Some people believe the year 2012 will bring about great changes for those of us dwelling here on planet Earth. From alien buffs to Mayan calendar devotees to the London Olympics planning committee, there can be no doubt that millions of people all over the world are expecting something utterly astonishing and life-altering to occur. And while predictions about what exactly will occur in 2012 may differ, each theory is united by one underlying quality... that of being totally, completely wrong.
I'm not trying to harsh on the people hoping for the awakening of an enlightened global consciousness. This could very well happen, but much sooner than the sages have predicted and for a much different reason! You see, in a recent Billboard interview, Kevin Haskins, drummer for seminal goth-rock acts Love and Rockets and Bauhaus, has revealed the release date for the brand new and final Bauhaus studio album!!! The album, titled Going Away White, is due for digital and CD release on March 4, 2008, on the band's Bauhaus Music imprint via Redeye Distribution. Clearly this piece of information had been overlooked by the ancient Mayans, or they would have made some very different predictions.
The historical significance of this event is indisputable. Bauhaus reunited in 2005 for a performance at the Coachella music festival and later went on to spread the good word of goth around the world. The band went to work in the studio "with nothing prepared," but is now excited to release an album Haskins says will fit comfortably within the Bauhaus oeuvre. Unfortunately, Bauhaus will not be touring in support of the record. "We were getting along really well, but there was an incident that occurred," Haskins cryptically explained to Billboard.com. "Some of us just felt that we didn't want to carry on as a working unit."
Going Away White includes the new tracks "Adrenaline" and "Endless Summer of the Damned," which Bauhaus first showcased on their 2006
tour with Nine Inch Nails. I hope that you'll agree with me that based
on this news, and a careful numerological analysis of the song titles, mankind can now expect a truly momentous event to occur in 2008, and
not in 2012 as many people have incorrectly predicted. It will be on March 4, 2008 when we can expect a brilliant awakening. The signs may not be obvious, but when the streets become crowded with more and more people dressed entirely in black, when radio once again resounds with the swirling guitars of Bauhaus, we will all know that the world has become a better, if darker place.
Going Away White tracklist:
Listen, I talked to Arthur and he said... Yu hadn't even heard about the tour? Were Yu kidding when Yu told him that? He said he assumed Yu were at first, but that Yu kept saying weird stuff, like "Listen, I'm not Yu... I mean I like your music, the music you and Yu make, I've listened to this year's In Camera (TMT Review) quite a bit, but that doesn't make me part of the band. Please stop calling me." Are Yu reading the transcript of what Yu said to Arthur? Are Yu embarrassed? Because Yu're making almost no sense. Like, I get it. I get that the pressure of being in a band, combined with the pressure of opening for Iron and Wine, is making Yu look for an escape, an easy way out. But I'm telling Yu, just as my grandparents told me: if Yu don't try something new every once in a while, Yu'll never discover how much Yu're capable of.
And I'm being honest when I tell Yu that Yu have an incredible amount of talent, so it makes me sad to see Yu acting like this. I've heard In Camera just like the others, and with an album like that behind Yu, all these doubts and evasions are ridiculous. Look me in the eye: Yu are a singular musician. Now get Yur gear packed, stop throwing Yur hands up and shaking Yur head like Yu can't believe that I would be sincere or something, and show the world all Yu've learned throughout Yur rigorous musical training.
Arthur & Yu & Iron & Wine & Audience:
I know what you're thinking. The New England Patriots are monsters. Going for it on fourth down when they already have an insurmountable lead. Keeping Tom Brady in the game to push for a margin of victory over 50 points. Etc. etc. What willll they do next? The thing is, this is just what the NFL needs. No one wants to watch the squeaky-clean white bread Colts win again. Snooze Bowl XLII. Yeah Peyton Manning is funny in those Mastercard commercials (or whatever it is he's advertising), but he is boring. And Marvin Harrison, maybe he's one of the best, but come on, he's lame. Bob Sanders, their supposed feared defensive dood is the only potential scare factor, and even he is inconsistent. So give me the Patriots, give me the Mötley Crüe of football. It is just too bad Tom Brady is so cute.
Now, I really know what you're thinking. What does any of this have to do with Black Mountain? Well, I am a bit of a rebel, much like my partners the Patriots. Keep it on the ‘dl,’ but I got a sneak peak of this album, and it's pretty fucking good. So good I plan to buy it, the ‘it’ being In the Future (released on Jagjaguwar, based out of my home state Indiana!) on January 22, 2008 when it is officially released.
If my telepathic trend is continuing on point, I know, yet again, what you are thinking. What if I can't wait to hear the new stuff? Well, my dedicated readers, no need to worry. Black Mountain are much nicer than the Patriots and have scheduled a handful of shows out west. We can only assume their reluctance to venture east is because of The New England Patriots. Though, as I have already made it clear, the bad guys are a necessity. They are essentially pushing us for the American Dream. How you ask? Yeah, I really don't know; I just thought that'd sound good. What?
Fourth and one. Go for it!
Tonight, they play the Portishead-curated ATP, in February they play:
$ Howlin' Rain
Universal Music Group Proves To Us Once More That It Ain’t Givin’ Up On Its War Against The Internet By Barring UMG Artists on MySpace From Posting Full-length Versions Of Their Songs
Universal Music Group is hellbent on sedating the inevitable. Time and time again, it never ceases to deliver when it comes to conservatism/ignorance. Whether it's intolerance of file-sharing or the inability to give up on DRM, the group is always stirring up trouble that only hurts and embarrasses itself.
One of the newest and more questionable actions from UMG is exemplified in a message sent from Universal artist, Colbie Caillat. In this message, Colbie apologizes to her fans by writing:
Due to circumstances beyond my control I have to swap the songs out on my [MySpace] page for 90 second versions instead of full length versions. In fact some of the songs have already been swapped as I write this.
That's right, Colbie Calliat and every other Universal artist are now prohibited from posting full-length versions of "their" songs on any third-party site that is not directly affiliated and/or in a contract with UMG. According to the The Listening Post, this policy has been in motion for several months now.
Silly Universal. Will you ever learn?
Allow me to impart my live experiences with Ryan Adams as such:
Date: May 16th, 2005
Location: Poughkeepsie, NY
Tour: Cold Roses
Backing Band: The Cardinals
Hospitality Rider: Beer, whiskey, beer, and beer. And whiskey.
Reaction to such heckling examples as "BRYAN ADAMS!!!" and a tragically timed "WOOOOO!" during the beginning of "Wonderwall" (Oasis cover): Tantrums, abrupt song-switch, general malaise, etc.
Date: May 16th, 2007
Location: Kingston, NY
Tour: Easy Tiger
Backing Band: The Cardinals
Hospitality Rider: Rehab, orange juice.
Reaction to such heckling examples as "NEW YORK NEW YOOOORK!!!" from an audience member on the wrong album tour: "..."
So I've got my money on a balls-out freakout during any one of these dates, but it's like Russian roulette with this dude. He's like Valium and Adderall united as one.
Oh yeah, and we've gotta have a reason to tour (unless you're Interpol): There's a new EP called Follow the Lights, and rumor has it you can hear new tracks from it on the new ABC primetime drama October Road.
All dates are fair game; I accept bar tabs and jukebox quarters as collateral:
Gnarls Barkley To Release St. Elsewhere Follow-Up In 2008; Charles Barkley To Release Rockin’ The Paint With Charles Barkley In 2019
As 2006 drew to a close for the uncomfortably fizzled-out billions of the world, Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo were spending New Year's Eve donning microphones in place of party hats and spilling champagne all over expensive recording equipment. The ideas drunkenly formed that night were forgotten, remembered, and then skillfully chiseled into the finished product you see before you. Well, not before you. Over to the side of you. The side of you that resides in Spring of 2008.
Yes, the costume-loving, multi-genre-stroking duo that makes up Gnarls Barkley is finally sorting out what tunes they want for the follow-up to last year's St. Elsewhere and plans to bring those tunes to you, o prospective consumer, in the coming (more leafy) months. Danger Mouse has said in interviews that the Brothers Barkley would only release another album if they were wholly pleased with the results, so we can expect either excitement and pleasure next season, or a gift-wrapped hearing aid sent to a notable DJ.
No title or exact release date yet, but to tide you over I have the lyrics to "Crazy" right here:
Gener and Deaner Add 2008 Dates to Ween’s Tour Behind The Band’s Newest manifesto of Weird, La Cucaracha
Ween are a polarizing force in music. Some people think everything Ween do is genius, others are not even mildly amused. Sometimes juvenile, often sadistic, frequently vulgar, and always inventive, Ween wouldn't be Ween if they recorded the touching "It's Gonna Be (Alright)" without tempering it with "Waving My Dick In The Wind." For those who can handle both halves, Ween is an arcane pleasure. For those who cannot, go fuck yourself.
If Ween alienate listeners on their albums -- like on their latest album, La Cucaracha -- their live performances drive the wedge even deeper. For those with an ear for the Brown Sound, Ween will be touring the Southwest as well as Australia and New Zealand in 2008.
Oh sure, UK-based new wave rockers The Futureheads may have been a lot of places and seen a lot of things as rock ‘n’ roll musicians. You might be sitting there in your college dorm room, office, or minimum security prison right now thinking that these four guys are better off than you. "If only I could start a successful band," you think. "Then I'd have it made."
And yeah, it all seems glamorous enough. After all, they've cut a few records, done a few tours, gotten some positive buzz from the likes of P4K, and garnered, if not "respect," then at least damned near indie-rock-household-name status.
But you know something? After a while, all of that rock ‘n’ roll stuff that seemed so utterly fulfilling at the get-go starts to become a little tedious. Before long, bands like The Futureheads find that they've spent time arguing in some hole-in-the-wall studio about whose tracks are going to make the next album, living in 14-passenger vans for months at a time, struggling to pen lyrics that are hip yet approachable, and arguing with your label about the next "single" that they've forgotten what's really important in life: getting drunk and laid, laid, laid by sexy, British College chicks!!
Well, my friends, The Futureheads must have officially learned this hard, hard lesson for themselves sometime recently, because the frisky foursome has officially waived goodbye to that whole "touring foreign and unfriendly cities filled with jaded hipsters and trying to sell records to uptight working stiffs while sleeping in under-sized motel rooms just to make ends meet and survive another tour without killing one another" scene with the recent announcement of a whole, honkin' slew of EXCLUSIVELY University Student Union-based shows this coming January!
That's right, kids. No more of that "your turn to sleep in the van with the baseball bat" horseshit for these lads! Nothing but free booze, bloated University-gig pay, impressionable youths who haven't seen live music in ages, and all of the sweet, sweet #@!!*licious !*$^ing !&**$ #$%& fests that they can handle!
Hats off, Futureheads, and godspeed. Oh, and feel free to send pix my way. Meanwhile, if you guys need anything, we average Joes will just be off killing ourselves...
Best tour EVER:
01.16.08 - Brunel, UK - Union of Brunel Students
01.17.08 - Hertfordshire, UK - University of Hertfordshire Students' Union
01.18.08 - Warwick, UK - Warwick Students' Union
01.19.08 - Leicestershire, UK - Loughborough Students' Union
01.21.08 - Hull, UK - Hull University Union
01.22.08 - Liverpool, UK - Liverpool Guild Of Students Stanley Theatre
01.23.08 - Preston, UK - Preston 53 Degrees
01.24.08 - Strathclyde, UK - Strathclyde Students' Union
01.26.08 - Sheffield, UK - University Of Sheffield Union Of Students
01.27.08 - Leeds, UK - Leeds University Union
01.28.08 - Norwich, UK - The Waterfront
01.29.08 - Bournemouth, UK - Bournemouth The Old Fire Station
Radiohead Finally Confirm European Tour Dates, Hell Freezes Over, Tickets on Sale NOW, Hell Warms Up Slightly Due to Greenhouse Gas Emissions
Radiohead certainly know how to tempt their fans, don't they? Instead of just announcing their tourdates and the corresponding list of venues all at once, the British boys have been slowly revealing information about their upcoming European tour over the past few weeks. Nothing like waving a T-Bone steak in a dog's face and making him jump for it, am I right?
So, keeping with the Radiohead way of doing things, I'm going to write the rest of this news story using weird symbols and punctuation and in a long drawn out format where I only divulge random bits of information.
In_other RH news/ discbox was_released//tues..._ _
“jigsaw falling_into_place” vid on_youtube now/originally_feat. in/webcast nov.9th.
tickts on sale now at radiohead.com/tourdates. general sale Frrriday at 9 AM GMT.
7-album release comes with bonus live_prfrmnc @ the Les Eurockéennes De Belfort festival (France_July 2003). digital. Cover of Neil Young's "After The Gold Rush."
Â£ tour_date e e _s:
Expect Fewer Gifts Under the Christmas Tree If Your Santa Works for Song BMG – Layoffs To Come Before Year’s End; Torrent Users Ruin Holiday Season
Warner Music Group, EMI, Universal Music Group, and Song BMG together make up the "big four" of major labels, collectively controlling 80% of the United States' music market and 70% of the world music market. So, when Sony BMG reported that their revenues were down from $948 million to only $851 million in their second quarter filings, the proverbial fire was lit under many asses. And so, even with impressive late-year showings from Britney Spears' Blackout (over 1,000,000 copies sold worldwide) and Alicia Keys' As I Am (over 1,400,000!), it's too little, too late in the eyes of Big Poppa Bertelsmann.
Although Warner Group and Universal both do the Hanukkah thing and EMI rolls with Kwanzaa, rumor has it that stockings will be considerably lighter when December 25 rolls around for Sony BMG employees this year. Silicon Alley Insider is reporting that between 40 and 70 mid-level executives will be laid off before the end of the year, thanks to you pesky downloaders as they'd like you to believe. Had you only picked up a few copies of Chris Brown's Exclusive, the snow would fall peacefully, kisses would be exchanged under the mistletoe, and every boy and girl would have the trinkets they covet.
Instead, at Sony BMG, it's beginning to look a lot like Shitmas.