There are expensive turntables... and here is another one. This record player is called The Gabriel, and it could be yours for $64,000. As you can see, this model has four arms, making constant changing of pickup cartridges a thing of the past (finally!). The one-armed model will run you a mere $27,000.
Why would a pile of aluminum, bronze, and stainless steel cost you a couple of years tuition at your finest community college? Well, it bills itself as a shining example of magnetic suspension, which lifts vinyl mere millimeters above bearings by means of calibrated magnets which dampen vibrations, as if the record was nestled upon feathers plucked from the sublime wings of the angel Gabriel himself. As any seasoned audiophile will tell you, that makes for “good lissnin’!” It takes half a day for maker Angelis Labor to calibrate The Gabriel and set up the turntable. As Placido Pappalardo, co-owner of Angelis Labor, claims, “When I look at it the only word that comes to mind is love.” We hope so, and at that price it better swallow too!
Very high-end record players are not that rare, and they are fun to look at. For example, this. These. Or this nutty thing! A quick stroll on the web will yield you plenty of (I hate to go over your heads and get real technical here) mumbo-jumbo justifying these pricey units, and if discerning between low bass string gauges is important to you, then these may make your listening conundrums easier. Regardless of the extravagance, all of us have some sort of stereo setup and love music, so it never hurts to take a few moments during your day and daydream about owning a sweet piece of stereo art normally scooped up in pairs by billionaire bumpkins who want to hear that stupid “bawitdabaabangadangdiggydiggyboobysandwich” Kid Rock song in its purest form (one for the den, one for the outhouse).
If you do somehow have the funds to buy The Gabriel, you will have to contact the company directly; Angelis Labor will never allow anybody to sell their products on the internet. Said Pappalardo: “We will never allow anybody to sell our products on the Internet.” Maybe they are willing to do radio ads?
Want to be the envy of your friends and have them stripped-searched upon entry to your home? Then The Gabriel is for you. The Gabriel is one of the small few contestants to ever beat BioHazard on Battlebots. The Gabriel doesn’t use electricity, but it does need to be fed crickets, mice, and rattlesnakes to function. The U.S. Government used The Gabriel to develop its stealth aircraft technology. The Gabriel has been its own UN designation, out of respect. Don’t make eye contact with The Gabriel; it can turn on you like a bipolar nympho possessed by a feral parrot off its meds. Girls, don’t expect a call from The Gabriel the morning after a hot date; do expect to be pregnant. Always bring The Gabriel on road trips; it can change a tire and hunt and cook you survival vittles...
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti (who are now in the studio recording a new full-length, who have just released a limited-edition 7-inch on Mexican Summer Records, and who will be touring with Duchess Says and Animal Collective throughout March) and Vivian Girls (whose self-titled debut was re-released by In the Red, whose "sweetly angelic vocals is practically a can't-miss concoction," who have some scattered dates in Feburary with M. Ward, and who will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers) have announced a joint 13-date tour, which will lead up to their first appearances at Coachella.
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti & Vivian Girls:
04.02.09 - New York, NY - Music Hall of Williamsburg
04.03.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda's
04.04.09 - Baltimore, MD - Ottobar
04.05.09 - Chapel Hill, NC - Local 506
04.06.09 - Knoxville, TN - Pilot Light
04.07.09 - Atlanta, GA - The Earl
04.08.09 - New Orleans, LA - The Parish
04.09.09 - Houston, TX - Walter's on Washington
04.10.09 - Austin, TX - The Mohawk
04.11.09 - Dallas, TX - Hailey's
04.13.09 - Phoenix, AZ - Modified
04.14.09 - Tucson, AZ - Plush
04.15.09 - San Diego, CA - Casbah
04.19.09 - Indio, CA - Coachella Music & Arts Festival
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti:
02.26.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Henry Fonda $
03.17.09 - San Francisco, CA - Bottom Of the Hill #
03.19.09 - Portland, OR - Holocene #
03.20.09 - Seattle, WA - El Corazon #
03.21.09 - Vancouver, BC - Media Club #
03.22.09 - Missoula, MT - Palace #
03.24.09 - Salt Lake City, UT - Urban Lounge #
03.25.09 - Denver, CO - Hi Dive #
03.27.09 - Minneapolis, MN - Triple Rock #
03.28.09 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle #
03.30.09 - Toronto, ONT - El Mocambo #
03.31.09 - Montreal, PQ - Zoobizarre #
03.01.09 - Boston, MA - TT the Bears #
$ Animal Collective
# Duchess Says
02.19.09 - New York, NY - The Apollo %
02.20.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Trocadero %
02.21.09 - Washington, DC - Sixth & I Historic Synagogue %
03.18.09 - Austin, TX - SXSW
% M. Ward
Massive Attack has plans for a new album. Portishead has reunited. Kingdom have risen and fallen, and over 10 years have passed since the birth of trip-hop. For too long, the lords of the downbeat had been silent. But now something is stirring. It comes'a rumblin' from the West, a steady hum from the concert venues of America. It could only mean one thing: Tricky has been roused from his slumber to complete an extensive tour of the United States and resume his position in the sacred trip-hop trifecta.
Tricky will be hitting the road for a five-week U.S. tour in support of his most recent album Knowle West Boy, a fresh mix of hip-hop, punk, and electronica that proves the Kid is still an innovative and inspiring presence in the scene. If you missed Tricky when he was last stateside in September, this list of tourdates is his most extensive yet, with stops at the Langerado Festival in Miami and at SXSW, where he's billed alongside Devo.
To celebrate, Domino Records is digitally releasing the "Puppy Boy" single with remixes, unreleased B-sides, and videos for "Council Estate" and "Puppy Boy." Performances promise songs from throughout the man's career, and he's been selling out shows all across Europe -- so don't sleep on this
03.02.09 - Farmingdale, NY - Crazy Donkey
03.03.09 - New York, NY - The Fillmore at Irving Plaza
03.06.09 - Miami, FL - Langerado Festival
03.07.09 - St. Petersburg, FL - State Theatre
03.09.09 - Charlotte, NC - Neighborhood Theatre
03.10.09 - Baltimore, MD - Ram's Head Live
03.11.09 - Boston, MA - The Roxy
03.13.09 - Chicago, IL - Epiphany
03.14.09 - Minneapolis, MN - Fine Line Music Hall
03.18.09 - San Antonio, TX - The Scout Bar
03.20.09 - Austin, TX - Austin Music Hall*
03.23.09 - San Diego, CA - Belly Up
03.24.09 - Anaheim, CA - House of Blues
03.25.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Henry Fonda Theater
03.26.09 - San Francisco, CA - Mezzanine
03.27.09 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir
03.28.09 - Seattle, WA - Showbox
Ryland Bouchard (ex-Robot Ate Me) will wrap up his European tour tonight in Brussels, before embarking on a "whole new world" (North America) tomorrow in Chicago. He'll be supporting his latest 7-inch box set, Seeds (TMT News), which is absolutely beautiful.
Tour-related things to check out:
- I Need Sleep, who are opening a bunch of the dates and have some music coming out on Swim Slowly later this year.
- Emperor X, who is also playing a bunch of dates with Ryland.
- Drew Danburry, who's only playing a handful of dates but also has his own tour going on.
Things to check out in any context:
- Indian River High School Talent Show (performance of "A Whole New World"):
- "A Whole New World" by Nick Pitera (check out this dude's "Jasmine"):
02.04.09 - Chicago, IL - Go Go Town: 3117 S. Morgan Ave
02.05.09 - Toronto, ON - Rancho Relaxo #
02.06.09 - Montreal, QC - The Green Room # & !
02.07.09 - Ottawa, ON - 443 Kent Street #
02.12.09 - Burlington, VT - Monkey House
02.13.09 - Willimantic, CT - Wrench in the Works
02.15.09 - New York City, NY - Cake Shop #
02.16.09 - Jamestown, NY - Labyrinth Press Company #
02.17.09 - Meadville, PE - Allegheny College #
02.18.09 - Gambier, OH - Kenyon College # &
02.19.09 - Kalamazoo, MI - 1809 Douglas Ave
02.20.09 - Rock Island, IL - Daytrotter
02.21.09 - Dekalb, IL - The House Cafe # &&
02.22.09 - Chicago, IL - The Empty Bottle
02.23.09 - East Moline, IL - Mixtapes!
02.25.09 - Urbana, IL - 107 N Coler Ave # &&
02.26.09 - Madison, WI - TBA
02.27.09 - Northfield, MN - Carleton College # &&
02.28.09 - Minneapolis, MN - TBA
03.03.09 - Kansas City, MO - The Pistol Social Club #
03.06.09 - Denton, TX - Rubber Gloves $ & #
03.07.09 - Santa Fe, NM - Meow Wolf $ & #
03.09.09 - Phoenix, AZ - The Trunk Space # & $
03.10.09 - Tucson, AZ - The Living Room
03.12.09 - Irvine, CA - UC Irvine $ & #
03.13.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Ports O Call
03.20.09 - Portland, OR - The Artistery
# Emperor X
& I Need Sleep
$ Drew Danburry
! The Winks
On April 7, Vagrant will release The Hold Steady's A Positive Rage, a double-disc set that includes a 53-minute documentary of the band in London and a live disc from Halloween 2007. According to their publicist: "A Positive Rage captures the excitement and high spirits of both the band and their fans in the days surrounding the release of their third full-length, Boys and Girls in America, (Vagrant) and ensuing world tour in 2006."
The live disc will also feature five bonus tracks, "Ask Her For Adderall," "Cheyenne Sunrise," "Two Handed Handshake," and unreleased tracks "Spectres" and "40 Bucks."
The band's currently on tour, which will culminate with the band opening for Counting Crows in May.
There, I wrote the story. Can you let me out of this room now, Mr P? Fuckin' jerk.
A Positive Rage tracklisting:
2. Stuck Between Stations
3. The Swish
4. Chips Ahoy!
5. Massive Nights
6. Ask Her For Adderall
7. Barfruit Blues
8. Same Kooks
9. You Gotta Dance (With Who You Came With)
10. Lord, I'm Discouraged
11. You Can Make Him Like You
12. Your Little Hoodrat Friend
13. Southtown Girls
15. First Night
16. Girls Like Status
17. Killer Parities
02.04.09 - Sydney, AUS - The Metro Theatre
02.06.09 - Perth, AUS - Laneway Festival
02.07.09 - Adelaide, AUS - Laneway Festival
02.08.09 - Sydney, AUS - Laneway Festival
03.31.09 - Albany, NY - Valentine's
04.01.09 - Buffalo, NY - Tralf Music Hall
04.02.09 - Grand Rapids, MI - Calvin College Fine Arts Center
04.03.09 - Urbana, IL - Illini Courtyard Café
04.04.09 - Bloomington, IN - Jake's Nightclub
04.06.09 - St. Louis, MO - Gargoyle
04.07.09 - Iowa City, IA - The Picador
04.08.09 - Omaha, NE - Slowdown
04.10.09 - Boulder, CO - Fox Theatre
04.11.09 - Salt Lake City, UT - The Urban Lounge
04.13.09 - Las Vegas, NV - Beauty Bar
04.14.09 - Stateline, NV - Harrah's Tahoe South Shore Room
04.17.09 - Indio, CA - Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival
04.15.09 - Sacramento, CA - Harlow's
05.10.09 - Glasgow, UK - SECC #
05.11.09 - Manchester, UK - Manchester Evening News Arena #
05.13.09 - Birmingham, UK - NIA #
05.14.09 - London, UK - Wembley Arena #
05.16.09 - Cardiff, UK - Cardiff Arena #
05.18.09 - Bournemouth, UK - BIC #
05.19.09 - Nottingham, UK - Royal Centre #
05.21.09 - Brixton, UK - Academy #
05.30.09 - Hunter Mountain, NY - Mountain Jam
# Counting Crows
You know something? Before Frank Zappa died in 1993, he was a lot of things: a tireless tinkerer, a musical adventurer, a trail-blazing perfectionist, an outlandishly innovative band leader, and a caring and, shall we say, ”highly original” husband and father. But you know what? There’s one thing he wasn’t: a good-looking man.
Such trivial physicalities were clearly of no great importance to the German Frank Zappa Fan Club, however, as they have seemingly had no problem using Frank’s name and image in logos and other merchandize products relating to their annual Zappanale Festival since its inception back in 1990. (Umm, now might be a good time to take a moment to remind everyone here just what that hallowed image looks like, probably huh? Yeah. Here you go.)
Recently, however, Frank’s widow Gail and her family trust launched a lawsuit against the German Fan Club over its little annual shindig (which attracted some 6,800 visitors last year), demanding, in particular, the removal of a (get this!) bronze sculpture of Zappa that serves as the centerpiece of the festival site (yeah, let’s go to those visual aids one more time, shall we?) and damages of €250,000 (that’s $325,000) if the festival continues to use the “Zappanale” name.
Unfortunately for, er, everyone, the higher court in Dusseldorf ruled on January 21 that festival organizers may continue to use Zappa's name and his image on the festival logo, as well as on related merchandise products such as t-shirts and baseball caps (I could do this all day!).
It further ruled that Gail Zappa's rights were not violated and that she could not prove she uses the Zappa brand in Germany herself, finding she has had knowledge of the festival since its inception back in the day. Several thousand (presumably blind?) Zappa fans had previously demanded the withdrawal of the lawsuit, which was first launched in April 2008. Thomas Dippel, festival speaker and head of that crazy little bronze-statue-errecting fan club, welcomed the ruling. "We have always been certain that we have the older rights," he said. "We have also patented the name of the festival with the German patent office. Gail Zappa only applied for the patent of her own rights in 2002." So I guess all’s well that ends well, right Frank? Yeeeek... uh, right.
Oh, and FYI: The 2009 edition is scheduled August 12-16. And I bet they serve burnt weenie sandwiches there!
Envision "excitement." Do you see fireworks? A cowboy monkey riding a dog? Hot babes with nose drugs? How about letters and numerals? Now, if you're Koch Records, maybe the first three are all well and good, but it looks like the ol' putting-a-letter-with-a-number trick never fails to stir up some thrills. See, America's largest indie record company is looking to step its game up a little bit in these tough economic times with a good old-fashioned name change. And what did they choose? Capuchin Recordings? Taco'rustlin? Columbian Lady, Inc? Oh no... they went all out and took an "E," funked it up, and slapped a "1" on it -- and voila, ladies and gentlemen, we have E1 Recordings.
Not sure of the exact reason for the revamp, but in spite of the badness affecting record industry stalwarts WEA, Universal, EMI, and Sony, the newly-christened E1 says it is doing pretty alright and avoiding the cutbacks. Bravo, E1. But don't take it from me; take it from General Manager Alan Grunblatt, who stated in a press release that "We are looking at the best year in our history. We are just changing our name to E1 and will continue to change the game."
Nobodaddy’s “Obvious News” Roundup: Flaming Lips Soundtrack Mushroom Movie, The Number Two Announces Its Equivalence to One Plus One, Sugar Tastes “Sweet,” Experts Say
Lose the watch, man. According to Pitchfork, there’s a new independent film coming out soon (and in glorious TECHNICOLOR at that!) called Know Your Mushrooms, and its soundtrack will feature contributions (musical and possibly otherwise) by everyone’s favorite white men on the chessboard: The Flaming Lips. (Animal Collective must have been deemed a little too bad-trip-prone for this one... oh, plus they’re probably busy charting...)
Directed by Grass documentarian Ron “Maaan” Mann and featuring ’shroom expert Larry Evans, the film will apparently, you know, steer pretty clear of any attempts to legitimize its subject and will likely reinforce the HELL out of every hallucinogenic stereotype in the book as it "opens the doors to perception, takes the audience on a longer, stranger trip and delivers them to a brave new world where the fungi might well guide humanity to a saner, safer place… with extra cheese…" according to its website.
But hey, that’s just, like, my opinion, man. Besides, there’s no stopping this multi-colored microbus of a film now! Know Your Mushrooms premiered this past December and is already hitting the festival circuit and art houses in North America. Stops on the magical mystery tour will include screenings at SXSW March 14, Cinematheque Winnepeg March 13-15, and Vancouver's The Vancity April 3-6.
And in celebration of the film, our boys the Lips have put a brand new song from the movie called "Anything You Say Now I Believe You" on their MySpace page. The movie also features "The Wizard Turns On..." from At War with the Mystics and The Soft Bulletin's "What Is the Light?" Wizards? Mysterious light? Man, what a geeky ass drug mushrooms are!
Depeche Mode to Release 12th Studio LP In April; Meanwhile, My Imaginary Hardcore Band Koresh Mode I
A tracklist for a lover, delivered by a lover:
1. In Chains
2. Hole To Feed
4. Fragile Tension
5. Little Soul
8. Come Back
11. Miles Away / The Truth Is
Flight of the Conchords Announce Tourdates, Suspiciously Play Two Shows a Night in Philadelphia, Milwaukee, and Berkeley
I almost blew my load... of laundry as I overloaded my washer while reading an urgent text message that Flight of the Conchords, New Zealand's fourth most popular folk duo, have announced a tour in support of their sophomore album for Sub Pop. Here's a list of things you can do while waiting for the not-so-secret pre-sale to the facial hair of Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie, up close and personal.
- Read sheep jokes
- Make a toothbrush fence
- Participate in a Team-Building Exercise
- Watch new episodes of the second Season of Flight of the Conchords on HBO.
- Read list of tourdates below, repetitively, for an unhealthy amount time until everyone who loves you leaves and all you have left is seeing FOTC live. After that, you have nothing to live for
04.06.09 - Tampa, FL - Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center *
04.07.09 - Coral Gables, FL - University of Miami BankUnited Center *
04.08.09 - Orlando, FL - UCF Arena *
04.10.09 - Nashville, TN - Ryman Auditorium *
04.11.09 - Atlanta, GA - Fox Theatre *
04.13.09 - Washington, D.C.- Constitution Hall *
04.14.09 - New York, NY - Radio City Music Hall *
04.17.09 - Boston, MA - Agganis Arena *
04.18.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Tower Theatre (2 shows) *
04.19.09 - Kent, OH - Kent State University *
04.21.09 - Toronto, ON - Massey Hall ^
04.22.09 - Toronto, ON - Massey Hall ^
04.24.09 - Detroit, MI - Fox Theatre ^
04.25.09 - Bloomington, IN - IU Auditorium ^
04.26.09 - Madison, WI - Overture Center for the Arts ^
04.28.09 - Chicago, IL - Aerie Crown ^
04.30.09 - St.Louis, MO - Fox Theatre ^
05.02.09 - Milwaukee, WI - Riverside Theatre (2 shows) ^
05.03.09 - Minneapolis, MN - Northrop Auditorium ^
05.05.09 - Dallas, TX - Nokia Theatre ^
05.06.09 - Houston, TX - Jones Hall ^
05.07.09 - Austin, TX - Bass Concert Hall ^
05.10.09 - Vancouver, BC - Center in Vancouver for the Performing Arts %
05.11.09 - Seattle, WA - Paramount Theatre %
05.12.09 - Seattle, WA - Paramount Theatre %
05.14.09 - Portland, OR - Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall %
05.16.09 - Denver, CO - Red Rocks Amphitheatre %%
05.17.09 - Salt Lake City, UT - Abravanel, Hall %
05.19.09 - Phoenix, AZ - Dodge Theatre %
05.20.09 - San Diego, CA - RIMAC Arena %
05.22.09 - Santa Barbara, CA - County Bowl %
05.23.09 - Las Vegas, NV - The Joint %
05.24.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Greek Theatre %
05.25.09 - Berkeley, CA - Berkeley Community Theatre (2 shows) %
* Kristen Schaal
^ Eugene Mirman
% Arj Barker
%% Iron & Wine AND Arj Barker