Lightning Bolt Tour the World, But Inevitably Discover What They Were Searching For Was Right There Sitting Next To Them Jerking Off

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But first! Quotes about Lightning Bolt from the press:

- "They’re viciously technical and brilliantly retarded and they’ve made my ears bleed on no less than three occasions." --Stylus

- "What blessed bastardry is this? It's bloody brilliant, that's what it is." --Playlouder

- "So it seems that Lightning Bolt have managed to do what many would have deemed impossible: They've created a hard rock album centered around the bass that doesn't suck." --Pitchfork

- "If what this drums-and-bass duo does with infernal noise is your thing, you're a pretty happy camper." --Entertainment Weekly

- "Stellar noise pollution." --Mojo

- "Underneath all the scuzz and spasm, though, they're a groove band, hustling a hard-edged experimentalism you don't have to work hard to enjoy." --Village Voice

- "When I play this behemoth of a record, all of my relativistic critical bullshit goes bye-bye." --Tiny Mix Tapes

No new album, yet. Sorry:

* USAISAMONSTER

$ Shellac and Pissed Jeans

Atmosphere’s Slug and Ant Hit the Road to Paint the Nation Gold… With Their Lemons?

Atmosphere, made up of frontman Slug and DJ Ant, will hit the road September 10 in support of their newest LP, When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold. Joining the group on the "Paint The Nation" tour are special guests Abstract Rude, Blueprint, and DJ Rare Groove.

The tour will probably hit a city near you -- just be sure to stay tuned for the second leg of tourdates.

Get a Room, You Two! Another Kieran Hebden and Steve Reid Collaboration Is on Its Way

September is always a month full of strange changes. With the anxiousness and/or ambivalence that the end of summer and beginning of a new school year brings (as opposed to just another fall season at your dead-end, suicide-contemplating job), it's comforting to be able to count on a couple of upcoming certainties that will indubitably ease the mind. Mere minutes ago, it would have seemed doubly silly to assume that:

(a) the Bratz Design Academy reality show would actually come to fruition. And that...

(b) Kieran Hebden and Steve Reid would be putting out another collaborative affair.

But, alas, for lovers of tween tart self-esteem destruction (or empowerment, as the Bratz brass would like you to believe) and inspired musical adventures, both momentous events will soon be upon us!

Reid and Hebden will release their fourth album through Domino Records November 18. Entitled NYC, it is an ardent ode to the Big Apple, Reid’s long-standing home and Hebden’s frequent flight destination. “Everything we did when making the record from choosing the studio to the food we ate to mixing the sounds to the order of tracks was done with New York in mind,” states Hebden. Rumors that the two ate at Happy Taco everyday, cussed each other out constantly, and littered the storied Avatar studio in Manhattan with piss-stained newspaper to give the recording that authentic New York feel are unsubstantiated at post time.

NYC F.Y.I.:

1. Lyman Place
2. 1st and 1st
3. 25th Street
4. Arrival
5. Between B & C
6. Departure

The duo will be playing two rare dates in December. Look here (not here... below here):
12.12.08 - New York, NY - (Le) Poisson Rouge
12.14.08 - Philadelphia, PA - International House

Citay Announce Tourdates, Appear On New WFMU Compilation, Are Further Proof That San Francisco Is The New Baltimore

I hate it when rock critics proclaim a different city each month as the new musical hot spot. Yes, there are great bands in Omaha, Montreal, Seattle, and Baltimore, but there are great bands all over this country. Take, for example, San Francisco, a city that hasn’t been on the rock critic radar much lately but is, of course, still producing some amazing bands. Citay, signed to Dead Oceans, are one of those bands. And do you know what's cool? This past spring, Citay visited WFMU for their second session and performed the song “On The Wings,” which has been included on a FREE WFMU compilation, Selected Sounds From The Free Music Archive Vol. 1.

Citay are touring this fall, so if you live in one of the seven states they’re playing in, do yourself a favor and check them out.

It’s Friday, and Bat for Lashes, Jesu, Indian Jewelry, and The Dandy Warhols Are in Love; The Cure Tribute Album Brings Out the Lovecopycats

The cliché “youth was served” gets turned on its ear more and more, now that octogenarian rockers still seem fit enough to get off their sagging rumps to regroup. The Cure have been pancaking their wrinkly asses and serving troubled teens and dark adults tales black bile for over 30 years now. Fittingly, a new tribute double album will celebrate the music of the long-running band. Perfect as Cats: A Tribute to The Cure will be released October 28 on Manimal Vinyl and proceeds from its sales will go toward benefiting the Invisible Children organization.

Disc One:

1. Xu Xu Fang - "Fascination Street"
2. Bat for Lashes - "A Forest"
3. Hecuba - "Killing an Arab"
4. Astrid Quay (of Winter Flowers) - "The Caterpillar"
5. Indian Jewelry - "The Walk"
6. Rainbow Arabia - "Six Different Ways"
7. We Are The World - "Why Can't I Be You?"
8. blackblack - "In Between Days"
9. Rio en Medio - "Pictures of You"
10. Gangi - "Fire in Cairo"
11. Joker's Daughter - "Kyoto Song"
12. Aquaserge with Laure Briard - "10.15 Saturday Night" (in French)
13. The Muslims - "Grinding Halt"
14. Voyager One - "M"
15. Ex-Reverie - "The Hanging Garden"
16. Caroline Weeks (of Bat for Lashes) - "The Drowning Man"
17. Devastations - "All Cats Are Gray"

Disc Two:

1. The Dandy Warhols - "Primary"
2. Veil Veil Vanish - "The Upstairs Room"
3. Wolkfin (ex-Junior Senior) - "Charlotte Sometimes"
4. Army Navy - "Jumping Someone Else's Train"
5. Ich Bin Aiko - "A Strange Day"
6. Lemon Sun - "The Exploding Boy"
7. Corridor - "The Kiss"
8. Katrine Ottosen (CALLmeKAT) - "The Love Cats"
9. Silver Summit - "A Night Like This"
10. Mariee Sioux - "Love Song"
11. Kaki King - "Close to Me"
12. Buddy - "Sugar Girl"
13. Les Bicyclettes Blanches - "Hot Hot Hot!"
14. Tara Busch - "Let's Go to Bed"
15. Jesu - "The Funeral Party"
16. Sarabeth Tucek - "Three Imaginary Boys"
17. Lewis & Clarke - "Disintegration"

It seems The Cure is the band to cover if one wants to bring in the charity bucks. Due September 13 is a remix EP called Hypnagogic States, which features mixes of The Cure’s four singles from their forthcoming album by the who’s who of new goth pin-ups. Royalties from the EP will go to the International Red Cross. The fifth track, “Exploding Head Syndrome” by 65 Days of Static, is a remix incorporating all four singles in one.

1. Jared Leto (30 Seconds to Mars) - “The Only One”
2. Jade Puget (A.F.I.) - “Freakshow”
3. Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance) and Julien-K- “Sleep When I’m Dead”
4. Pete Wentz & Patrick Stump (Fall Out Boy) - “The Perfect Boy”
5. 65 Days of Static - “Exploding Head Syndrome”

Admirers are all fine and good, but The Cure themselves are indeed still around and are attempting to adapt to these modern times, where men apply their lipstick and black nail polish in an altogether less haphazard fashion. October 13 (not a Friday) is the due date for The Cure’s 13th album due on Suretone/Geffen. On August 13, the band released “The Perfect Boy,” the fourth single released on the 13th day during the past four months. Um, am I the only one catching this blatant superstition side-stepping? Does The Cure care that witch covens in the Middle Ages always had 13 members? Do they disagree with the Romans, who associated the number with death and destruction? Have they ever heard of the last supper? Obviously not. The album is now to be titled 4:13 Dream and will feature all recent singles plus a lot of songs (possibly a double album?), judging by Robert Smith's recent comments online.

In even more Cure-related news: there’s an album out by someone named Charlotte Sometimes. That is all.

Disc Makers Births a CD Baby; Watch Out Google!

Oh mergers are so fun. You know, companies merge, un-merge, re-merge, then de-merge; it’s really a spectator sport for the ages. So, coming hot on the recent news that Sony Music and Bertelsmann were un-merging (TMT News), everyone’s favorite full-service CD and DVD manufacturer, replicator, and duplicator Disc Makers has gone ahead and acquired everybody’s favorite still-cool-but-no-longer-so-little independent music retailer, CD Baby.

According to CD Baby founder Derek Sivers’ blog, “the CD Baby staff, location, name, and everything else will stay the same, but I think you’ll start to notice more attention given to improvements that help you sell more music.” So nothing’s going to change at all? I’m still bitter over what Vivendi did to MP3.com after they bought that, so allow me room for skepticism, but here’s hoping that Disc Makers keeps it classy and doesn’t turn CD Baby into something like this. Do us proud, Disc Makers, do us proud.

Disc Makers Births a CD Baby; Watch Out Google!

Oh mergers are so fun. You know, companies merge, un-merge, re-merge, then de-merge; it’s really a spectator sport for the ages. So, coming hot on the recent news that Sony Music and Bertelsmann were un-merging (TMT News), everyone’s favorite full-service CD and DVD manufacturer, replicator, and duplicator Disc Makers has gone ahead and acquired everybody’s favorite still-cool-but-no-longer-so-little independent music retailer, CD Baby.

According to CD Baby founder Derek Sivers’ blog, “the CD Baby staff, location, name, and everything else will stay the same, but I think you’ll start to notice more attention given to improvements that help you sell more music.” So nothing’s going to change at all? I’m still bitter over what Vivendi did to MP3.com after they bought that, so allow me room for skepticism, but here’s hoping that Disc Makers keeps it classy and doesn’t turn CD Baby into something like this. Do us proud, Disc Makers, do us proud.

Disc Makers Births a CD Baby; Watch Out Google!

Oh mergers are so fun. You know, companies merge, un-merge, re-merge, then de-merge; it’s really a spectator sport for the ages. So, coming hot on the recent news that Sony Music and Bertelsmann were un-merging (TMT News), everyone’s favorite full-service CD and DVD manufacturer, replicator, and duplicator Disc Makers has gone ahead and acquired everybody’s favorite still-cool-but-no-longer-so-little independent music retailer, CD Baby.

According to CD Baby founder Derek Sivers’ blog, “the CD Baby staff, location, name, and everything else will stay the same, but I think you’ll start to notice more attention given to improvements that help you sell more music.” So nothing’s going to change at all? I’m still bitter over what Vivendi did to MP3.com after they bought that, so allow me room for skepticism, but here’s hoping that Disc Makers keeps it classy and doesn’t turn CD Baby into something like this. Do us proud, Disc Makers, do us proud.

Disc Makers Births a CD Baby; Watch Out Google!

Oh mergers are so fun. You know, companies merge, un-merge, re-merge, then de-merge; it’s really a spectator sport for the ages. So, coming hot on the recent news that Sony Music and Bertelsmann were un-merging (TMT News), everyone’s favorite full-service CD and DVD manufacturer, replicator, and duplicator Disc Makers has gone ahead and acquired everybody’s favorite still-cool-but-no-longer-so-little independent music retailer, CD Baby.

According to CD Baby founder Derek Sivers’ blog, “the CD Baby staff, location, name, and everything else will stay the same, but I think you’ll start to notice more attention given to improvements that help you sell more music.” So nothing’s going to change at all? I’m still bitter over what Vivendi did to MP3.com after they bought that, so allow me room for skepticism, but here’s hoping that Disc Makers keeps it classy and doesn’t turn CD Baby into something like this. Do us proud, Disc Makers, do us proud.

Foot Village Pack Up Their Tough Actin’ Tanactin and Tour Europe

As moose hunter and squirrelly white guy court doe-eyed Moral Majoritites all across America, a delegation of sovereign citizens from California’s Foot Village will hold a series of diplomatic drum symposiums in a selection of European countries. Foot Village’s public will no doubt enthrall the throngs of assorted counts, marquises, and burghers (perhaps the occasional wretched serf as well) in attendance with their vicious addresses on rhythm, delivered always in incommodious thumps and brazen, regal screams.

Foot Village has left the comfort of their home soil in order to support their latest treaty, Friendship Nation (TMT Review), composed earlier this year in direct violation of several Geneva Convention accords. Nevertheless, the citizens will be absent from local administrative duties for the duration of their sojourn, so please suspend any scheduled dissents or demonstrations until Foot Village is available to properly stomp on your petty grievances. Vox populi, non est vox dei.

[Photo: Dalton]