No Age will be touring this fall and will probably have difficulty purchasing alcohol because of their agelessness, but I’m not gonna be the one who gets it for them because that’s gotten me in trouble too many times.

I’m just not doing it anymore. Too many parents calling me complaining about “oh you dared my kid he couldn’t drink a whole thing of beers and now he’s in some kinda coma” or whatever bull. You try to be a cool dude in this world, and look where it gets you. It’s like Billie Joe Armstrong said, man: nice guys finish last. So that’s it -- don’t you punks stand in front of the liquor store downtown asking me to get you a bottle of 99 Candy Canes no more. It ain’t gonna happen.

Not even for No Age when they continue their Nouns (TMT Review) tour across Europe into the fall on the following dates. Yep, not even then, bro.

Enjoy the Pit Er Pat of Pit Er Pat This October!

Chicago's Pit Er Pat will be releasing their latest album entitled High Time October 21 on Thrill Jockey.

Comprised of Fay Davis-Jeffers (vocals, piano, guitar), Butchy Fuego (drums, vocals, percussion, electronics/programming), and Rob Doran (bass, vocals, guitar, electronics). Pit Er Pat also employ a variety of other instruments on the record, including electric kalimba, Burmese temple gongs, bongos, shakers, bells, chimes, claps, melodica, and a bunch of other clangy hippie shit. High Time was recorded by drummer Butchy Fuego, who has also recorded Soft Circle and Matteah Baim, in their own Top Cat Studio. And if that wasn't enough, the record also includes horn arrangements by Dylan Ryan (Icy Demons, Bronze, Herculanium) and flutes.

The band is planning a monster tour in the fall to support.

Tracklisting for High Time:

Death Cab for Cutie Add U.S. Tour, Look Even More Indie Than When They Were Actually on an Indie Label

Mango Starr: What's up dude!

Ben Gibbard: Shut up.

Mango Starr: Huh?

Ben Gibbard: I said shut up.

Mango Starr: Why? What's your problem?

Ben Gibbard: Blah blah blah, shut the fuck up.

Mango Starr: Ben... this doesn't sound like you...

Ben Gibbard: I saw what you wrote about me on Tiny Mixed Tapes.

Mango Starr: What did I write?

Ben Gibbard: You know what you wrote.

Mango Starr: Whatever... I didn't write shit.

Ben Gibbard: Oh yeah? What about this:"Death Cab for Cutie are TERRIBLE. I'd rather die than listen to Ben's stupid voice."

Mango Starr: What?? I never fucking wrote that!

Ben Gibbard: Whatever... no more getting beers when I'm in town.

Mango Starr: Oh, boo hoo. I don't give a shit. You're a mean drunk anyway.

Ben Gibbard: You just don't like us anymore because we're on a major. That's childish and stupid. Our music is as good as ever.

Mango Starr: Yeah, I mean.. I'll admit that your music is still--

Ben Gibbard: You're just a whiner. Hope you die.

Mango Starr: C'mon Ben. I was just fucking around. You know I'm not like that.

Ben Gibbard: I do, but now all your fans think you hate DCFC.

Mango Starr: Oh, don't get so emo on me.

Ben Gibbard: Fuck you.

Philip Glass Drops Glass Box, Shards Injure Several Nearby College Professors

Alright, dudes-in-bands, listen up. Fucking school’s in session, and our instructor is Philip Glass. Yes, after more than four decades of making us all exclaim “Why didn’t I think of that!?!?” as we listened in awe to things like singers counting beats and singing sol feg syllables, arpeggios repeating for 13+ minutes, and electronic rock organs, flutes, and violins being used simultaneously on one record, minimalist/process music pioneer Philip Glass will finally be able to slap all casual musicians in the face at once with Glass Box, a 10-disc retrospective of his incredibly dynamic and prolific career.

Said guilt-box, which will include excerpts from Glass' largest and best-known works, such as Einstein on the Beach and Satyagraha, as well as selections from his ensemble pieces and highlights from scores to several films (including The Thin Blue Line, The Hours and The Fog Of War), will be released, with typical aplomb, via Nonesuch September 23.

In addition to making all other musicians feel like drains on society by comparison, Glass Box will also include a 191-page(!) booklet with notes from the composer, archival photos, libretti (uh... lyrics), texts, and appreciations from several colleagues and admirers with whom we’ll never even find ourselves in the same sentence. These include: Paul Simon, David Byrne, Chuck Close, and, oh yeah, Nonesuch Records President Bob Hurwitz. Even Billy Corgan doesn’t know all those people!

Oh, and one more thing... The CDs and booklet are ingeniously packaged in a fucking cube -- yeah that’s right -- that will be covered on five sides with classic images of Glass by Chuck Close, Robert Wilson, Francesco Clemente, Robert Mapplethorpe, and Annie Leibovitz. Oh, what’s that? Your band’s demo comes in a slim-line jewel case? Yeah... mine does too.

Religious Knives Will be Gentlemen and Open The Door for You This October, Tour in September

Brooklyn’s own delectably droney Religious Knives have put the finishing touches on yet another new release (this year alone, we've already reviewed Resin and It's After Dark). The Door will be released October 14 on Ecstatic Peace!, coincidentally one day before my birthday -- so mark that on your calendars, too.

The album is described as “a summer record for those dread days when the heat holds low and skin sticks to cheap car seats and old patio furniture… the score for disappearing neighborhoods and crumbling buildings, a hope of holding onto the past as those around us move fast to forget it.” Groovy.

The Door was recorded at Bank Row in Greenfield, MA and produced by Thurston Moore and the band. Songs have been posted on their MySpace for you to hear, if that’s your thing. Meanwhile, Religious Knives are set for a European tour starting in France September 17.

The Door tracklisting:

$ Gala Drop

YouTube Bounces Back From Poor Audio Compression System With Improved Sound, Videos of Laughing Babies Have Never Sounded Better

To anyone who's ever gotten the urge to listen to a song you don't have and then gone straight to YouTube, it should be apparent that YouTube is our generation's all-purpose, instantly accessible jukebox. Unfortunately for us, it seemed that the audio quality of YouTube clips had received a drastic blow when, towards the end of July, the website launched a new audio scheme which starkly altered the sound quality of music clips by heavily truncating their dynamic range. As reported on Wired's Listening Post blog, the move prompted not only frustration from audiophile YouTube users (apparently as much a rare breed as you'd expect), but also user-generated hacks designed to counteract the processing, conspiracy theories that the maneuver was designed to favor already-processed mainstream pop over "properly produced music," and dissent from music gear companies who felt that their capacity to advertise on the site had been compromised.

Thankfully, Listening Post's July 30 story prompted both a typically vague response from YouTube PR ("The vast majority of videos currently benefit from our audio technology, and we are committed to improving that in the future" -- oh, okay) and an actual change in the audio process. Because YouTube kept unprocessed copies of all videos' audio files, they were able to develop a new, far less problematic system which is now in place. Now we can all breathe a sigh of relief that the next time a mid-’90s MTV nostalgia kick infects you with the craving to listen to, say, Ghost Town DJs' "My Boo," it will sound as crisp and glorious as online streaming video usually does!

Mark David Chapman Denied Parole a 5th Time, Not Even Mark David Chapman Surprised

Mark David Chapman, the infamous murderer of The Beatles’ probably all-around good guy John Lennon, was once again denied parole from prison today. Chapman, 53, has been imprisoned in Attica State Prison since 1981 for his crime against the late Lennon in December of 1980.

Of course, no one was surprised by the fifth denial of parole since October of 2000. Apparently, you can’t just kill one of the most culturally significant artists in history, say “I’m sorry,” and then expect things to go your way -- especially when Yoko Ono has been consistently lobbying against you since your first application for parole. Sorry, Mark. Actually, no, I’m not.

Radiohead Have Not Written the Score to Choke, Nor Have They Recorded a New Song For It

As I suspected earlier today in my original story (TMT News), Radiohead have NOT written the "score" to the upcoming film, Choke (see trailer here). In fact, they didn't even record a new song for it at all. According to The Playlist:

It's either a language thing or Palahniuk is confused or mistaken, but Radiohead did not compose a bunch of new instrumental music and cues for this film ala the way Jonny Greenwood did for "There Will Be Blood" (which is what a score is). We hate to be sticklers for language, but if we're not, things get misreported. A score and writing songs are two different things and Radiohead didn't even pen new songs for the film. "Choke" utilizes "Reckoner" from In Rainbows, in the closing credits and the score is actually written by Nathan Larson ex of Shudder To Think.

We just confirmed this btw, with the music supervisors on the film Ken Weinstein and Lyle Hysen. Our original report on the music of "Choke" is still correct. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Funny how most everyone just ate the news up, probably due to the fact that it all derived from the same BBC report and straight from author Chuck Palahniuk's mouth. But just remember: Palahniuk is a Pablo Honey fan. He can't be trusted. Got some press though, that's for sure.

DJ /Rupture Emerges from Spanish Exile (..Seriously..) with Uproot, Ingredients Comp

DJ /Rupture, beloved genre-splicer and DJ laureate of Brooklyn circa 2002, is prepping both a new mix CD, Uproot, and a companion compilation of the mix's unaltered "ingredients," both due October 3 on The Agriculture Records. Uproot, Rupture's first solo mix release since 2005's Low Income Tomorrowland and after his return to the States after seven years in Barcelona, draws it inspiration from typically disparate sources such as dub, minimal, and the NYC improv scene. Listenable and bass-heavy, the mix includes artists like British dubstepper Shackleton and blues-inspired glitchster (and improbable RHCP collaborator) Ekkehard Ehlers.

Uproot will also be accompanied by the online release of Ingredients, a 108-minute comp including all of the mix's tracks in unmixed form. Described as a "multi-format release" in a press release, the mix is particularly nice for fans hoping to hear full-length versions of Uproot's nine previously unreleased tracks. Meanwhile, Rupture continues to host a weekly show, Mudd Up!, on indie freeform radio station WFMU.

Uproot tracklist

+/- (Plus/Minus) Announce New Album, Xs On Your Eyes

Oh, that silly +/- and their love of mathematical symbols! With the announcement of their new album, Xs On Your Eyes, due October 21 on Absolutely Kosher, the boys of all things adding and subtracting are quickly drumming up attention for their new album. Hell, I already feel obligated to post their new record’s tracklisting and listen to their entire discography to get ready for it. Now, if I could just do something about my urge to draw Xs on my eyelids, I'd be all set.

Xs on Your Eyes tracklisting:

Don’t draw Xs on your eyes, or you won’t be able to see the following tourdates:
08.15.08 – New York City, NY – Mercury Lounge
08.16.08 – Cambridge, MA – Middle East (Upstairs)