TMT Interviews Brian Wilson For This News Story

Mango Starr: Hey man! I'm Mango from Tiny Mix Tapes, an online dating/music magazine.

Brian Wilson: Dude, I know you! I'm a big fan of your writing. That one story you did on Death Cab? Brilliant.

Mango Starr: Thanks, thanks. I'm really excited for this interview. Your publicist says I only have 10 minutes though...

Brian Wilson: Ha, yeah, sorry. As they say where I come from, "Less do dis!"

Mango Starr: Okay, so tell me about grapes.

Brian Wilson: Well, grapes grow in clusters of 6 to 300, and can be crimson, black, dark blue, yellow, green and pink. However, "white" grapes are actually green in color, and are evolutionarily derived from the red grape.

Mango Starr: Interesting. Go on, please!

Brian Wilson: Mutations in two regulatory genes of white grapes turn off production of anthocyanins which are responsible for the color of red grapes. Anthocyanins and other pigment chemicals of the larger family of polyphenols in red grapes are responsible for the varying shades of purple in red wines.

Mango Starr: What about seedless grapes?

Brian Wilson: Seedlessness is a highly desirable subjective quality in table grape selection, and seedless cultivars now make up the overwhelming majority of table grape plantings. Because grapevines are vegetatively propagated by cuttings, the lack of seeds does not present a problem for reproduction. It is, however, an issue for breeders, who must either use a seeded variety as the female parent or rescue embryos early in development using tissue culture techniques.

Mango Starr: Wow, that's crazy. I'd like to be a grape breeder someday.

Brian Wilson: Hahaha! Whatever, dude...

Mango Starr: What do you mean?

Brian Wilson: Well, being a grape breeder takes a lot of work. It's not like writing a silly news story. It takes "real" work, you know?

Mango Starr: Ahh, I could see that...

Brian Wilson: Anyhoo, I have to bust. Sorry to end this early. But I'm assuming you're publishing this as a "news story," so it's probably already too long.

Mango Starr: Good point. Anyway, you have my number!

Brian Wilson: Indeed! Expect a ring-a-ding soon!

Tourdates (via BrooklynVegan):

Bollywood Film Producer to Pay 20 Million Rupees for Music-Copyright Infringement; Producer to Composer: “It’s A Secret To Everybody”

Okay, I'll be honest. When the mail room kid brought me this scandalous story, I was a little disheartened. Oh, Bollywood! I always thought that you were the place where magic lived and dreams were made! Who knew that, beneath your multi-colored, escapist veil of deliciously illogical song and dance routines, you could be such a corrupted place? Come on, readers! Am I the only one who is outraged??

Alas, one of the last vestiges of our noble humanity has crumbled. In what is apparently being called a "landmark judgment," a Bollywood filmmaker has been ordered to pay 20 million rupees (that's $5 million U.S. dollars) to renowned(?) jingle composer Ram Sampath in a music-copyright infringement case.

Following an April 10 hearing, the Bombay High Court ruled that Mumbai-based Bollywood filmmaker/swindler Rakesh Roshan's film production company Filmkraft must pay Sampath, who claimed that two tracks and two remixes (don't ask) from Rochan's latest and presumably greatest film, uh... titled Krazzy 4... were lifted from a jingle that he had composed last year for the Sony Ericsson company. That's krazzy!

Justice did prevail, however, as Judge D. G. Karnik ruled that Rakesh and his sneaky composer/brother, Rajesh Roshan (who composed the Krazzy 4 soundtrack), were "guilty of copyright violations and plagiarism." The judge also added, classily, that "to my untrained ear, the music (in the two works) appeared to be similar." Soooo krazzy!!

Anyway, the court initially passed a thing called a "stay order" to block the film's release until the disputed songs were removed, but, well, Bollywood simply could not wait for Krazzy 4, so that order was quickly overturned after Filmkraft agreed to pay the cuckolded composer damages and give "due credit" to Sampath, as per the initial legal notice that he filed on March 24, just after the Krazzy 4 soundtrack was released. Hella krazzy!!! Bollywood, I mourn for thee...

Now, who's in for going to see this thing with me? The fourth movie is always the best, you know.

No Age Tour: Best Mother’s Day Present Ever or Opportunity to Get Really Shitfaced? If the Answer is “Both,” You Win an Incredibly Awkward Morning After

Mssrs. Spunt and Randall are going on tour in Europe, and their stop at ATP is conveniently timed on May 11 for maximum family-bonding. Awww. So if your mom likes fuzzed-out punk beats, ditch the flowers and take her out to hang with the cool kids. Nothing says “I love you” like accidentally hitting the woman who brought you into this world in the face with your arms flailing around.

But if you’re one of those people who just don’t “get” No Age, you should treat this tour differently. Although we here at TMT voted Weirdo Rippers one of our favorite albums of 2007, not everyone feels the same way. Not to fear, though! A couple months ago, I was checkin’ up on the band’s Last.fm page and saw the following note in their comment box:

“I didn’t get this band until I was drunk and puked up in my room to it.”

I can verify that being drunk and listening to No Age is pretty awesome. You, dear reader, already know from our Shitfaced Newsathon that some of us (not all) here at TMT condone ingestion of liquor, so why not take this fellow’s advice and cover your own beloved carpet in vomit!? If it’s for the excellent cause of liking good music, the cleaning bill should be worth it.

Tourdates:

Broken Spindles Tour; Did You Know That The World “Spindle” Has Multiple Meanings?

According to Wikipedia, the word “spindle” takes on a lot of different meanings depending on context. It can be part of a bicycle pedal, “a cellular structure organizing and separating the chromosomes during cell division,” or a 40-foot sculpture made from cars in Berwyn, Illinois. Who knew?

The word spindle is also used in the band name Broken Spindles, a Saddle Creek band consisting of The Faint’s Joel Peterson. Feel free to ask Peterson anything you want about spindles during his upcoming tour. I hear he’s quite knowledgeable.

Spin spin spindles:

& Styrofoam

Kayo Dot to Release New LP on Hydra Head, Dates with Earth

Kayo Dot, featuring Toby Driver and Mia Matsumiya, are set to release a new album, Blue Lambency Downward, out May 6 on Hydra Head Records. As a professional journalist, I would describe their music as caliginous, crepuscular, dismal, sepulchral, and tenebrous. But it can also be anomalous, errant, and freakish. Here, take a listen for yourself. Who knows... maybe you'll describe their music as "awesome" on a blog or something. But you should probably let me handle the descriptions and just stick to the listening. Wouldn't want you to addle yourself. (You probably don't even know what that means.)

Blue Lambency Downward tracklisting:

1. Blue Lambency Downward
2. Clelia Walking
3. Right Hand is the One I Want
4. The Sow Submits
5. The Awkward Wind Wheel
6. The Useless Ladder
7. Symmetrical Arizona

Kayo Dot tourdates:
05.04.08 - Washington D.C. - Rock and Roll Hotel ^
05.05.08 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda’s ^
05.06.08 - New York, NY - The Knitting Factory ^
05.25.08 - TBA, France - TBA $
05.26.08 - Paris, France - Main d’Oeuvres $
05.27.08 - TBA, Switzerland - TBA $
05.28.08 - Luzerne, Switzerland - Treibhaus $
05.29.08 - Namur, Belgium - Belvedere $
05.30.08 - Luxembourg - Dqliq $
05.31.08 - Munster, Germany - Gleis 22 $
06.01.08 - TBA, Benelux - TBA
06.02.08 - Berlin, Germany - Cassiopeia
06.03.08 - Copenhagen, Denmark - Lades Kaelder
06.04.08 - Dresden, Germany - Az Conni
06.05.08 - Prague, CZ -Chateau Rouge
06.06.08 - Munich, Germany - Feierwerk
06.07.08 - Frankfurt, Germany - Elfer
06.08.08 - Rotterdam, Netherlands - Worm

^ Earth

$ Gregor Samsa

Meg Baird of Espers Is Doing A Solo Tour for the Soul (Don’t You Like It When TMT Headlines & Stories Have Less Sarcasm And More Introspective Thought?)

Sarcasm is a fickle thing, fellow TMT readers. Some of us are good at it, and some of us think we're good at it. Most people think that sarcasm is tough to write, but I think it's tough to read! Let's face it, it's both hard to dish out and hard to take in. You never know what to believe when a TMT writer admits they find the new Mariah Carey single playing in their heads on a daily basis or when Hanky Panky says the Sub Pop 20th anniversary fest will be "mediocre" (TMT News). You also probably don't really know what we think of Mr P. A lot of the time we talk about how big of an asshole he is, and we barely focus on how incredible of a guy he is and how his grammar skills rock. This also begs another question: why do we spend so much time writing about him? No one else does this except for us. I think we all just want to bone him but are too afraid to admit it. [Ready for a bonin' anytime, cutie. -- Editor]

Writing about Meg Baird of the Espers can be just as fickle. You ever have that feeling when you just don't know much about a subject or a particular person and you end up just winging it? Yeah, I feel that way a lot! I don't typically "wing it" in the traditional sense (I do research and fact-checking), but with a low-key musician like Meg Baird, you can't really say much of anything. Except that she plays dope folk music, has an album called Dear Companion, plays in Espers, and is touring. That's all you really need to know about her, and I'd like to think that if you haven't heard of Meg Baird you'll go look her up on MySpace and see if she's your cup of tea. If she is, then you can visit her at the following shows:

Sub Pop 20th Anniversary Festival in July, Baby

I don't know if Sub Pop has ever organized a festival before, which may be why the up-and-coming Sub Pop music and comedy festival is shaping up to be the worst festival ever announced. Titled the SP20 Festival, they've already missed the mark, because titling it SPF 20 would have been much wittier. Indeed, SP20 Festival isn't witty at all and thus fails to market itself by name and name alone.

Then comes the issue of music... and comedy. Granted, the general theme of "so and so art and music festival" is getting old and rarely has anything to do with art beyond a couple large-scale sculptures put in the middle of the festival ground featuring misting hoses to be utilized by sweaty freak-fans on the verge of heatstroke, but comedy seems an unlikely coupling for a music festival. Nevertheless, Sub Pop will give it a go, featuring label unknowns Eugene Mirman, Patton Oswalt, and label friend and fan Todd Barry. Where's Chris Rock? Where's Jon Stewart?

While past Sub Pop artists are the things of legend, a few mainstay individuals such as Kurt Cobain and Jeremy Enigk could not be secured for the SP20 lineup -- a disappointment to be sure -- but this has not left SP high and dry. With more cataloged artists than you can shake a stick at (what the hell does that mean anyway?), the lineup appears to be weak and growing weaker, with Beachwood Sparks, Comets on Fire, Fleet Foxes, Flight of the Conchords, The Fluid, Foals, Grand Archives, Green River, The Helio Sequence, Iron & Wine, Kinski, Low, Mudhoney, No Age, Pissed Jeans, Red Red Meat, The Ruby Suns, Seaweed, and Wolf Parade, with more to be announced in the coming months.

Inside the offices, SP will be arranging a series of re-releases, starting with Mudhoney's Superfuzz Bigmuff: Deluxe Edition (May 22) and a limited run of the Sub Pop Singles Club.

Ticket information (bear with me): Discounted $30 single-day or $50 two-day passes to the SP20 Festival go on sale Saturday April 26, at noon, if you feel the need to be anal-retentively prompt. Otherwise, ticket prices will increase to $35 single-day or $60 two-day passes on May 10. Tickets for the SP20 Comedy Show are $20 and go on sale April 26 at noon. All ticket proceeds will go toward an assortment of "beneficiaries" deemed worthy by Sub Pop and participating festival artists -- don't ask.

SP20 Festival:

SINGER Plan Lengthy Spring Jaunt; Robert Lowe Releases Gyromancy

Drag City quartet SINGER has mapped out an unusually busy spring tour to promote the release of last month's gloriously mouthy Unhistories. The LP, a clear mishmash of four able-bodied young musical minds, relies heavily on the vocal ranges of its members rather than their unique powers of instrumentation. The group is also ably backed by the ferociously talented Todd Rittman (U.S. Maple), so the instrumentation aspect of the LP does anything but whimper in the corner. It's not entirely clear how long SINGER plan on staying around, but you'll have plenty of opportunities to see if the new relationship is fruitful.

SINGER's founding member Robert AA Lowe (Lichens, 90 Day Men) has also recently released a new LP entitled Gyromancy (Thrill Jockey) with Rose Lazar, a book/3-inch CD bundle in the tradition of Daniel AIU Higgs' Atomic Yggdrasil Tarot. Thrill Jockey gushes: "Gyromancy looks at future past, neo antiquity, ritual magic, and patterning. The book represents a dream walk through nature and all of its influences. Repetition of imagery keeps you aware of the cyclical patterns that nature presents us with. We get caught up in these patterns without noticing them, to the point that you have to stop and take a harder look. Gyromancy is an attempt at taking a harder look."

You can purchase Gyromancy here, or spend $2 more to get a hand-crafted, limited-to-100 edition here.

Tour Galore:

* Enon

& Cloudland Canyon

Sunset Rubdown To Last Until Sunrise

I stood at the window, looking out across the beach and the ocean, watching as the sun approached the horizon. On this small Mediterranean island, no one but my loving husband was around to see my full nudity, unless one counted the birds that occasionally flew past my view of the sunset. There was a lone boat passing slowly by in the distance, its single sail raised high into the sky, but even if anyone on the boat thought to look toward the small abode, I doubted that even binoculars would allow me to be seen behind the window in the dim room.

I was physically and mentally exhausted. Our sunset-to-sunrise sexathon was nearing its end, yet despite the rawness I felt between my legs, my body still craved more, still yearned for that one final climax. And, given how my husband's manhood was lengthening against my back as his arms enveloped me with love and security, I knew that he felt the same.

Sunset Rubdown tourdates: