hiatus. According to a notification by the National Park Service, high levels of arsenic was found in the soil around the park, so it is now closed for further testing and inspection. Consequently, the concert series -- run by Amanda MacKaye (Ian MacKaye's sister) -- is in limbo (not "doing the limbo") for this year.
This comes at an especially damaging time, as the folks at Fort Reno just began a campaign asking for donations to raise funds for a sound system and stage maintenance. They are still actively seeking donations, but are unsure whether or not they need to find a new venue to hold the free concert series or to wait until the park is open again.
According to a post on Fort Reno's website: "We know we're asking you to donate for concerts that might not happen this year. Think of it as a donation for all the rock of years gone by. We stay dedicated to bringing the music to the people and you can be sure all donations will go to that cause -- be it at Fort Reno, some new venue, or something wholly new."
Sounds fair to me! You can donate online here.
(Thanks Jeff Jetton for the tip!)
A rock star may receive the honor of a guitar bearing her or his illustrious name. A festival may be named after a rock star who just so happens to attract fans of the Confederate flag. But come on, did you really think Neil Young would settle for that? He's got his own SPIDER, bitches, and it's going to come after you in the night with its big, bushy eyebrows:
The new species of trapdoor spider was discovered by East Carolina University biologist Jason Bond, who explains, "As long as [the] rules are followed, you can give a new species just about any name you please. With regards to Neil Young, I really enjoy his music and have had a great appreciation of him as an activist for peace and justice."
Myrmekiaphila neilyoungi lives in a burrow and builds a trapdoor to protect itself from predators, stealthily waiting underneath for its prey, and then leaps out to drag the unfortunate victim back into its lair.
Hang on a second... this just in! Neil Young has reportedly built a new underground home directly outside the doorway of America's largest factory farm owner. More on this story as it develops.
Back in 2002, I regretfully started a band called Stereo Labrador and the Funk Fries. This band consisted of me pressing a button on a TalkBoy that played a sample of a timpani and a pan flute and my black Labrador, Pauly Shore, who went back and forth on the stage on a skateboard, with a boom box Duct-taped to his back.
One show was accidentally booked as Stereolab, and let's just say that a lot of people were pissed. The real band should have sued me. But they didn't, and here I am today, a free man, to tell you about the anticipated release of the group's newest album, Chemical Chords.
Chemical Chords will be released August 19 in the U.S. (August 18 outside of the U.S.) on Duophonic UHF Disks/4AD. Featuring 13 songs by Laetitia Saider and Tim Gane, the album marks the first proper release of new material since 2004's Magerine Eclipse.
Chemical Chords tracklist:
$ performing Perfect From Now On in its entirety
Before recording their newest album, Keep Your Eyes Ahead, The Helio Sequence’s Brandon Summers lost his voice, which pretty much is the worst thing to happen to a singer I’d imagine. Thankfully, he regained it by singing along to Bob Dylan songs and teaching himself to sing like Dylan. So, the question remains, if you lost your voice and had to teach yourself to sing again by only listening to one singer, who would it be and why? All answers must be in essay form, 3-5 pages, 12 point Times New Roman font. Papers are due in class on May 15.
My god Billie Joe is cute. It is in this spirit that I report that the members of Foxboro Hot Tubs, most well-known for not fooling anyone but themselves, have announced a handful of dates to promote the release of Stop, Drop and Roll (TMT Review). Tickets are $20 and only available at the venue on the day of the show.
Billie Joe really does make my teeth sweat.
You know what's awesome about Nick Cave? (Well, besides that unbelievable mustache he's been cultivating.) He and his unassailable band, the Bad Seeds, really do-up a world tour right! Unlike your average American laze-abouts who, aside from a few Canadian engagements, are content to flaunt their sound-o'-the-month around a few UK universities and call it a day, Cave and co. are takin' their highbrow garage-funk tunes to the streets, playing cuts from their most recent beatnik ball-buster Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!! (TMT Review) everywhere from Denmark to Croatia to Vienna to Serbia (and even a few places in between) before they even bother to grace the U.S. in the fall.
That's dedication, my friends! Ain't no one else I know rollin' up to Belgrade to play a rock show anytime soon. That's right, not even Thom "via satellite" York. That's rock ‘n’ roll! That's what you call, as Royal Tenenbaum so eloquently put it, "takin' it out, and choppin' it up"! Way to go, Nick Cave! That's what you call a T-O-U-R tour.
But you know what sucks about Nick Cave? Finding the two-letter abbreviations for all of those damn countries to format his goofy-ass tourdates!! Come on, Nick, have a heart. The tourdate kid is off today! Something about a "senior class trip" to the state capital or some shit...
Helloooo, carbon emissions: